आं उन्दैमोन गुदि फरायसालियाव
गोर गोर बिथ'राइ बिजाब फानोखंआव खिथेबना लानानै
हुरुद खुगाजोँ मटर साइकेल साखावलांनो हानाय।
निसिमा रायजो नाङैनो मुंदांखा नायल' जाल' दतमा गामिनि रनजिद माहाजोननि
"गैया मा खालामनो?" मुंनि टियाटारआ।
सानफ्रोमबो  नङा सम सम मोना मोनायाव जायो एबा दिन्थियो।
गोसो गुदुं जोँ गामिनि बोरायसा बुरैसाफ्रा सोरां बारां ओँखाम जानानै
मोनानाय लोगो लोगो नायनो हांखुर जालायथारो।
गान गोलाव जाथ्रा माबा माबि मानसि सावथुन होनब्लाथाय बारलायग्राखा।
आरोबाव सेंग्रा सिख्लाफोरखौ ओरैनोब्लाबो बुङाब्लाबो जाखासै।
आंनि सानै सनजिमा रनजिमा आब'मोनाबो बाज्ल' लायथारदोँ सानसेखालि
बिसोरनि सेर सेर आरो आंबो खम नङा।
आय आरो आफाया गावसोर नायनो ओँखाराखैब्लाबो आंखौ लाखिनो हायाखै ओइदिनखालि
"नाया मोना गुना,
देनां देरबा नायगोन होन्नानै।"
दैज्लां बोथोरा थांबाय
रावहाबो माय गायबावनांगौ दंब्लाबो बोथोर बारग'बाय।
अदेबानि  मायआ मोदोम गोरलै जासावनाय समसै।
मोनाबिलिनि जानाय लोँनायखौ थाबै जादोँब्लाबो थाबैनो मोनाबावदोँ ओइदिनखालि।
दतमा गामिसिम थांनांगौ जायोब्ला सालगुरि बालागारि मोन्नै गामिखौ बारना
आरोबाव दुब्लि मोनसे बारनांगौ जायो।
मोले मोले लेम आरो खायसे फाथि सिनजायाव अर ब्लाव ब्लाव लानानै
जोङो ज' जयै थांबाय लाफेर माहाजोननि माय दुब्लि गेजेरजोँ।
गाब्र' गुब्र आलि गेजेरनि लामाजोँ थाबाय लांनायनि सोरबा सोरबा गोलैगु लायदोँ।
गालुन गुलुन हाब्रुबो जालायबाय लामा (आलि) या।
जोँनि हानजानि सोरबा सोरबा लेवार बाजादोँ
सोरबा सोरबा गाहे गुहेजोँ हाब्रु गदा गदि जादोँ आथिँफोरा।
आंबो सेन्डेलखौ आखायाव लानानै थाबायदोँब्लाबो हाब्रुजोँ बोकथा जालायदोँमोन।
हराव थाबायब्ला गोजाबो खाथि जायो होन्नाय बाथ्रा दं।
जोँबो जेन' थाबैनो सहैनायसै रनजिद माहाजोननि सायनासालिसिम।
गोजौ जौसांआव दिन्थिनाय जायो
लान्दां फादां फैसालि बोलानो खोबनो थाखायबो जेबो गैया।
अदेबानि दिन्थिनांगौ जायोब्ला फावगिरिया गोजौआव गाखोयो
गावनि फावथिनाया जोबोब्ला गाहायाव ओँखारबोयो फिन उननि दिन्थिनांगौनि थाखाय थियारि जाना थायो।
सौहैबाय जोँ फालोसे मानि मिनि खुसि नायनो थाखाय।
आंबो नुफेरै गथ'ना
नुसिगोन एबार लोगोफोरजोँ सावरायनो हासिगोन
सान्नानै जोबोद खुसि।
नाथाय मा जाखो मिथिगौना?
"गैया मा खालामनो?" जानो गोनां फावखुंग्रिया अरजोँ खामजादोँ।
एसेयावनो थुंगेनायसै सिबाय फालोसे मानि उल्था मोखाङै
गैया मा खालामनो गिदिँफिननांबाय।

Honest John waits In his car.
peaks through his rear view mirror at the glass door. watching.
The engine is off.
cold air nips at his nose and ears.
ice caps cover grass.
the night pitch black
No moon in the sky.
few stars due to the city smog.

A Dim glow from inside the restaurant
Casts shadows in the parking lot.
She hides in them.

Rolling carts march uniform right on schedule
hauling trash to dumpsters just outside.
Honest john watches her slip on a Latex Glove.
*** a cigarette.
She doesn't want honest john to smell the cigarette on her hands.
He doesn't know.

Honest John's Phone buzzes.
He answers.
Told that "work is going late."
She "won't need a ride tonight."
"Won't be home tonight."
Honest John asks where she's going.

"oh, out with my lady friend.
Sarah, haven't seen her since high-school"

"Alright." Says Honest John.
"Have fun." He bit his tongue for the sake of not seeming Crazy again.
It wasn't very honest of him.

She climbs up into red Truck with
The man.
smoke billows out the windows as they screach off howling in the rearview mirror.

Honest John has always hated her lying.

John Loves Crying.
It's honest.
Not just his own tears.
Being the shoulder to cry on is johns momment of ecstasy.
Tears are Beautiful on everybody.
Nobody cries without a reason.

Alone John Smokes Djarum Blacks.

They're the most honest of cigarettes.
Don't paint themselves White
Try passing as innocent or pure.
Just Blatantly say
"Hey, we're way worse for you then a normal cigarette.
"This is slowly killing you"
John appreciates that
even though they're slowly killing him,
At least they are honest about it.

John speaks his mind.
Just as he beleives it.
won't risk leaving words
unsaid again.
but there is one word
he's troubled being Honest about.

Love.

Everytime he doesn't say it.
It kills him slowly.
which would be fine,
if love didn't lie.

i will die.
and when i do,
i will still carry your
burden,
your resentment
and
your cruelty. That'll never leave me,
like the scars that imprinted
themselves into my body,
making a home in this frangible pale skin.
You
marking it vigorously
and demandingly,
like how i used to
like it.
When the darkness
starts to overthrow the remaining light in
my sight,
I
hope that you'll be the last person
I
could catch a glimpse of before i start to
peel and bleed.
The pain,
the anguish
and
the ghastly,
quickly ****** everything into me,
and i'll undoubtedly let them control
my conscience
and destroy the tiny bit of self-awareness that was hanging at the edge of
my uncertainties.
this time,
the time that i'll die,
i'll bring the iniquitous and vile you to the grave.
the you that i had loved
and adored
and cherished
ever so dearly than my own life.
i'll die with them,
and you'll stay here,
with the ****,
and the restless
and the stupid
and the cowards.

and all that's left of you, is the you whose no's are extinct,
whose consciousness' unadulterated,
and the you whose love i never witnessed.

and this time, the time that i'll die, it'll be your death too,
the very moment that your purity cracks, and corrupted by them,
you'd finally understand.

Frozen rage
slices my cucumbers
slashes my prices
(so abysmally low)
the paralyzed contortion of my
dull & depressing
confession bleeds depression
on the scabs
of terminal teenage nihilism.
Listen to me ooze
oh poison world.
I unleash weak venom
(bad free verse)
I despise the birth that lifed me
and ... and...
(whoops - better take my meds and make sure mommy paid my data-plan this month.)

The moon wore Janus masks last night,
Winking and nudging at our daily shenanigans;
Our wrong turns, the vanity of our foibles,
The apprehension of non-events,
Poking at our comedy of errors.
Our youthful angst.

The other mask keeps an eye closed
To our secrets,
The thoughts we cannot share;
Our furcht of past to future
Since our first fires,
Since someone said, You've said too much,
Or, What business is that of yours?
I've buried my losses beneath that mask,
With all the irreplaceable loves and deaths
Of my real drama.

I don't want to be here.
I feel alone, rejected, and betrayed.
But where do I want to be?
That, I do not know.
"You look so happy in all your pictures!"
A picture tells 1000 words, including those of my misery.
"You sound so happy on the phone."
It's because you won't let me not be happy.
I can't be honest with you because you just get mad at me.
I want to be somewhere where I feel home.
Where friends aren't fake, and the drama isn't high school-esque.
"Just muttle through."
I don't know how much longer I can take until I break again.
So, no, I do not want to be here.