Stormy Sea

if on a dark and stormy sea
   washed with cold and spray
i see a lighthouse calling me
   i will gladly turn away
  
want the travail of the wind
   want the cold and spray
harbour is an earthly place
   no place for me to be

If only I knew life was going to be this hard.  Just give us a class please! Teach me that I'll still jump at a slaming door, hiding from my dad under the covers at 22. Tell me that it takes more than 3 lemons to make lemonade. Teacher show me love is way more important than math most days, but some days you still have to love math. Maybe it's good life doesn't offer a crash course. The pressure you get an A would be to overwhelming. I'd crash, of course.

From the time of ash and flame
I have found a life again
Upon the coals and to the top
None shall ever make me drop
Holding fast and standing free
I have found that which is me
A climber
Yes
I'll send it
You'll see

Men with difficulty forgive and forget quickly.
Women easily forgive, but never forget.

To all my demons:
Hello and welcome – back.
My chest is open for your return,
Pining for the familiar pressure
Of your phantom limbs pressed against my ribs
And slowing the blood flow to my heart.
I wonder, has your presence really lessened me?
Has your presence really ruined me?
Because the lower the blood pressure,
The harder it is to gather up
The courage, the steadiness, the willingness
To act on your orders.

To all my demons:
Hello and how are you – today?
I can’t say I don’t think about your well-being
The moment I wake from the loneliness,
Thinking maybe I’ll never get an answer
If you ever stay away.
They say you’re never really fulfilled,
Until you wish upon your enemies
The same happiness you want for yourself;
And here I am in this pit you’ve dug for me,
Floating on my tears,
Hoping in silence for your own freedom - from me.
My own pruning hands will hold the door shut
As I say this,
Hoping you continue to suffocate us both,
Gracing me with your reliable company – daily.

I thought about
what it would take
to be happy and
to sit by the pool,
sipping drinks,
acting sappy and
how much it'd
mean to you, girl,
but I can't just
snap both my fingers
and rewrite my story.
So, instead, I
sat here and
wrote you this love song,
but by the time
it reaches you,
you'll prob'ly be long gone,
sipping drinks with
somebody who
never knew heartache
while my heart
barely beats
on the count of
a new break.

If transparent
a token
promiscuous now
in freefall
and spy
of equanimity
though treason
nigh fortuity
with desire
hone awhile
storm is
lust and
inherently strife
that renegade
spliff come
this ring
of fire.

Half a life
Half a love
Undivided submission;

Half-hearted
I am utterly devoted
To lesser moments.

Between the sheets
The mind drifts
In search of atonement;

Part-time wrong
Entirely yours
An inevitable outcome.

It is living half a life
Accepting half love
Full-time;

My light,
Take me out of the dark

The courage within to say goodbye.