They say
Words speak louder than actions,
But
Why are your actions louder than your words?
You tell me that you love me,
And yet go into her arms.

Looking at your sleeping figure for the last time
Sprawled across the comfiest couch we have ever slept on
I smile as softly as your snores that barely fill the room
Give your left cheek a swift kiss
As my silent goodbye you'll never know I gave

I slowly tuck the blanket around your hips and chest
Knowing how much you need to be held on to
Then walk out the familiar door I will never see again
Turning off my hurting heart the same way
I am forced to turn that golden, squeaky doorknob closed

Carried sorrow her brow.
Unnoticeable till now.
Sadness dulls her features.
Misunderstood creature.
Framing within life.
Violent as knife.
Actions less planned.
Make no more stand.
Time for rest.
Deeply guessed.
Pain flows.
Tears show.
Pawn.
Gone.

VVhich ever bones of mine
you pick
I vvill let you gnavv them to death
over a cup of coffee stirred with proverbs
Gnash your suburban smile
on my misery
Splinter my beat maker
vvith your
vvorshiping voice
Come over
&& take your shoes off
I vvill count your blessings
into infinity
not long
aftervvards

his sun kissed face buried in my neck
as he whisper words going through my head
he feels so cold between the sheets of this bed

cheap thrills, blue pills, wounds that can't heal
red lips against my skin, giving me chills
but i love him too much for me to keep him

Maybe I'm not sick enough
Of sad, beautiful girls.

They wear misery so well.
Like pouty lips,
And blushy cheeks.
Swollen eyes,
And little mouth noises-
A siren's call.

I'm a ******* ******* at heart.

It's pretty sick
Of her
To humor me like this.
To let me be the joke.

Doesn't she know
That I would sabotage myself
Just to hear her laugh?
Just to feel wanted?
Just to feel worthy?

Just to make my skin feel bearable?

Doesn't she know
She's the movie screen
I project my affections
Onto?

Sniveling silver.

Doesn't she know
She's my one chance
At feeling normal?

At feeling anything at all?

Doesn't she know
I'm tired?

I don't want to wait anymore.

I'm pretty sick
Of myself.
I need her laughter
To drown out the silence.

I'm so uneasy alone.

Their wet eyes are interchangeable.
A series of lips,
Cooling cheeks.
Blue mouths-
And their captivating sounds.
I laugh.

I'm pretty foolish.
She's pretty sick.

You softened me
Like butter
With you sweet words and
Hungry looks
And for a while I really did feel
Coveted.
What a fool I made myself into.

Now you'd say
Now you'd do
I'm insane?
I've been saying
I've been seeing
Dramas in every life
Look how they turn the pages
Switching money as a weapon
Trying to catch up with minds
Believing eternal joy in heaven

Man I cant
Man I ban
Praise yourself in your own land
No one will ever trust your hand
Wipe the dirt flowing off your ears
Straight from your brain, it's worse