we begin.
i am painted pink
and your hands are my artist.

we begin again.
and i might be hurting
and you never notice.

we begin again.
and you are running miles for the both of us
while i am hesitant to take a step.

we begin.
you and i, both shaking, letting go of holding on.

My foolish heart you tore apart
I hate your guts
And all your "buts"

Here is one thing
Real or fling
My heart is yours
My Darling.

yes, loving you
was a mistake but
never has guilt tasted so good
until
"hello" was painted across your lips.

It's crazy to me how you can be blinded by a single person's aura
It's crazy how you can love someone so much that it hurts to even think about not loving them
You let a lot slide
You let life pass you by
Then you look at the time....
You wonder where it went
Where is all that sunshine?
It this a new season? All I see are clouds
A whole year gone and it still feels like day 1
Until I met him
I was once wrapped in this aura that made me believe I was progressing
When truly I was stagnant
You never realize how badly you've been treated until someone treats you better
It's a luxury
What does it mean to be a queen when you've been a servant?
Is he a knight in shining armor?
A blessing in disguise?
Is he just like the rest?
Will he pass the test?
When someone opens a window and shines light on your world... its euphoria
Every day I want more and more of that energy
I need to be engrossed in it
Even though my heart still cries for her first love, I cannot reverse
I don't want to get attached too fast but Ava has an immaculate work ethic...

"Karen, her name's Karen!"*
whispered one to the other,
grinning...
Those married men...
That new intern...

So...
what about loyalty?
what about pride?
what about honour?
what about when you said you'll only have your eyes on me?
what about when you say "you're my one and only"?
gone?
plain old lies?
"They remain...
Just in the name of having fun...
Just appreciating..."
Just asking...

So...
--what about feelings?
what about respect?
what about honesty?
what about "no more lies"?
what about trust?
companion?
"Nothing serious...
my heart still belongs to you,
you're the only one I'll come home to"...
But about loyalty?
Honour? Mine?
Respect?
What about... the rest?...
Just asking...
in the name of FUN...

im not in the mood for meaning or purpose or tears or emotions
not in for all that this time
i want something quick and easy
so i can carry on and you can go back to ignoring me

I met you in the mountains.
Of evergreens and water
lillies. You never said too much
but still I knew.
I've always known that your kisses are
July and your smell is November.

But I am infinite June.
Half way point.

Forever split.

Between the perfection of your touch,
And your inevitable escape.

-Anna Blake