I live
in the macrocosm
crafted
so gloriously
by my dearest personal
perpetual affliction.
Do you know a way
out of it?
I would fancy having
the luxury
of being surrounded by
alternatives--
prithee, don't reckon it inadequate.
Prithee. Prithee...(anyone at all?)

I ask you what is left to pour besides sand from the everlasting cup?
Desert cracks to remind you of what life use to thrive.
The pieces of you and me.
All that remains is the dust that accumulates.
The ashes of who we use to be.

30 days of isolation
I didn’t know who I was when the world stopped turning.
When the objections that once defined fell flat like a heart line.
The death of the way that was.
  I was no longer written in the way I knew my self.
It scared me.
The way I could no longer sit with myself.
I couldn’t stop running.
The well turned into a drought.
& the rain came only once I cried.
I once lived in a rain forest.
Self-love as heavy as the water embedded on every oxygen molecule.
I asked her to stop.
Couldn’t seem to catch my breath...
But, I guess the point was to never grasp it?

I did not think this day would come
The love in your eyes fades away
Would do anything to fix us
To make you stay

I wonder what you are thinking about
How you actually feel about me
I want the most to know the truth
Parts you don't let me see

I am not sure what's real or not
You are so good at telling lies
Pointless yet I am determined
To break your disguise

I love you unconditionally
Always and forever will
If you no longer feel the same
Why continue to say you do still?

If it's because you are scared of being alone
Can tell you right now you'll be fine
Many girls are just waiting for their chance
The moment you are no longer mine

And you deserve the best
The happiness you desire
Should have known that eventually
Of my foolishness you'd tire

You do more than I could ever deserve
From the start I knew
You were far too good for me
Was lucky just to be with you

I know good things never last
So I do not know why I'm surprised
Guess I was naive to believe
Feelings would never be compromised

Our love for eachother so strong
Was all I could be sure about
Despite ****** up things we endured
Connection remained free from doubt

We went through worst together
Lived to experience the best
It wasn't always easy
Relationship passed each test

Now out of nowhere **** starts to change
No reason I can find
Are you growing apart from me?
Scared I'll be left behind

I am desperate for a solution
Be what you need once more
It seems like you're ready to end it
Halfway out the front door

I love more than I ever have
The harder I try the more we fight
Can tell you're getting sick of me
I can't stop holding you tight

I wish I could behave more like her
Carefree
Down to have fun
Used to have such good times together
Seems like those days are done

Stressed under heavy pressure
Both work to lift the weight
Do my best to lighten the load
My worry makes it inflate

She may not nag
***** at you
I bet if you put her in my place
Years of games and illusions
Would not be as eager to replace

History between us hard
It's filled with so much hurt
I understand why it's nice to escape
Hang out with her and flirt

But you do not know eachother well
Hasn't seen your darker side
I'm sure she has her fair share as well
Secrets and flaws kept inside

You know inside and out
My absolute worst
Can be a lot to handle at times
I will never quit putting you first

I support whatever you pick
You want a break to see how it goes
However long you need
Trying people like shoes or clothes

I do not want anyone else
For your sake I will pretend
Don't want concern to hold you back
You are scared my heart won't mend

I deserve to be permanently broken
All the mistakes I have made
Perhaps the suffering would be gone
If only then I would have stayed

I will forever call you my soulmate
If you leave and never return
No one else could ever replace
Your touch I'll always yearn

Hopefully find your way back to my arms
The happiness you couldn't find with me
Even if I give somebody else my heart
You will always have the key

Poetry.. The bed of repose.

He once thought.. He has forgotten the pathway to the bed of repose, where he deposites all weight of his troubles, uproar, burdens, aches and miseries, a bed of repose where he finds peace, a reflection from the divine stir. But literally not,  cause even a blind man will not forget the scent of his bed of repose, a place where he has no worries of crashing, stumbling or falling.. Despite all the constant tumultuous stir, the gigantic upheaval upon upheaval, Quasi-typhoon from the resulting uproar beneath, aches and miseries, he always creeps, crawls sometimes even rolls and feel his way to his bed of repose. There he lays all his burdens, cause at the end no room or heart is actually enormous enough to accommodate his burdens.