I made tea today.

I dunked in my
Totally-not-bigger-than-it-should-be-table-spoon of honey.
I poured the milk into the mix
(I know, I know, how could I)

Then i jumped into the cup for an adventure.

Upon entering the steaming silky waters
A school of fish blasted past me

A school....
A class of three thousand people

All looking at me  
The whole world is watching me.

If I fail-
Oh **** what if I fail.

Lost in terror

I smell.

Hmm?

Vanilla spice?

Oh yeah. The tea.
I made tea for the stress.
I have tea.






My tea is cold.




****

You say I’m your rock
Your hero, your champion
I think my cape tore

It was a bright spring day out by the pool
We’d gathered together amidst lawn chairs
To watch

A somewhat portly
Man centered in the water
Swirling like Esther
Incanting
We sipped our ****** wine and smiled cautiously but amused no less.

From the far northern edges came a little
Light haired boy dressed like an angel
Or perhaps the son
Of Poseidon
I think the whole point of this had something to do with Poseidon
Or some other god of the sea
That remained unclear for
Me at least

Needless to say, this was a pool
A little pool with green astroturf surrounding
Piquant with chlorine
Not churning and grey.
Again, to the north stood the child
His son no doubt
Who must have been told simply and repeatedly
Just go to Daddy in the pool
Stand by the side
And he will pick you up
Hold onto your trident
Ok!?

But upon making his move to
Daddy
the child
Misstepped
Stumbled
Fell
And in so doing began to wail
Leaving his otherwise stoic father
Perplexed and annoyed
Astonished
His eyes squinting out the sun
His performance ending before it ever began

Three women rushed to the little wails
The mother scooped her child into her arms
Cradling the tears to her *******
Her attendants ran for vanilla ice cream
The boy now sated
Was resplendent in calm satisfaction

Father left the pool
Make-up running down his wet face
The child ate his ice cream from the bowl
steadfast in his concentration
and seeming innocence
The mother held her little man
The man in charge
We stood up and left for more ****** wine
Perhaps the Pinot.

E., our relationship,
was built with a foundation of cheating.
Started that night.
Little less then two years ago.
I cheated on my girlfriend,
with you.

Now,
The Gods are getting their revenge
Revenge for how I made her feel.

Now you don’t even care about how you made me feel.

***** you E.

Why am I never enough?
Why am I always the one bleeding?
Why is loving me so tough?
Why am I always left pleading?

I am a soul worth looking into too,
I don’t have a lot of visible scars,
I can’t show you what I’ve been through,
But I did fought many wars.

You left,
Desperate cries for help,
Were silenced by anger,
Nothing else was felt,
My wrist was my anchor.

I’ve lost again,
I know,
My efforts were in vain,
Just let me bathe in my sorrow.

Only a weak man would intrude
                    on virtues of another.
For a strong man knows that within him
                 is the virtues of a woman's birth.  

And with out them, he would be nothing.
            Those that intrude on the innocence,  
         have a weakness not of man
but of value and are neither of morality or humanity.

But the sinking ventures of humanities folly.
                For all of creations bindings are
                                but a creation of before.

And even those that are  pure some are always
                              damaged to the point of sorrow.
Never guise all under one brush,  
   because each is a different stroke.

And some are just not meant to be allowed
                                                   to paint a canvass.
          let alone a memory upon another's ever
                                                changing innocence.

I hate myself I wanna die
I hate myself I wanna cry
I find my friends to feel okay
cause I don't wanna be this way

the pressure you give is way to much
and I just want to chill no rush

see if I die won't need to live
my families life can finally begin

they’ll work on the second daughter, she
And shape her into what they need her to be
And once she soars with her success
They’ll claim our broken family is blessed

I told you what I loved to do, and you just didn't care
so why the **** would I share my life and speak to you and bear
out all my feelings on the floor so you can look and stare
and scream the words " I'm disappointed in you" and make it sound real rare.

P.S. I hate science and I'm probably going to fail biology