One day, the world for me, will be too blurry, too hazy for me to see.
I hope the haze is purple, for
obvious reasons, but life rarely turns out so perfectly.
I can choose,
I can choose to hollow out my own sight, to have medicine take it's
place,
But what will be of my perspective?
Will it change?
Will I?
I have many questions, and no one seems to want to answer them.
I fear the worst, It isn't the dark I fear,
Just what I cannot see.

Behold my careful stride,
I decide.
I decide.

I test the winds
and waters,
I decide
the fate of of the dwellers.

Carried by an external force,
I decide my inner course.

I've got the pedal to the metal on a highway to hell.
Gotta keep my eyes on the road. Only time will tell.
I struggle and suffer through each passing day.
Gotta change my route, Gotta change my ways.
I see the exits that are off to my right, as each lonely day
shrivels into night.
The hands of the clock aggressively tick. No time to decide, I've gotta be quick.
The exit sign reads "green pastures, still waters ahead". Gotta decide, or else I'll be dead. The sun rises in the east and sets in west, foolishly speeding forward at least I'm trying my best. Ignoring the signs warning "danger ahead!". I've gotta turn off, or else Ill be dead.
So focused, so determined, to barrel ahead.
Why can't I stop? Why don't I hit the brake? Its right there!
Turn off for Gods sake!
"Still waters, green pastures ahead". I rush along as if nothings been said.
"Excuse me, Lord? What did you say?" As I struggle and suffer through each passing day.
"I've told you once and I've told you twice. Is there really a need for you to be told thrice?"
I say "No Lord, the sign is there, I see. No need for a thrice, the problem is me.
The sun rises from the east and sets in the West, you know Lord, at least I'm trying my best."
"Still waters, green pastures ahead". With deaf ears I've heard it all said. Barreling forward. Soon Ill be dead.
"Still waters, green pastures ahead."

I fell off and got up.
I ran away and found more junk.
Nothing's ever fixed and corrected because there's always more problems than what you expected.
But will you understand?
Will you cope?
Or will the chains of past have the last laugh when you made a promise to say no more?

Can these patterns continue or will there be a change?
It seems to me you have an understanding,  yet you act so deranged and estranged.
It's worse than our lockdown,
Yet that gave me more answers then than now.
It's like finding the rhyme to orange and then more and more words begin to pour and overflow, overload, self implode
Then no more...

There's an understanding to our problems and it's like a conspiracy,
We fear it in theory but really is it worth believing?
It's not complex as you think,
But it's not as easy as turning off the sink.
We find ourselves fighting more with our thoughts than the ******* government on what we can and what we cannot.

Understandings cannot be prevented, so fly with it and seek more truth. Otherwise you'll be nothing more than a buffoon. And that's on you...

Moving along in life looking at all the different stalls
I wonder how much it all costs
If I could ever have it all
What about one smile?
What about an extra mile?
What about a first love?
What about the longest hug?
I wonder if I will ever have enough
Everything is so expensive
I only have so little left
Will it really be worth it?
What if It was a waste?
Something I could never get back
I must spend it though
Every little bit must be accounted for in the end
This precious currency
Nothing attained with it can be returned
All sales are final
Let’s buy this one smile
Just one
Oops
Looks like it was upside down.

Good and bad are always housed
Under the same roof
It all depends
On who you make your bedmate