I did underground fighting in my twenties.
I wasn't one for fists but two machetes.
The rules were you could only slice,
without damage such as their eyes.
Stabbing was out-lawed as blood would fly.

I could somersault and twirl around,
I would tire opponents that were bound.
The rule was just one slice for the victor,
I took it easy on the losers with a tiny finger
simply, a little bit sliced not needing stiches.

I only did it for the money and my demons
but truthfully not the blood was my intention
Just the fame and a win with just one slice
They called me The Machine, kinda nice.

Someone once said to me, to live forever,
You have to be a warrior or a writer.

I wish I could erase the thumping,
when I go to hospital of the beats.
I get in immediately,
in a  wheel chair.
I feel sorry for the patients,
In the horrible corridors
that didn't abuse their bodies
like  it wasn't fair.
167 beats a minute,
taking my blood,
and an xray.
The pain below my heart
I can always feel with a finger,
is my liver that's being destroyed.

I hope it will be soon.
I never wanted to live
past the age of fifty.
I will and I will refuse
A new liver to survive.

I just want out of here.
This world was built of fear,
but I feel nothing but for the children,
who will have to live like hens.

And who knows but I know.
and it ******* kills me.

Moon soot

There is a citrine moon
hanging in
a starless
sky.
It eclipses
over
the tops
of trees
the dirt,
grass
and every
hollow thing
that roams
during a night
like this

It looks as if
it waters
everything,
that is dark
with crystal
tears, to feed
this twisted
valley.

I long to touch
all the darkness
that's shattered
across the places
one dares
not
to
go.

Where whispers
have
no
echoes.
Where
your
soul
is
wrapped
around
my
own.

The deepest
parts
of your
mind
that
are
hidden
beneath
the rug,
sheets
and
bed.

Let me
roll around
in your
dirt
and
wet
red clay.

Spread my hands
to touch
things that are
too afraid to
seek
the
piercing
light.

I want
to cover
my
body
in
your soot.

Get
my hair
matted
with ash
that's been
left
behind
in
your
lungs.
From all
the years
you've smoked.

Darling,
you've
embraced
the shadow
that's a part
of what
makes me
still
your
woman.

Now
I won't
let
fear
stand
at the
gate

I welcome
it in
the toad,
and
driftwood.

Let me
in the
puddles
of mud
where
you hide
from
even
yourself.
There,
we
can
be
whole.

Its the impossible mission
to be with my girl-friend,
I have have to totally
wipe out the other family.

I arrive at the mansion,
there are at least 30 guards,
I see a window that is open,
I'm guessing opened by a child
who wanted the fresh breeze.

I  silently pop four arriving guards,
and lift up this window
A little girl is reading dis-armed
She's been called for dinner.

I tell her that I won't hurt her
just go to the family room,
My vision is becoming a blur
The red blood from a broom.

I arrive with the daughter,
the head boss stops slurping
all of his lasagna

He knows who I am,
He murdered my family
He pleas for his kids,
I'm not here for your lambs.

I would have killed him there,
but how can I in front of a family,
I made a deal with this man,
Protect my girlfriend
and you will never have to run.

Sometimes, you have to keep your enemies
close and make a cold deal not so easily.

These idiot mafia fiends
are drinking in the playground,
Great role models the kids see,
as they see them fondly find
the **** little thing called a car key.

I wait patiently
under an oak tree,
They finally move on.
I'm thinking
of a future son,
with my girlfriend.

Getting out,
is not so easily.
They'll give me,
an impossible mission.

I follow them about 1000 meters
and then I stand patiently,
and head pop all these creatures,
who mean nothing to me.

I swing past in circles
dodging the bullet hell,
and sneak behind a pillar,
This room won't be my cell.

I use a small mirror to see my foes,
and rapidly take them out,
One piercing bullet bursts a nose
I quickly take out the others about.

Try sneaking on this professional,
my twisting flows are like ballet,
spinning round with an after-glow
Blood flows like mayo in my salad.

Forgive me, oh father,
I have just killed a man,
and I don't feel bothered
and emotions don't run.

Am I psychotic
with blood thirst?
Or a realist
simply dealing the hurt?

My contracts can run hot
with a challenge to my eyes,
I have scars where I've been shot,
but I fire back with no cries.

Blood frenzy, oh father,
A demon is within,
An omen to my mother,
Confessing my sins.

Graves where my family will lay
As birds shoot across the sky
The fleeting beauty outstretched
Wind crashing the ticking clock
Knowing I will join them soon
Beginning as we ended things
Torn and faded beaming with colour
Filled with so much character
Every imperfection chasing after the other
Palms with lines I know like the roads
Which I have wandered since I can remember
Giving me something to hold
Through this black and blue
Hot and cold
Love and cavity
Depression and vanity
Truth and reputation
Senseless *******
Craving anything but you
Wanting nothing else
Joyous sounds beautiful images
All the luck in the world
Couldn’t make me want more
Just finished my coffee
The last sip was cold
And I found a hair at the bottom
Not that important to be honest
Everything is worth the torture
Which is beset on each and every one of us
How natural to not feel enough
As the sky pierces through temptation
Not knowing what you’re chasing
Just trusting the feeling
Buried so deep inside your gut
Along with your body clock
Knowing when to wake up
Holding onto everything
Letting go of everything
Fearing everything
Trusting everything
Killing everything
You keep looking
For the answer you seek
The journey so long ahead
Living inside your imagination
Alone more than before
Maybe you always were
Just not those times with you
When the world seemed to stop
And we seemed for once in our lives
To have understood why we are here
Such purpose glimpsed for a moment
Until we had walked enough
And my feet hurt
Having reached where we set out
Tired from talking and squeezing
Letting go and taking flight
Saying goodbye with anxious kisses
Not knowing what lay on the other side
Although that wasn’t what made it hard
The unknown is a certainty
What I was dreading was knowing
My time with you made me happy
And together we had fun
For while it lasted
You made me so happy
And all the time spent otherwise
For those moments with you
Made everything else seem impossible

The overcoat,
ciggie from my mouth,
and then the arrival,
of all of your goons.

The bodies dumped,
the old and the youth.
Their skills of survival,
lead them to their doom.

I was packing a 44
from a tour of war
I'm hired as a mercenary
and took out your army.

Now, I don't ****
women or children.
but a decent bill
can turn me double agent.

I work for money bills,
against your horse's will
I don't miss in a crossfire
and I will jump barb-wire.

Hire me more of the dough,
to go up against your foes,
You are all gangsters in my dead eyes,
Fly me the green and your enemies will fly.