The storm is brewing, the wind picking up
The lights flikkers, lightning strikes.
  
                             Anger - pain - fear - guilt
Swirling emotions: tossing & turning

At long last there is peace, but for how long, for we are merely in the eye of the storm.

The calm in my soul won't last much longer
when the storm reappears I fear for it's angers.

What damage will I leave in my wake, be it within my self or others.
For it is always those who care most that get swept up into the storm.

The boy who loves me wonders why I won't tell him I love him. I don't tell him because of you. I don't tell him that I was scared to love and you were the one who made me do it. I don't tell him that I didn't want to open my heart to you but I did because you made me believe that you would never leave. I don't explain that the reason I flinch when people get close to me is because the only touch that I can feel is yours still lingering on my skin. I don't say that before you I didn't see a future until you forced me to picture one that I wouldn't ever be able to experience. I can't tell him because I'm still choking back the tears that I held in when you walked out of my bedroom and shut the door. You got so angry that I didn't open up but once you plied me open you left. And now I'm broken like your phone apparently was the night you were with the girl that made you lose your love for me. So maybe you could do me one ******* favor, and try to explain to the boy that really does love me why I can't love him back.

I don't think you have the slightest
about the alarm that goes off
when your arm brushes against mine.
It says WARNING.
Be careful.
Just too close.
Like the lady at the museum,
who wore wild red curls,
that extended and gripped the viewers
who were centimeters away from the paintings.
"TOO CLOSE!"
So when you grabbed me,
and ran miles around my mind,
before I had to moment to find
the courage to say- "I think we're going too fast,"
My heart would have told you with every
song it skipped.
My spotify woud have told you that I was not ready.
Because every second I spend alone
is occupied not with thoughts of you-
I'm sorry.
You're new.
But thoughts of the many daggers that have be thrown
into my bones.
And you're not him, thankfully.
But I'm so very sad about that too.
I know your shoelaces will stay tied.
I know you're in it for the ride.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
For keeping him off my mind for few moments.
I'm sitting in my room,
thinking of how many kisses he's consumed.
****. ****. ****.
Why did he fit the bill for me?
You're beyond that entirely.
Why don't you fit the bill for me?
Am I only drawn to beatings?
Have I tasted so much defeat,
that I can't ever allow myself a victory?

I'm lost and I'm scared and I'm sorry you are there.

You’re like a King without a Queen
Sleeping without a dream
Thinking your brave, but all you do is scream.
See if I care
Now isn’t that fair.

So pick your poison
And take a sip
It’ll be over, in a bit.
See if I care
Now isn’t that fair.

Searching for love without a lover
Dancing without a melody
Giving up before it beings.
See if I care
Now isn’t that fair.

Burning in water
Like a dove without wings
In a sky without stars.
See if I care
Now isn’t that fair.

Singing without a song
All you do is run in circles
Living without breathing.
See if I care
Now isn’t that fair.

See if I care
If once upon a time
All you do is leave
With the tears of the sun.
See if I care
Now isn’t that fair.

I gave you all the power to destroy and **** me,
and piece by piece you mutilated me to debris.
You left more than a bad taste on my tongue;
and you forced stories within me to go unsung.

While I held onto your toxicity I failed to grow,
but once I'd fled your ghastly hold, I began to glow.
I stopped being a **** and grew my petals,
I blossomed into a beautiful flower while you remained a stinging nettle.

Now the tastes of alcohol and cigarettes no longer
remind me of you in the way they once did. No, I'm stronger.
The things you did to me are memories that have stained,
but I will not let you define who I am; by you I will no longer be drained.

My heart tries to hide,
behind that tall fat tree,
where we used to play
in the tempered evenings of may

Now the leaves are dry
birds don't sing on its branches
but the tree still seems alright
and I can hug you tight

People have made a fool of us
chopping your branch
and piercing our hearts
I want you to hold your breath
while we play one last game
and the three of us
will hang till our **death

Please don't touch me, sir
I know you mean no harm
No, you cant hold my hand
Or stop this car
Please don't love me, sir
I know it doesn't look hard
But when you take away my clothes
You'll see the scars

You took the parts of me
That weren't all that pretty
And you turned them into a damaged city
You tore away my flesh piece by piece
And I walked home alone
In a damaged city

I sit upon a curb waiting for a bus
That may never even come
I am the girl they call broken
Damaged goods
Because I love to the point
That love is taken from me

I sit here waiting for that bus
Wondering if you were looking
Foreword to seeing me

A boy walks by holding a bag
I couldn't help but to wonder
if there is someone out there
waiting for him like I am waiting for you

Nerve's kicking in
Stomach turning
Tapping my fingers upon this screen

I have so much to tell you
But can't think of the words to say
Because I sadly tried to end my life today

I finely reached the bar
where supposedly you would be
Im now sitting here waiting
hoping helplessly that you'll find me

Checking my phone repeatedly
Still no text to see
This damaged goods
Is arching from
Her head down to her knees