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Terra Levez Dec 2020
Missing you comes in waves
And tonight
I'm drowning
i finally feel like sharing the little lines that you gave me because i dont care anymore
J Dec 2020
all your lovers of summer whisper soundlessly
against my collared [owned]
existence.
airy spirits of longing sleep
unseen by anyone
except me,
and yet these
flickers of response aren't
noticeable.
I?
desolate and weak.
my heart remains and feels the sight
like an eternity of bleach down my throat
or glass in my eyes
or fingernails ripped
or neck broke
or burn marks
or bites
or the Judas Cradle
or the Blood Angel
or the Swedish Drink
or White Torture
or disembowelment
or Scaphism
except worse.
The thoughts are whirlwinds,
or maybe whirlpools
because I'm drowning
in the same way that you drown me out.
****
Valarola Nikola Dec 2020
I’m way too close to turning Thirty-Three,
It’s 1:30 in the morning and I’m seething,
I’m surrounded by friends constantly in turmoil,
But **** it if they won’t tell you they’re loyal,
Just once I’d like someone to respect my boundaries,
And not end the day on some B.S. moral quandary,
Debating if I should put someone’s needs before mine,
Because it’s driving me over the edge in my mind,

Everybody will scream “WHY AREN’T YOU HELPING ME?”
While you’re right next to them clearly drowning,
What has this world come to, when no one cares what harm their extra baggage will do,
As long as they’re getting the attention they seek, who cares about me or you?

I don’t want to get older, I haven’t done enough,
Haven’t settled down,  and found my one true love,
Unless you count ******* everything up,
But ah, ***** it some of it’s been kind of fun,
Not going to lie, I’d take back a few of the things I’ve done,
But I’d never take back who I’ve grown up to become,
I’ll end this by bragging that my Mom says I’m quite wonderful,
And as she found out far too late I’m also quite nonrefundable,

Everybody will scream “WHY AREN’T YOU HELPING ME?”
While you’re right next to them clearly drowning,
What has this world come to, when no one cares what harm their extra baggage will do,
As long as they’re getting the attention they seek, who cares about me or you?
It's like on my worst day, when I just want to focus on me, someone is like no, don't do that PLEASE FOCUS ON ALL THIS.
lua Nov 2020
lately ive been dreaming of red
of swimming in the dark
and the roots of trees that snake around my ankles
in the cold
lately ive been dreaming of a shore
of mangroves in the deep of night
and the burning silence that fills the space
fills my ears with water
a peaceful demise
below the surface.
ive been having a recurring dream of being pushed into a dark inky ocean, and trying to swim to safety towards an island of trees. but ultimately, drowning.
Amy Nov 2020
Time never stops
For no one

You can´t keep living in the past
Expecting a bright future

Death is close
Will you dance with him?

The end is the beginning
Will you embrace it?
You cannot run
You cannot hide

It will keep haunting you
Until you cut all the ties

The past is not your home
Not anymore

Let it go

Or you will be drowned
jǫrð May 2019
𝕴 𝖗𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖒𝖇𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖇𝖊𝖆𝖈𝖍
𝕿𝖔𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖊𝖆
𝕾𝖊𝖓𝖘𝖊𝖘 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖋𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖉 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖐𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖎𝖓𝖌

𝕾𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖇𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍
𝕳𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖉𝖔𝖜𝖓𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖉
𝕱𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖈, 𝖋𝖆𝖈𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖋𝖑𝖔𝖔𝖗

𝕻𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖎𝖉𝖔𝖓'𝖘 𝖌𝖔𝖙 𝖒𝖊 𝖇𝖞 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖙𝖔𝖊
𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖔𝖈𝖊𝖆𝖓'𝖘 𝖋𝖎𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖒𝖞 𝖓𝖔𝖘𝖊
& 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖞 𝖈𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖇𝖚𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖇𝖊𝖍𝖎𝖓𝖉 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖊𝖞𝖊𝖘 𝖉𝖗𝖔𝖜𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌
The History:

My mother was a golden goddess in her mind. She would bring me to the beach early in the morning to play in the sand and surf. I remember many times being overtaken by a wave and coming out with an incredible burning in all of my head holes. Though we grew apart, the ocean is deep in my heart.
Vincent Legrand Nov 2020
things are ok
until you’re not

sure anymore
if this particular thing
is part of the everything

that will fall into place
in the end
jay Nov 2020
i mean aren't i supposed to know
where to go and how to feel
what happens? when i'm abandoned.
on this raft in a sea called my emotions
im afloat but my heart is drowning.
i still alive but the sharks are surrounding.
the same sharks that feed
on the broken moments in my head
AS I LAY IN MY BED
i lay, in my bed and stare at the ceiling
convincing myself its okay to be mistreated
is it
and i wish i could be someone. to him to her and to anyone. to you all thats reading this thank you for spending your time reading here. you are loved
The moment that I met you
Was the moment I let myself
Drown in your eyes
And drown in your words

Unable to breath
But not willing to swim to the surface
Scared of losing you?
Or scared of losing myself?

Why am I afraid?
Am I actually suffering?
The cold water is a comfort
Flowing around me and hugging me

Not being able to breath
I can give up
If it means I can be this close to you
And let myself drown in your eyes

The moment that I met you
Was the moment I saw a light
You gave me a smile
And I saw something shine so very bright

You gave me hope
You gave me comfort
You gave me a light

You gave me something bitter and sweet.
Sweet and bitter.
Joy but still fear
Fear of losing myself?
Or fear of losing you?

But why am I still afraid?
Afraid of drowning?
Not really
Afraid of fighting and reaching the surface?
Yes
But why?

Feeling the light slowly vanishing
And the darkness creeping up
Being ****** farther and farther down
The surface farther and farther away

up there
somewhere.

Why can't i swim?
Even though I really want to?.

I want to breath
I want to fight
I want to see and feel your light

But i guess it's too late now
It's dark down here.
The water is cold
And it is hurting my skin

My lungs are filled with water
I'm unable to breath
I am afraid of drowning
Now I know for sure

I should have done this
I should have done that
I should have put my trust in you
And given in to you.

Now I have nothing left
Now I have lost myself
And the worst part is
That I have lost you as well.
Kay Nov 2020
The sensation
drowning
the ocean being myself
trying to come up for air
my own hands
pulling me down
opening my lungs
the waves of anxiety
too hard to breath
trying to swim to the top
the fear to fail to great
too exhausted to fight the waves
I sink
My fight with anxiety.
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