I don't think you have the slightest
about the alarm that goes off
when your arm brushes against mine.
It says WARNING.
Be careful.
Just too close.
Like the lady at the museum,
who wore wild red curls,
that extended and gripped the viewers
who were centimeters away from the paintings.
"TOO CLOSE!"
So when you grabbed me,
and ran miles around my mind,
before I had to moment to find
the courage to say- "I think we're going too fast,"
My heart would have told you with every
song it skipped.
My spotify woud have told you that I was not ready.
Because every second I spend alone
is occupied not with thoughts of you-
I'm sorry.
You're new.
But thoughts of the many daggers that have be thrown
into my bones.
And you're not him, thankfully.
But I'm so very sad about that too.
I know your shoelaces will stay tied.
I know you're in it for the ride.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
For keeping him off my mind for few moments.
I'm sitting in my room,
thinking of how many kisses he's consumed.
****. ****. ****.
Why did he fit the bill for me?
You're beyond that entirely.
Why don't you fit the bill for me?
Am I only drawn to beatings?
Have I tasted so much defeat,
that I can't ever allow myself a victory?

I'm lost and I'm scared and I'm sorry you are there.

You’re like a King without a Queen
Sleeping without a dream
Thinking your brave, but all you do is scream.
See if I care
Now isn’t that fair.

So pick your poison
And take a sip
It’ll be over, in a bit.
See if I care
Now isn’t that fair.

Searching for love without a lover
Dancing without a melody
Giving up before it beings.
See if I care
Now isn’t that fair.

Burning in water
Like a dove without wings
In a sky without stars.
See if I care
Now isn’t that fair.

Singing without a song
All you do is run in circles
Living without breathing.
See if I care
Now isn’t that fair.

See if I care
If once upon a time
All you do is leave
With the tears of the sun.
See if I care
Now isn’t that fair.

I gave you all the power to destroy and **** me,
and piece by piece you mutilated me to debris.
You left more than a bad taste on my tongue;
and you forced stories within me to go unsung.

While I held onto your toxicity I failed to grow,
but once I'd fled your ghastly hold, I began to glow.
I stopped being a **** and grew my petals,
I blossomed into a beautiful flower while you remained a stinging nettle.

Now the tastes of alcohol and cigarettes no longer
remind me of you in the way they once did. No, I'm stronger.
The things you did to me are memories that have stained,
but I will not let you define who I am; by you I will no longer be drained.

My heart tries to hide,
behind that tall fat tree,
where we used to play
in the tempered evenings of may

Now the leaves are dry
birds don't sing on its branches
but the tree still seems alright
and I can hug you tight

People have made a fool of us
chopping your branch
and piercing our hearts
I want you to hold your breath
while we play one last game
and the three of us
will hang till our **death

Please don't touch me, sir
I know you mean no harm
No, you cant hold my hand
Or stop this car
Please don't love me, sir
I know it doesn't look hard
But when you take away my clothes
You'll see the scars

You took the parts of me
That weren't all that pretty
And you turned them into a damaged city
You tore away my flesh piece by piece
And I walked home alone
In a damaged city

I sit upon a curb waiting for a bus
That may never even come
I am the girl they call broken
Damaged goods
Because I love to the point
That love is taken from me

I sit here waiting for that bus
Wondering if you were looking
Foreword to seeing me

A boy walks by holding a bag
I couldn't help but to wonder
if there is someone out there
waiting for him like I am waiting for you

Nerve's kicking in
Stomach turning
Tapping my fingers upon this screen

I have so much to tell you
But can't think of the words to say
Because I sadly tried to end my life today

I finely reached the bar
where supposedly you would be
Im now sitting here waiting
hoping helplessly that you'll find me

Checking my phone repeatedly
Still no text to see
This damaged goods
Is arching from
Her head down to her knees

I'm okay,
I'm just fine.
And I'll say whatever else
I need to keep you around this time.
I'll say all's well,
Life is perfect now.
And I'll hide behind a smile
Because you always loved that best.
I won't pry,
I won't fight.
And I'll keep the decay from sight,
For I'm dying, and you're lying.
There's no love here,
Not while we're both alive.
lmt

tell me why I always fall for
the skinny boys with long hair
dark eyes and strong arms
they’re always hiding behind a veil
of fun & frolic
always looking for acceptance
in the world where
they feel like a stranger
always outside the candy store
they never had enough toys as kids
and they’ve never gotten over that
they crave the luxury life
and they’re doing everything they can to get to it
but they pretend like they never wanted it

beautiful boys with beautiful souls
beautifully broken, that is,
they suppress their emotions
until it comes out in
boiling rage and hot tears
they never fit in
they know that better than anyone else
and even though they claim
to be proud of the whole ‘lone ranger’ persona
all they’ve ever wanted is to fit in with the crowd

tell me why I always
fall for the damaged ones
there’s something about
the way they’re messy inside and out
scattered all over the place like stars in the night sky
lacking love & attention
they’ll stick to anyone who looks their way
“I need you”
is a line I’ve heard oh, so often
they’re fooled by the thought
that love,
and only love,
can save them from the torture
of this world
all too ready to become a husband and a dad
just because what they’ve always lacked
is unconditional love
and they’ll take whatever they can get
inside, they’re still just little boys
waiting for their mommy to kiss them goodnight
the kiss that never came

it’s funny because they think
a teenage girl
is what they need to fix
their deep rooted problems
as if my kiss
will be an adhesive for their
broken soul
as if my arms around them
will keep them whole
when I, myself,
have not been able
to fix my own world

tell me why
I always fall for the boys
who taste like impossible dreams
and burnt hopes
deer caught in headlights
reality is seeping in
and they can’t handle it
they have so much they want out of life
and things never seem to go their way
but, ah,
when their mouth is on mine
I swear I couldn't care less
they could be devils of the night
but their hands on the arch of my back
feel so right

I fall for the ones who stand out
and then wonder why my life
is such turmoil
when my ideal has always been
the 4.0 gpa star of the school
tell me why
I always fall for the school reject
when I know
it’s never going to be enough
it’s never going to last

but, hey,
who cares, right?
live and let live
and don’t ever consider the fact
that the reason I fall for them
is because they remind me so much of
**myself