Shades of yellow cast on our dreams
Skin burning through layers of sunscreen
When gifts of foresight weigh on our beings
Let great powers grow evermore carefree

To satisfy eternity.

Empirical evidence against the empire’s truth
Makes humankind akin to a neurotic fool
Who comes to think that it’ll always nullify
Oh for we all must die!

Young and old both playing their games
Seduced by the baits of short-term gains
Unable to afford the bail out of prison
Wait for great powers to relieve this addiction

To satisfy eternity.

Spawns of decadence in the wake of our new tools
Let us deter suicide with the poisons that soothe
They all say everything will fall, to act seems futile
Oh for we all shall die!

Whether in shame or in desire
Must we forget all we’ve acquired
For yesterday’s pride, tomorrow’s glory
Shake hands with friends and slain the enemy

To satisfy eternity.

Oh, spirit of freedom trapped in an endless cycle of foreboding thought

What awaits you in the inevitable, unknowing future?

Shall you be the conqueror of all that finds itself in your wake -

Or shall you be the adventurer, an explorer of this round globe;

Stretching far from the Dinaric mountains to the East and West alike

Does your freedom, forged from being lost and in an endless search for yourself

Allow your heart to love and to be loved? Will it open the rune sealed treasury;

Of your soul that lies so deep within the depths of Tartarus in your chest?

Oh, spirit so unnaturally free, forsaking yet never forgetting all that has passed

Shall your Pandora’s box remain unopened, awaiting for the ageless dream;

That shall decay it into dust and air, and return it to the fine Earth and stone;

That has given birth to so many of spirits upon its accursed soil?

What really is your freedom, spirit;

What is your secret?

Are you truly free, or only in nature and eternal wishes to fly like a phoenix;

Yet are chained to your own core, unable to move a single inch farther

Than where you already are?

Tell me, spirit;

What is the price of your freedom?

Does it require payment of flesh and blood from your own vessel

Or perhaps a surrender of soul to the ungraceful, to await an end

Within the fiery pits of Hell, clutched in His inescapable grasp?

Shall you, invincible and undaunted in your quest to see all that is to be seen;

To live all that is to be lived; To feel all that is to be felt;

Surrender your entire being to eternal suffering and torment;

A split second of clairvoyance exchanged for an eternity of blindness?

If to be lost is to be found;

If to be blind is to see;

If to be dead is to live;

Then tell me, spirit –

Are you truly free?

I danced and, and ****** and sang
like some kind of a warped god,
like I owned the night,
pretending tomorrow was
a decade away.
And when the morning proved
too much to bare...
I danced and drank, ****** and
sang all over again.

Some of us, few of us,
Maybe he and  you,
and certainly me too,

Carve our worlds,
Different worlds,
Wanting, desiring,
Seeking the different.

Dark, gloriously different,
Decadent, wild and free,
beautiful to you and me.

Something elusive,  exotic and maybe ******,
mysteriously something out of the ordinary.

Sometimes we find it,
Sometimes we do not,
And we continue seeking the different,
It’s so achingly sought.

Woke up,
Had existential crisis,
Went home to bed.

Woke up,
Held hope in my hands,
Had existential crisis,
Went home to bed.

Woke up,
Held hope in my hands,
Saw God tread on an Ant,
Had existential crisis,
Went home to bed.

Woke up,
Tried to be better,
Held hope in my hands,
Saw God tread on an Ant,
Had existential crisis,
Went home to bed.

Woke up,
Saw God tread on an Ant,
Tried to be better,
Became a victim of my own humanity,
Held hope in my hands,
Had existential crisis,
Went home to bed.

Woke up,
Watched the sun rise,
Saw God tread on an Ant,
Tried to be better,
Held hope in my hands,
Became a victim of my own humanity,
Had existential crisis,
Went home to bed.

Woke up,
Saw God tread on an Ant,
Succumbed to darkness,
Tried to be better,
Became a victim of my own humanity,
Held hope in my hands,
Had existential crisis,
Watched the sun rise,
Went home to bed.

So I shall no longer defend
New kinds of love that you invent
Ever-changing list of demands
Keeps contradicting its own commands
After the sin quick to repent
With brief engagements in descent
Straighten all that you have bent
Amend what you're yet to amend
Letting those you left all depend
On your attention already spent
At each new encounter decadent
Your passion wasted on random men
Though fell, kept grace, that's evident
For what it's worth your growth is imminent

I wanted to write a poem
because I wanted to test
the integrity of life
when life tests
the integrity of me,
indulge in decadence,
and create a travesty
out of society;
fall in love, like a skylark
does with his sesame seeds...

and it was not until after
I have written
did I realize
I have not written at all.