Goodbyes don't mean the end,
For every book, never
truly ends.

Hellopoetry,
I confess.
I have killed a man
who I love deeply

he was driven as the sun
and passionate as a storm
but now he is a sailboat
a vessel waiting for wind

years ago, when we had nothing
but each other, cuddled up
on an air mattress in the middle of a room
I was happy

he died five years ago
those hazel eyes I so adored
with green flecks strong as a rainforest
are now clear cut

was it my finger on the gun?
did I tie the perfect knot of a noose?
leave medication next to the alcohol?
...was it really me? how did I do this?

we have grown so far apart
that I barely remember
the boy who lit my heart ere long ago
who I kissed in the art room
next to my paintings
and I thought he was more beautiful
than any work of art ever could be

I see his shadow sometimes,
only when we're on vacation and he
wanders through trails holding my hand
once again young, shy, playful

and gone again so soon.

i am slipping
heart melting
bury me down
and i won't rise
remember tequila shots
and first times?
our spirits etched
crudely into each other?
and you were the one
to let me go
brought your shovel
entombed us both
i wish i could forget
your smiling eyes
dancing for me alone

Hollow
like a dying tree
alone in the forest where its brethren stand tall and strong
the sun peeking through their canopies of green
casting their shadows onto its blistering bark
cold, dark, rotten
past its prime and waiting for the end

but nestled in that tree is a nest
and inside that nest three bright blue eggs rest
patiently waiting to hatch