Wow
What a day
You’re such a beautiful force
My hands froze but they’re so warm
I’m nervous and you know it
I’m willing to go for it
But I can’t
I’m struck
By the feeling of your touch
I tried but was skiddish
You call me out on my intentions
You try to make me feel okay
We laugh and smoked the night away.  
I rather not tell
The reasons why I’m glossed
The reason my head is all fog
I’d rather not pour my heart out again
I’d rather much reside in a friend
But I did what I came to do
And that’s be with you
Your next level sense of awareness
Is something new .
But it’s also your downfall,
Your blunt approach
Surprisingly effective
You’re just like me
But more collected
You’re attentiveness
More selected.
I was shy
You have me shook
You sat there and read me
Like a book

when i wake
i am jarred
and embarrassed
all that i try to stuff away
blooms so beautifully
and freely
in my sleep

my dreams
paint my desires
so honestly
and never tell lies

Fighting that person in the mirror
Flashbacks of your future is what’s feared most
Why couldn’t you standup
Why are you so silent

SPEAK UP !!!!

No one can hear you
Are you really going to allow this to happen
I guess so cause like a coward you’ll crawl back into that bottle
Drink away the Shame caused by pain
Knowing this is temporary satisifation

Here’s your chance to seek help
Although it’s tough and heart felt
As you begin to think to speak
Your drowning in water with stones tied to your feet

OPEN YOUR **** MOUTH !!!
Because you truly need this help
Too embarrassed to say
I stood up walked out because I didn’t want you to find out this way

He's embarrassed,
I'm just too much to bear.
The way I have my body
And the way I cut my hair.
He's embarrassed,
There's a problem in my walk
Even problems in my posture
And the way I like to talk.
I was never really bothered,
I didn't really care...
Until he was embarrassed of
Me, his daughter.
He's embarrassed I go to therapy.
Me, his daughter.
He's embarrassed I have anxiety.
Me.

I guess I'm just too embarrassing...

Cheeks flush,
red lips purse.
Eyebrows, thick and singular,
draw upwards in shock,
scandalized by my very existence.

Born in love,
and yet out
of all else.

I'm not worth anyone's time

Haven't done anything with my life
Always hiding from my fears
Talking too much and being hushed
Everyone looks at me weird

Maybe someone can fix me
You could try
Some day I want to be wanted
Even if it's for a short time
Love will probably never come
Forever alone

I am obsessed with my health. Not just simply my health, but my weight, and my eating habits, and my view on life and myself. I am so obsessed that it has now gotten to the point where it is all I think about, and it has become obvious to everyone around me.

I can tell you which lunch ladies at my school won't question your lunch choices, which teachers will let you sit in their classrooms during lunch because you don't want to be around anyone or food; I have memorized restaurant menus, and I can tell you the meals with the lowest amounts of calories. My photo gallery is full of screenshots of healthy, low calorie, low fat, no-sugar recipes that I intend to make when I choose. I follow 177 eating disorders blogs on Tumblr. One of them being my girlfriend, and I get notifications when all of them post anything new. I weigh myself everyday, I know what I am eating two days from now, I overexercise, and I can tell you how many calories are in the 6 200mg ibuprofen I take everyday before facing the world.

I have lost 20 lbs. That doesn't seem like something worth keeping to myself, but it is when you are a high school girl; it is when all girls think the same, and suddenly when they hear numbers, they want to be number 1; they want to be the lowest, to be the winner, to be the most miserable person.

I can tell you exactly what it feels like to be embarrassed of being in your own skin.

I love giving other people food because I want them to remember that food is good for them. I want them to feel as though being given food is a kind gesture, not a last resort.