...and here we go again
picking up the pieces from a different spot
wiping off those tears
overthinking of what not
trying hard to smile
from noon to night
...here we go again
hugging the empty sheets
which once wrapped us together
now just carries the lucent scent of yours
mocking my breath
delusionally breaking me over and over
within the realms of my heart
...here we go again
being sober yet intoxicated in your love
the madness of reality
awake in my sleep dreaming
...here we go again
with more tears flooding my eyes
and numbing my feelings for you
at this moment, I am done thinking
done..thinking about you.


©Seema Sen, 2023

in my deepest
exhale
i found the
weight i carried
float away
from me
and now
i can finally
breathe

Blissful silence in the dark
Breathing sounds could be heard from afar
As i got closer it got louder
In the pitch black room
All around me was darkness
The breathing got rougher and louder
With a mourn mixed in here and there....
I could feel strength leaving my body
Daring myself to move closer


In the pitch black room
I could make out figures
Looking like an enormous beast
Devouring its prey
Swallowing it whole
I lost the strength to run
Or scream
A shouting heart jolting my trans mind
Like a rolling rock on a steep *****
I Moved forward


In the pitch black room
Right in-front of me ......
A scene i couldn't fathom
Two silhouettes panting and mourning
Even without a clear picture
Even without the sound
One couldn't help but swallow a mouthful
Of saliva
This hunger inducing scene played out
As my heart started racing
A bright light flashed blinding me


In a now bright room
The two seemed unaffected
Like the illumination from the light
Wasn't visible to them
I could clearly see a figure
A figure so thirst inducing
One could mistaken it for aphrodite
And wen she mourned
A sweet melody
Compared to that of the music of apollo
Lost in the beauty of this beauty
And the melody she was creating
I heard a name
As she said it again
I opened my eyes


Opening my eyes to gaze into hers
They seemed to blaze with a flame
One that felt inextinguishable
One that would devour any soul that came close
This beautiful yet dangerous flame
I knew if i went close there is no coming back
Yet a deep sense of belonging came from within
A cold yet familiar sensation was flowing through me
She moved her down my chest
As it moved i felt it.....
For the first time
Pure craving
Like an electric current running thru me
Leaving chaos in its wake


Like a drum-roll
My heart cried out
With it melting the cold sensation
Like a beast unleashed
My body was brimming with strength
Moving my hands towards her
Like a black hole
Like Jormungand
Every cell in me was screaming
Shouting
And scratching
Trying to heed her call
Getting ready to devour her
Swallow her whole
N show her how deep the abyss went

our emotions
are just like
wildfires sometimes
they have
the power to destroy
and consume us
yet sometimes
they have the
power to
rebuild worlds

I know we meet
people for a reason
and every time I didn't
think it was the case,
hindsight proved me wrong
ten times out of ten.

But us? I can't seem to accept
you were a stepping stone,
a lesson, a memory etched
in my spirit only meant to
redirect me to another place.

I just don't want what comes next
without you here to share it with me.

Tell me why I can't seem to
come to terms with us being
not only impermanent
but seemingly forgettable.

I cannot bring myself to let go

Your voice fading
Your touch leaving
Your smile disappeared
Your smell
Your eyes
You.

My smile fading
My mind leaving
My emotions disappeared
My love
My heart
Gone.

Our path ended in a fork
We walked on
Never looking back
I wasn't glowing
You were in the rain
Walking as blood trickled down our legs
Slowly stitching our holes
As we walk...
Further
And further
Away.

I looked back once
To only see your silhouette disappear
But when I looked ahead
I saw the light
I didn't miss you
I missed the moment

I look down to see a puddle of blood
To see the holes in me
You created them
I created yours

The end of the road is where our future began
Our own future.

What appeared to be love
Was in reality nothing but lust
Playing games with emotions creates
Invisible scars that cut deep
Leaving a hole where a heart used to be
Eventually it will refill
Hopefully this time it stays