The children branded Gifted at the ripe age of eight,
Will grow up carrying the crippling weight
Of an expectation stamped on them before they had thought
Of who they wanted to be, who they were and were not
So when the brain reaches limit of what they're capable of
They will think they’ve destroyed all that was worthy of love
And hide from the sharp gaze of Expection’s eyes
Would rather cease than hear the collective parent’s sighs
The Gifted children will never meet authority’s plans
And instead struggle in silence, head in their hands
Believing the sermon that their knowledge is essential
When they crash, they all say, “She had so much potential.”

She was ready to conquer the world, expecting him beside,
But then she realised tide of his trust upon her has dried.
She was considered wrong in everything,
But how can a queen hurt her King?

She tried to prove everyone wrong everytime, he presumed,
And all her efforts to make his family hers was subsumed.
She was ready to change all her vice,
But can self respect be anything's price?

Definitely, she was fierce and revolting in some matters,
But it was not for anyone's bad but her better.
She was expected to change all her bads,
But why in every duo nothing is expected from lad?

When she is expected to trust, why his emotions can be confined to lust?
When she is expected to give every test, why a voice cannot be raised if he is not the best?
When he is revered and honored in her family,
Why she is not being counted in his family's "WE"?

I've been sick for almost a week .
Everything around me seem so inverted .

This bed and my body started to stink of rotten flesh .
And thoughts disappointments made me more miserable .

YES ! I am disappointed
And this disappointment is like a illness
This time it sits inside me .
I didn't get it by my expectations .
I had buried them long ago .

Why did you tainted that beautiful
Fragrance we had .
You've failed in every area to keep my emotions treasured .

At the end ,it is what it is .
And I am getting my pockets full of disappointments without even expecting .

Just because we smile together ,  doesn't mean I am happy .
Everytime i try to get closer ,
Feel that feeling of pisthurism ...
Do you know what I smell ?
Burning faith .

And so I rest

as if every dream that has been




never was to begin with

I held onto something I dreamt up.
and it was warm, alive even-
How could it be a lie?

Every time I leave the place
I think if it’s the last time mum
If I may not make it back at all
Or you may not desire my return
Every time I cuddle up to you at night
I wonder whether in future the bed would be cold
If my heart would know my soul
If my feet would ever be warm
I wonder if I’d have a place at all
Every time I eat meals with you
I try to cherish every bite, remember the taste
For I may never get the chance
Once you know the waste I am
Every time we talk alone
I put a little of me out for you intensely
But pull back a whole lot in, out of scrutiny
I soften the eventual heartbreak I think
Every moment we drift apart
I tell you I love you
Coz if it’s a goodbye, or the beginning of one for good
We would have some memory
Laced with love, fear, and pain for me
For you, with regret, anger, and love maybe
I wonder how the goodbye would be
Will you still love me
Will you still be proud of me
Will you speak with me, or of me
If not, will you let me off easily
If I live, how good would it be
 
Every time you caress me dad
I wonder who you think I am
Who the person is you shower your love on
Who the person is you speak of so proudly
Who the person is, instilling doubt in me
Mocking my existence
Questioning my worth every second
Would you love me, no matter the identity
Every time you bring treats for me
I wonder if you would let my love materialize
If I would get my chance to hold you
To be the one to create fragments of joy for you
If I would still be welcomed at your place
If your arms would still be my niche
And not represent the shackles
I sometimes imagine them to be
Does it make me bad, papa
To even imagine you as villain
Far from the hero you used to be
Every time a father and daughter fill my screen
I wonder if we’d have a happy ending
If I would be allowed to love, and to live
Or traditions would eat me up, inch by inch
I wonder how the goodbye would be
If you’ll regret my existence
Or simply forget me
Well you may forgive me
And continue to love me
I hope you stand up for me
When the society stands against me
I hope you still hold your head up high
When there may not seem to be any reason, but me
Proud of the me I will be, the me I am, and the one I used to be
In case you don’t, let the goodbye be gentle
I may still have somewhere to be
Where deafening silence would prevail, of peace and clarity
Occasionally disturbed by small cries of a beautiful destiny
 
The walls I built around to keep me safe
Don’t promise the things I sometimes crave
I look through the window, the knowns and unknowns
And at times I can feel the life surge closely
The hugs, the smiles, and the experiences go right to my core
Trespassing all the atoms of the bricks, holding promise of more
But I wish nothing breaks these walls
The trade-off of love and safety, I can never knock off
Can’t drop it in favor of love, when I know what it costs
Helpless gamble for me and love
I wonder what the goodbye would be
End of the walls, or endless safety.