A house always gets

all kinds of defects, well, we --


just live around them.

There she stood
Tall and assured
Charming but not boastful --

An energizing silence
A magnetic pull, all-knowing
Drawing me closer --

A scar I notice
A defect somewhat
An impurity they say --

She cares not to hide it
She basks in it
Pride in memory --

I come to hold her in esteem
Sets her apart
A quiet confidence --

A connection inimitable
I fondly remember
And she revels in remembrance --

I am defective
but I am striving
to improve my self
into my ideal self.

I am flawed
but I am striving
to correct my self
into my ideal self.

I am unhappy
but I am striving
to improve my self
into optimal
joy and happiness.

Deep,sturdy roots that never let you fall,
A bouquet of exquisite  flowers that bring fragrance  in your life,
A chest of treasure that money cannot  buy,
A strong safe that guards your secrets through thick and thin,
An ATM card in dire need,
A support column for your body, mind and soul,
A life saver when misfortune befalls on you.
The most desirable thing about them is that they gift you your defects in order to reform you.

I’m damaged goods, baby
Or did you forget?
Loose-leaf paper crumpled and discarded,
Like every poem I couldn’t bring myself to finish.

This girl comes with a lifetime guarantee
of cynicism and constant apologies
and selfish laziness.
For a low price of only commitment and patience,
you can become proudly entangled in my dysfunction and  constant need for reassurance.

You didn’t receive me shiny and brand new
I have mileage, and I’m not afraid to admit
That most of it is self-inflicted.
I have scars that tell stories
and a schema that has been shaped
by 22 years of poor judgment
and never feeling good enough.

And I can’t help but wonder,
what it would be like if I was stable and motivated.
Would you still get frustrated
when I lay in bed until 3 in the afternoon?
Would I be able to accomplish
all of the seemingly simple tasks
that always feel larger-than-life to this pint-sized girl?
Would you love me more?

I’m jaded, baby
and I think sometimes you forget
that when I’m putting on a face
and trying to be less of a disappointment,
I’m still made of fragmented parts
that have been glued back together
one too many times.