Every way, each day
I am present to see it.
His miracle of being
I the recipient his gift
Awestruck, humbled, blessed
This I understand completely
Though I know not how, or why
I.  This man I still learn to know
As myself, of my self,
Admit having witness his growing
In great measure do I envy him
See his approach at living, being
embodying the kindest soul,
Naturally thoughtful and caring
How he is, has become
A lesson that I do learn from
My little legacy, so far beyond
better than from which he comes
I worry for him as fathers must
But not of him, of life's unexpected
always haunting every person
just out of foretelling, behind any horizon
For this treasure of my life I know
No doubt, to be a person of light
Wits, genuine smiles, listening and learning
His my Son, He is my Hero
I am out done, and yet,
ever the more thankful.
Blessed by You Zieven Lee.
Thank You.  More than you'll ever know.

Daddy,  I heard you talking to that meany, Mr. Suicide
But I don't want you to go daddy!
I don't want you die!
What about me daddy?
What if you make me cry?
I'm gonna miss you daddy
I'm not gonna lie!

I'm so sorry, baby!
You're absolutely right!
What was I thinking, sweety
It'll all be alright
Just for you, my darling
I'm gonna win this fight

Promise me, daddy
That you're not going to lose!
Promise me, daddy
That its me who you choose!
Promise me, daddy
That you'll be tying no knoose!

I promise you, sweety
That its all in the past!
I promise you darling
That its not gonna last!
I promise you baby,
These ideas have been cast!

Goodbye, Mr. Suicide
You just cannot stay

Don't you see
For my darling,
I cast you away?

Goodbye Mr. Suicide
Now my answer is nay

Can't you see
For my sweety,
I toss you away?

I'm proud of you, daddy
Just know this to be true
You're the best, daddy
We can now start anew
Now guess what, daddy
I Love you!

Thank you, my sweety
I love you too!

I’m angered by the way that I am,
Though, I am not angered at myself,
I hate the man that I see in the mirror,
Though, I do not hate the man who sees that reflection,
I despise the person that I am,
Though, I do not despise the person of whom I’ve become,
I fault the illness that controls my mind,
Though, I do not fault my mind for being sick,
I’ll always hold this grudge against you for making me this way,
So why—given all of this pain and hate—do I still hope you’ll love me someday?

Brendon S. Sawyer
2020

I wondered while young
how I'll treat my son
I wont be as cruel of course

His snarling face
an emotionless traits
Evil always lives long.

I try, I try
I've tried I will say
echoing years to dawn
Dare I say
with a grin on his face
father still lives on

I'll play games
and laugh everyday
I won't be as cruel of course

That towering crow
That shivers shadows
Lingers like skin to bone

The deeper I thought
The darker I grew
eclipsing all that I see

I lost my sight of sun
He lost his sight of me

The only warmth I had
The only evil he seen

Do ruins have no end
pain I've absorbed my share.
I lost sight of my son
his grave I couldn't bare.

Of what age have I become
To what love do I belong
lost in my hatred of father
And still I live on.

I walked into that room and saw you’re body lying there,
I barely recognized you; lacking life, muscle and hair.
I looked into your open eyes like I never did before,
and spoke looking at your face instead of averting gaze to floor.
If they asked me to identify or claim, I can’t say that I could,
I never truly knew you or felt the connection that I should.
You were given the curse of cancer,
but gifted the knowledge and time,
but did you ever even think that the answer
could be to reach out your hand to mine?
I had so much I never said,
maybe you had the same.
I’ll remain running the sentences in my head,
but never question if I should feel blame.
For a child to not know a parent is easy as night and day,
as much as I should’ve known you, you should’ve known me the same way.
Now my sister and I are the only ones here,
the only ones with your name and blood,
and it shouldn’t even be a question or fear
if we were ever truly loved.

I'm sorry if I may look rude to you
When I may be cold to you
When I don't show any warmth from me
But you know..

Even if I always act like this
Even if I always look angry from you
Even if you don't see any love from me
You will always be my dad
And I love and proud of you