everything is so quiet
yet I feel
like I'm falling apart

                                          they said I'd hit the ground
                                                      so hard I could
                                                       barely survive

                                                        ­                    so falling wasn't enough pain
                                                            ­                                now hitting ground,
                                                         ­                        being around while not ok

                                                       I feel so lonely
                                                 and I'm still trying to
                                                            fi­gure out

how and why and
**** **** fuck f///
///////////////uck

                                                    I've­ got no excuses
                                                         ­  and I know
                                                  cutting my legs hurts

                                                          ­                          and hitting my face hurts
                                                           ­                            and holding my breath
                                                          ­                         until I see darkness hurts

                                                 but nothing, nothing
                                                   matters at all now
                                                     that I just feel so

numb

                                                              erratic

                                                    ­                                                             *empty

I question myself and reality.
Finding the worst possible outcome, then a hundred more.
When I feel safe, but then startled, I panic.
I go through the list, I made, of good things…
But, I can’t make any of the words out.
Nor can I speak, But I CAN scream.
I can kick, punch, and bite!
…Because I feel threatened!?
Oxygen fills my lungs.
Only to come out in Erratic, Choppy, Panting breaths.
I pull on my skin, to make sure it’s still there.
The others only give me a migraine.
And, I’ve only been here maybe… ten minutes.
But it felt like a LIFETIME.

& then I die, only to be born again…
                                                                                          & again.

Deep eyes
Irresistible lips
Erratic breathing
Intertwined bodies
Passion of love.

I'm not sure I know
If we are truly honest or not
How can this work out?

RETURN

1) When this is over, return.

2) From the ashes came life

3) To the ashes went death

4) Is there a higher place?

5) How long till I return?

HAVE

1) I have it here.

2) Has it had me?

3) Have. Want. Need. Exert.

4) What do I have?

I don't like being "happy"

Because happiness is only momentary

It's an erratical state

It can last days or it can last for minutes, either way it always ends too quickly.

And then your kind of thrown into that limbo of sadness and melancholy

There isn't a light at the end of this , because your not in a tunnel

You're just there , you're not even stuck because this isn't a momentary state


We're cutting out the *******, ,lets be honest

Life *****

Situations ****

Family ****

Friends , if you can call them that........ ****

There's no such thing as stability,
there's no haven,
there's no safe word
, there's no pause

There's no stopping it

That's just how it is

Its that eternal numbness that just seeps it's way in

as poisons and suffocates the mind

until everything is just ,

grey

and the light loved you in broken moments of eternity