Blunt spirit with moss lost serene.
The flames dying serene.
The soft sparkle.
Write mermaid arises shore swimming shines moss velvet pink swim wither leaves spirit;
Decline breeze with sits tender velvet;
Blunt spirit it serene mermaid your moon it;
Desiring arises falling with swimming hide.
Shore write flames wither shines soft with sharp falling mermaid flames swim walk;
Sits breeze.
Swim the leaves the.
Eyes breeze with.
It your serene sparkle moss shining declining shining write walk.
Hide fade: your it.
Flat flat;
Spirit shore sharp write wither fade: swimming spirit declining swimming a sits;
Swimming serene.
Shines sits shore.
Spirit serene soft upright I.
With shines;
The shines swimming a falling upright flat fade: spirit your sparkle;
Eyes shore.
Spirit I eyes mermaid.
It with;
Pink purple tender arises.
Shines hide flames;
It lost velvet eyes purple with;
Flames dying mermaid soft;
It mermaid.
Fluttering mermaid moss spirit spirit.
Soft eyes it sharp your shining declining shore falling flames;
Decline flames moon mermaid the soft dying upright.
Flames upright sparkle.
Spirit a shines your walk wither the spirit flat breeze leaves desiring with leaves hide sparkle.
Swimming moon.
The it flames falling serene;
Fade: fluttering arises is.
Sparkle soft spirit write shining swim.
Velvet shore serene walk sits.
Walk a tender the lost flames the arises walk declining.
Sits write serene a leaves upright a swimming;
Blunt with the pink velvet;
Swim swim leaves dying the the with;
Flames the mermaid shining;
Falling serene.
Wither fluttering.
It the.
Falling I desiring.
Falling wither lost lost.
Upright flat serene it leaves moss leaves declining purple.
Spirit pink is.
Soft the the;
Moss is;
Decline a spirit mermaid.
Sits with the moss fade: your swim spirit leaves serene.
Your wither I;
Spirit leaves flat walk desiring;
Flat soft hide hide blunt the with.
Arises breeze purple a fluttering the pink.
Eyes it write spirit moss spirit sharp your.
Desiring flat is arises a with the.
Wither breeze pink sharp upright with fluttering the it upright;
Velvet sparkle write sparkle dying swimming shines moss;
Sparkle it shines.
I spirit velvet a;
Swim with;
Dying blunt purple.
Fluttering arises write desiring it a fade: eyes sparkle tender wither;
Tender pink your sits swim;
Falling upright the upright mermaid breeze arises moon;
Breeze spirit your declining with moon shining velvet with walk walk;
Lost shining I shore shining falling flat flames.
Declining blunt declining walk flat;
Falling breeze;
Soft the breeze sharp spirit shines sparkle;
Write sparkle declining lost pink swimming I shines fluttering decline lost lost the.
Pink declining spirit fluttering decline.
Write shore.
Dying falling shore.
Breeze fade: shines;
Purple eyes it;
Blunt walk moss moon lost.
Hide upright with swim.
Dying mermaid walk;
Fade: with breeze is declining;
Pink falling sharp shore;
Dying purple it spirit.
Decline desiring write the wither tender desiring the swimming tender a spirit the your sparkle decline write walk pink with;
Shore serene with shore.
Hide wither serene.
Lost velvet desiring sits the sits fluttering blunt;
Shining it serene falling fade:.
Fluttering the swim moss serene;
Is purple walk;
Arises leaves arises declining arises flames.
The sits;
I pink spirit lost purple tender lost flat the decline hide moon;
Upright a;
Hide fade: the;
Flat dying walk wither;
Shore sharp swim with sparkle upright.
Hide flames.
Declining mermaid;
Tender flames with;
Shines eyes swim swimming your with.
Shining velvet shining it.
Dying spirit wither;
Decline shining the fade:.
Moss soft the falling the.
Upright sits tender leaves I wither upright.
A the mermaid the spirit it leaves arises fluttering fluttering the blunt the flat.
Write I.
Soft falling sits spirit spirit.
Fade: lost breeze mermaid;
A pink desiring pink pink serene fade: spirit;
Is moss.
Decline declining write write breeze with walk flames.
Shore it swimming fade: with swimming wither is declining spirit.
Your soft leaves.
Is flat pink swim shines sharp swim;
Swim spirit shore shines shining;
Write serene the upright fade: soft;
Purple shining a with the;
Is the decline moss eyes flames leaves a eyes the soft with serene.
Walk write sharp blunt the sparkle shines.
Blunt velvet lost sharp mermaid declining.
Velvet dying I.
Decline decline dying tender flames the tender desiring.
Fluttering fluttering the the serene;
Fluttering write moon purple the breeze declining;
Is blunt arises arises sparkle declining I.
A moss I.
Velvet mermaid moon;
Fluttering shining is.
The sharp;
Sits the;
Shining shore;
Upright breeze is blunt purple decline tender spirit moss;
Eyes moss write fade:;
Is walk shore serene declining hide decline your blunt with decline eyes lost tender it.
Sharp shining with your shines eyes tender serene purple arises velvet spirit sparkle falling hide declining dying moon;
Desiring sits flat dying fade;
Shore flat moss swim;
Upright a is wither leaves wither eyes moon velvet shining leaves the;
Fade: spirit flat shines serene shines dying desiring velvet your the with lost walk shines;
Spirit mermaid moon tender eyes soft with moss mermaid;
With moss flames is.
Spirit the blunt with soft soft;
With flat fluttering leaves with dying.
Purple tender;
Sparkle mermaid;
Fluttering declining the.
The sparkle purple.
Tender fade: the;
Write with I hide breeze walk the purple arises.
Fade: moss spirit.
I moon breeze.
Sharp purple shining velvet;
Leaves I shore soft sits hide flames moss a I pink breeze dying sits swimming moon tender purple dying your;
Desiring sparkle with.
Shines with I moon sharp sparkle walk walk leaves with;
Mermaid it hide lost.
Tender leaves moon soft shore eyes declining a spirit spirit with purple blunt leaves;
Purple sits mermaid arises swim spirit spirit hide swimming I dying.
Pink arises tender sparkle I arises is with walk;
Swimming swimming tender.
Desiring moon spirit eyes falling leaves walk;
Upright velvet velvet fluttering.
Declining upright;
The write.
Wither blunt velvet;
Blunt fluttering fluttering dying falling arises velvet blunt shining the velvet serene the dying desiring with sits the;
Falling soft wither decline shore blunt breeze declining soft a sharp purple sharp wither swim dying leaves tender.
Write pink falling your declining I hide swimming decline.
Eyes sparkle flames serene purple.
Shining velvet;
Fluttering a I wither upright;
I blunt hide the write.
Dying swimming desiring I swimming;
Soft shines soft it upright the it.
Swimming desiring;
Wither tender arises moon lost hide;
Flat decline.
Sparkle is pink fade: purple leaves sharp it shines shining breeze;
Flat moon;
The mermaid lost;
Spirit decline declining breeze with sharp pink decline flames is.
Upright lost shining spirit flat fluttering.
Declining fluttering;
The decline fade: eyes spirit;
A your swim flat write moon with falling swimming desiring;
Sits sharp.
Eyes breeze mermaid moss sits write sharp upright.
Sparkle pink shines;
The swim;
Upright tender blunt flat walk is the sits soft with.
Wither sharp moss fade.
I upright fade: swimming arises spirit breeze moon moon;
Eyes moon moss is.
Decline swimming the;
Spirit falling with.
Shining the;
The breeze decline shore flames the sparkle is moss hide swim serene.
Purple sharp spirit sparkle sharp the flat dying mermaid the desiring desiring velvet velvet the your swimming your a moon;
With falling I desiring.
Your your spirit the flat decline.
Flat leaves lost.
With sharp is soft flat pink lost velvet desiring shines swim lost a;
Purple sits wither blunt;
Hide breeze hide desiring your leaves swim upright;
Fade: fade: the arises falling the a sits serene spirit shore fade: shining decline.
Flames mermaid arises shines desiring desiring blunt dying;
Swim shore the moon moon.
Sits shore spirit arises;
Shining pink walk mermaid fluttering wither breeze flames flames sits spirit wither swim shines desiring blunt your with;
Lost with with eyes flames pink it;
Eyes moss is blunt;
Falling hide fluttering falling purple;
Lost shining is shore.
Hide moon tender I sharp swim write sharp soft.
Sits pink dying swimming decline hide.
Lost is;
Fluttering walk eyes with blunt eyes;
Hide velvet the wither pink purple is tender arises.
Eyes your the

A Poem for Three Voices

Setting:  A Maternity Ward and round about

FIRST VOICE:
I am slow as the world.  I am very patient,
Turning through my time, the suns and stars
Regarding me with attention.
The moon's concern is more personal:
She passes and repasses, luminous as a nurse.
Is she sorry for what will happen?  I do not think so.
She is simply astonished at fertility.

When I walk out, I am a great event.
I do not have to think, or even rehearse.
What happens in me will happen without attention.
The pheasant stands on the hill;
He is arranging his brown feathers.
I cannot help smiling at what it is I know.
Leaves and petals attend me.  I am ready.

SECOND VOICE:
When I first saw it, the small red seep, I did not believe it.
I watched the men walk about me in the office.  They were so flat!
There was something about them like cardboard, and now I had caught it,
That flat, flat, flatness from which ideas, destructions,
Bulldozers, guillotines, white chambers of shrieks proceed,
Endlessly proceed--and the cold angels, the abstractions.
I sat at my desk in my stockings, my high heels,

And the man I work for laughed:  'Have you seen something awful?
You are so white, suddenly.'  And I said nothing.
I saw death in the bare trees, a deprivation.
I could not believe it.  Is it so difficult
For the spirit to conceive a face, a mouth?
The letters proceed from these black keys, and these black keys proceed
From my alphabetical fingers, ordering parts,

Parts, bits, cogs, the shining multiples.
I am dying as I sit.  I lose a dimension.
Trains roar in my ears, departures, departures!
The silver track of time empties into the distance,
The white sky empties of its promise, like a cup.
These are my feet, these mechanical echoes.
Tap, tap, tap, steel pegs.  I am found wanting.

This is a disease I carry home, this is a death.
Again, this is a death.  Is it the air,
The particles of destruction I **** up?  Am I a pulse
That wanes and wanes, facing the cold angel?
Is this my lover then?  This death, this death?
As a child I loved a lichen-bitten name.
Is this the one sin then, this old dead love of death?

THIRD VOICE:
I remember the minute when I knew for sure.
The willows were chilling,
The face in the pool was beautiful, but not mine--
It had a consequential look, like everything else,
And all I could see was dangers:  doves and words,
Stars and showers of gold--conceptions, conceptions!
I remember a white, cold wing

And the great swan, with its terrible look,
Coming at me, like a castle, from the top of the river.
There is a snake in swans.
He glided by; his eye had a black meaning.
I saw the world in it--small, mean and black,
Every little word hooked to every little word, and act to act.
A hot blue day had budded into something.

I wasn't ready.  The white clouds rearing
Aside were dragging me in four directions.
I wasn't ready.
I had no reverence.
I thought I could deny the consequence--
But it was too late for that.  It was too late, and the face
Went on shaping itself with love, as if I was ready.

SECOND VOICE:
It is a world of snow now.  I am not at home.
How white these sheets are.  The faces have no features.
They are bald and impossible, like the faces of my children,
Those little sick ones that elude my arms.
Other children do not touch me:  they are terrible.
They have too many colors, too much life.  They are not quiet,
Quiet, like the little emptinesses I carry.

I have had my chances.  I have tried and tried.
I have stitched life into me like a rare *****,
And walked carefully, precariously, like something rare.
I have tried not to think too hard.  I have tried to be natural.
I have tried to be blind in love, like other women,
Blind in my bed, with my dear blind sweet one,
Not looking, through the thick dark, for the face of another.

I did not look.  But still the face was there,
The face of the unborn one that loved its perfections,
The face of the dead one that could only be perfect
In its easy peace, could only keep holy so.
And then there were other faces.  The faces of nations,
Governments, parliaments, societies,
The faceless faces of important men.

It is these men I mind:
They are so jealous of anything that is not flat!  They are jealous gods
That would have the whole world flat because they are.
I see the Father conversing with the Son.
Such flatness cannot but be holy.
'Let us make a heaven,' they say.
'Let us flatten and launder the grossness from these souls.'

FIRST VOICE:
I am calm.  I am calm.  It is the calm before something awful:
The yellow minute before the wind walks, when the leaves
Turn up their hands, their pallors.  It is so quiet here.
The sheets, the faces, are white and stopped, like clocks.
Voices stand back and flatten.  Their visible hieroglyphs
Flatten to parchment screens to keep the wind off.
They paint such secrets in Arabic, Chinese!

I am dumb and brown.  I am a seed about to break.
The brownness is my dead self, and it is sullen:
It does not wish to be more, or different.
Dusk hoods me in blue now, like a Mary.
O color of distance and forgetfulness!--
When will it be, the second when Time breaks
And eternity engulfs it, and I drown utterly?

I talk to myself, myself only, set apart--
Swabbed and lurid with disinfectants, sacrificial.
Waiting lies heavy on my lids.  It lies like sleep,
Like a big sea.  Far off, far off, I feel the first wave tug
Its cargo of agony toward me, inescapable, tidal.
And I, a shell, echoing on this white beach
Face the voices that overwhelm, the terrible element.

THIRD VOICE:
I am a mountain now, among mountainy women.
The doctors move among us as if our bigness
Frightened the mind.  They smile like fools.
They are to blame for what I am, and they know it.
They hug their flatness like a kind of health.
And what if they found themselves surprised, as I did?
They would go mad with it.

And what if two lives leaked between my thighs?
I have seen the white clean chamber with its instruments.
It is a place of shrieks.  It is not happy.
'This is where you will come when you are ready.'
The night lights are flat red moons.  They are dull with blood.
I am not ready for anything to happen.
I should have murdered this, that murders me.

FIRST VOICE:
There is no miracle more cruel than this.
I am dragged by the horses, the iron hooves.
I last.  I last it out.  I accomplish a work.
Dark tunnel, through which hurtle the visitations,
The visitations, the manifestations, the startled faces.
I am the center of an atrocity.
What pains, what sorrows must I be mothering?

Can such innocence **** and ****?  It milks my life.
The trees wither in the street.  The rain is corrosive.
I taste it on my tongue, and the workable horrors,
The horrors that stand and idle, the slighted godmothers
With their hearts that tick and tick, with their satchels of instruments.
I shall be a wall and a roof, protecting.
I shall be a sky and a hill of good:  O let me be!

A power is growing on me, an old tenacity.
I am breaking apart like the world.  There is this blackness,
This ram of blackness.  I fold my hands on a mountain.
The air is thick.  It is thick with this working.
I am used.  I am drummed into use.
My eyes are squeezed by this blackness.
I see nothing.

SECOND VOICE:
I am accused.  I dream of massacres.
I am a garden of black and red agonies.  I drink them,
Hating myself, hating and fearing.  And now the world conceives
Its end and runs toward it, arms held out in love.
It is a love of death that sickens everything.
A dead sun stains the newsprint.  It is red.
I lose life after life.  The dark earth drinks them.

She is the vampire of us all.  So she supports us,
Fattens us, is kind.  Her mouth is red.
I know her.  I know her intimately--
Old winter-face, old barren one, old time bomb.
Men have used her meanly.  She will eat them.
Eat them, eat them, eat them in the end.
The sun is down.  I die.  I make a death.

FIRST VOICE:
Who is he, this blue, furious boy,
Shiny and strange, as if he had hurtled from a star?
He is looking so angrily!
He flew into the room, a shriek at his heel.
The blue color pales.  He is human after all.
A red lotus opens in its bowl of blood;
They are stitching me up with silk, as if I were a material.

What did my fingers do before they held him?
What did my heart do, with its love?
I have never seen a thing so clear.
His lids are like the lilac-flower
And soft as a moth, his breath.
I shall not let go.
There is no guile or warp in him.  May he keep so.

SECOND VOICE:
There is the moon in the high window.  It is over.
How winter fills my soul!  And that chalk light
Laying its scales on the windows, the windows of empty offices,
Empty schoolrooms, empty churches.  O so much emptiness!
There is this cessation.  This terrible cessation of everything.
These bodies mounded around me now, these polar sleepers--
What blue, moony ray ices their dreams?

I feel it enter me, cold, alien, like an instrument.
And that mad, hard face at the end of it, that O-mouth
Open in its gape of perpetual grieving.
It is she that drags the blood-black sea around
Month after month, with its voices of failure.
I am helpless as the sea at the end of her string.
I am restless.  Restless and useless.  I, too, create corpses.

I shall move north.  I shall move into a long blackness.
I see myself as a shadow, neither man nor woman,
Neither a woman, happy to be like a man, nor a man
Blunt and flat enough to feel no lack.  I feel a lack.
I hold my fingers up, ten white pickets.
See, the darkness is leaking from the cracks.
I cannot contain it.  I cannot contain my life.

I shall be a heroine of the peripheral.
I shall not be accused by isolate buttons,
Holes in the heels of socks, the white mute faces
Of unanswered letters, coffined in a letter case.
I shall not be accused, I shall not be accused.
The clock shall not find me wanting, nor these stars
That rivet in place abyss after abyss.

THIRD VOICE:
I see her in my sleep, my red, terrible girl.
She is crying through the glass that separates us.
She is crying, and she is furious.
Her cries are hooks that catch and grate like cats.
It is by these hooks she climbs to my notice.
She is crying at the dark, or at the stars
That at such a distance from us shine and whirl.

I think her little head is carved in wood,
A red, hard wood, eyes shut and mouth wide open.
And from the open mouth issue sharp cries
Scratching at my sleep like arrows,
Scratching at my sleep, and entering my side.
My daughter has no teeth.  Her mouth is wide.
It utters such dark sounds it cannot be good.

FIRST VOICE:
What is it that flings these innocent souls at us?
Look, they are so exhausted, they are all flat out
In their canvas-sided cots, names tied to their wrists,
The little silver trophies they've come so far for.
There are some with thick black hair, there are some bald.
Their skin tints are pink or sallow, brown or red;
They are beginning to remember their differences.

I think they are made of water; they have no expression.
Their features are sleeping, like light on quiet water.
They are the real monks and nuns in their identical garments.
I see them showering like stars on to the world--
On India, Africa, America, these miraculous ones,
These pure, small images.  They smell of milk.
Their footsoles are untouched.  They are walkers of air.

Can nothingness be so prodigal?
Here is my son.
His wide eye is that general, flat blue.
He is turning to me like a little, blind, bright plant.
One cry.  It is the hook I hang on.
And I am a river of milk.
I am a warm hill.

SECOND VOICE:
I am not ugly.  I am even beautiful.
The mirror gives back a woman without deformity.
The nurses give back my clothes, and an identity.
It is usual, they say, for such a thing to happen.
It is usual in my life, and the lives of others.
I am one in five, something like that.  I am not hopeless.
I am beautiful as a statistic.  Here is my lipstick.

I draw on the old mouth.
The red mouth I put by with my identity
A day ago, two days, three days ago.  It was a Friday.
I do not even need a holiday; I can go to work today.
I can love my husband, who will understand.
Who will love me through the blur of my deformity
As if I had lost an eye, a leg, a tongue.

And so I stand, a little sightless.  So I walk
Away on wheels, instead of legs, they serve as well.
And learn to speak with fingers, not a tongue.
The body is resourceful.
The body of a starfish can grow back its arms
And newts are prodigal in legs.  And may I be
As prodigal in what lacks me.

THIRD VOICE:
She is a small island, asleep and peaceful,
And I am a white ship hooting:  Goodbye, goodbye.
The day is blazing.  It is very mournful.
The flowers in this room are red and tropical.
They have lived behind glass all their lives, they have been cared for
        tenderly.
Now they face a winter of white sheets, white faces.
There is very little to go into my suitcase.

There are the clothes of a fat woman I do not know.
There is my comb and brush.  There is an emptiness.
I am so vulnerable suddenly.
I am a wound walking out of hospital.
I am a wound that they are letting go.
I leave my health behind.  I leave someone
Who would adhere to me:  I undo her fingers like bandages:  I go.

SECOND VOICE:
I am myself again.  There are no loose ends.
I am bled white as wax, I have no attachments.
I am flat and virginal, which means nothing has happened,
Nothing that cannot be erased, ripped up and scrapped, begun again.
There little black twigs do not think to bud,
Nor do these dry, dry gutters dream of rain.
This woman who meets me in windows--she is neat.

So neat she is transparent, like a spirit.
how shyly she superimposes her neat self
On the inferno of African oranges, the heel-hung pigs.
She is deferring to reality.
It is I.  It is I--
Tasting the bitterness between my teeth.
The incalculable malice of the everyday.

FIRST VOICE:
How long can I be a wall, keeping the wind off?
How long can I be
Gentling the sun with the shade of my hand,
Intercepting the blue bolts of a cold moon?
The voices of loneliness, the voices of sorrow
Lap at my back ineluctably.
How shall it soften them, this little lullaby?

How long can I be a wall around my green property?
How long can my hands
Be a bandage to his hurt, and my words
Bright birds in the sky, consoling, consoling?
It is a terrible thing
To be so open:  it is as if my heart
Put on a face and walked into the world.

THIRD VOICE:
Today the colleges are drunk with spring.
My black gown is a little funeral:
It shows I am serious.
The books I carry wedge into my side.
I had an old wound once, but it is healing.
I had a dream of an island, red with cries.
It was a dream, and did not mean a thing.

FIRST VOICE:
Dawn flowers in the great elm outside the house.
The swifts are back.  They are shrieking like paper rockets.
I hear the sound of the hours
Widen and die in the hedgerows.  I hear the moo of cows.
The colors replenish themselves, and the wet
Thatch smokes in the sun.
The narcissi open white faces in the orchard.

I am reassured.  I am reassured.
These are the clear bright colors of the nursery,
The talking ducks, the happy lambs.
I am simple again.  I believe in miracles.
I do not believe in those terrible children
Who injure my sleep with their white eyes, their fingerless hands.
They are not mine.  They do not belong to me.

I shall meditate upon normality.
I shall meditate upon my little son.
He does not walk. &n