So I'll write about you.
A lot of feelings I denied about you.
Every other night I fight about you.
Got a lot of pain inside about you.

Not enough crying I do.
A lot of ******* hiding I do.
A lot of ******* lying I do.
Last night I tried to cry about you.

So let me write about
everything you got me tight about.
The petty things you wanna fight about
but all my heavy **** you making light about.

Always got insight on **** you wanna be right about.
You focus on, who's right and who's wrong
that's not even what the fight's about.
I know, you want me to be quiet now
because I got your *** on trial now !

I know that "hot seat" got your *** on fire now !
I done brought it to the table
time to dine now !
I know what you're feeling inside now.
I'm ******* up your pride now
but keep that energy, why you being biased now ?!

I'm done "letting it slide" now !
Ain't letting **** fly
I'm done playing pilot now !
See, you done sold a lot of dreams
but I ain't buying now !
And you done told a lot of things
don't be quiet now !

So, after I write about you
after this, fight, about you
and after all this crying I do...
tonight I won't cry about you.

Those were not my tears,
they were memories streaming
that I can't get back

1:09 AM
2/6/19

I won't be cryin' anymore,
Like time and time before,
I've cried my eyes out for thieves, cheats and ******,
and I won't be cryin' anymore.

Don't you ever look into my eyes.
Not even to say goodbye,
If you look, you'll speak and I know you lie,
don't you ever look into my eyes.

'Cause my pain is mine and mine alone,
In time I hope will go,
And it doesn't glow through the smile I show,
No, my pain is mine and mine alone.

And I won't be cryin' anymore,
No matter how low I fall,
With a manic smile I'm entering the storm,
And I won't be crying anymore.

I can’t count on my ten fingers
All the ones who have held me while I cried
Which means very little
Because I know I cry a lot
And I know most of those boys
Would have used any excuse
Just to get their hands on me

Soma that seeps
flowing
like little creeks
sprinkling
off the edge
wetting
a tongue outstretched
watering
wilted flower beds
feeding
that pretty head
cycling
arid to wetlands

I know you still love me,
I can hear the tremble in your whisper,
For what crime have I committed,
For what lie am I a sinner?

I can feel you falling,
You’re afraid of tripping again,
But I’ll catch you this time,
So let’s start from the end.

I can feel all your pain,
Through your words filled with tears,
You’re attached to the Train,
And your ticket is fear.

I’ll love you until the end,
No matter the path you choose,
You ask why you're perfect to me,
And my answer is you.

I believe it’s still within you,
You’re holding back your emotions,
Please give yourself some love,
And I’ll be the one to hold it.