I think of the nights in your car.
Watching the stars.
I pointed out the ones that fell,
While you watched me from the driver's seat.
One night I saw three,
Set ablaze by gravity.
I silently wished upon them
For it to always be that way.
You telling me such sweet things.
Making me feel wanted and understood.
Sliding your hands through my hair.
Fingertips dancing across my skin.
You didn't pay attention to
The falling rocks,
You watched as my heart fell
From the sky and right onto your lap.
You were the one person
That made the world disappear.
Now we're strangers.
You've hurt me like I've done to others.
Past pain floods in my ribs.
I suppose the tears
Are just the ones I owe.

Success is not a standalone gain
Nor your own crown: ye alone, not pride
For the sweat and toil of a collective whole
Who, in adversity, stood firm, by your side.

You will be hated
Tormented through time

Importance granted
Debt to be paid

Leech, your meal will end
Not another free drop

Your abuse and hate seen
My tolerance burnt

Now listen or don’t
Your reaping has come

I will name you
Christen you:

Blight

One life
Two life
Three life
Four

I thought I knew
I plan and pursure
But when its almost here
The finish line falls
And is no where near

My college ends my program
Now what do I do?
Do I start elsewhere
Or end my pursuit?

The second choice of 42 thousand
After talking with them its up to 84
But what about life and living there?
Well now its 115 and my hope fades away

That cant be impossible
There must be a way
But after some thoughts
I realize the cost

Maybe elsewhere,
Perhaps more near?
Well thosell cost less
But wont be the same.

Do I drop the thought?
Do I end it here?
Perhaps theres no need
Perhaps theres a way


I think and I think
More and more
About just what to do
Because we are poor

We arent poor in love or happiness
Thats what family and antidepressants are for
We arent poor in money either
But once experienced
Its hard to change

We arent rich
But we arent poor
So why is money
Still the deciding factor?

School,
College,
University
What ever you call it, its all the same
They just want your money
And to boost their fame
At what expense
What do you have to pay?
For a modest job you probably wont like
Only the 1 in 3 chance of taking your life
Perhaps not perhaps youll win the fight
That 1 in 3 college students fight.
Well if you win and if you fight
Now comes the problem of paying for life
The debt it gives is so substantial
That they lie and say its just circumstantial

Perhaps their right
Perhaps thats the way
Just dont go
And regret it for life.
But maybe not
Maybe youll make it
And one day become famous
And be adored both wide and far
Just to be pushed further inside
Where only you will see
The pain and agony
Put on by society

That is until one day
They wake up and find
How you truely felt on the inside

You had it all
So much to live for
And no reason to die
But now your hanging there
Like Robin Williams who never said
Good Bye

No matter how much strength of yours is kept
It always comes back down to whom you know
For every time you think you are adept
The caws of meritocracy doth crow

Americans have dreamt in dreams of gold
High hopes upheld with promises of clout
By working hard there’s fortune to behold
Lest lack of means cause gatekeepers to doubt

Yes, push that rubble up the sacred hill
To watch it fall and tumble to the depths
For all eternity it is your will
To pay with sweat and blood for all your debts

Perhaps if only there were something more
To lifting destitution from the floor

I'm a teenager with depression
And I'm starting to have a **** ton of aggression
People tell me to shut up
And then they wonder why we don't consult

Look, I hate myself
And you likely hate yourself
And that's the joy of being in a world
Where we all get burned

I got crinks in my neck
And a back that is a wreck
Working too hard
So colleges see me as being "smart"

I have a noose on my fan
And a gun I got from a man
I've started to fantasize about death
But I know all the paperwork will be a mess

People see a breakup
And say "oh just wake up"
When adults get into a breakup
They become vacant

Why is my pain any less
Just cause I don't have any debts yet
I'm a teenager with depression
And I'm starting to have a **** ton of aggression