She prides herself an hourglass
yet never long enough, this body of time.
sharing conversations,
you'd otherwise be sharing with the wine.
It made the day's last leg's cross over
in my mind.

Be more than only snapshot dearest friend.
You are a focus in the lens, who lends
her smile.
And though, a distance shears
word salads by the mile,
just know the love you bring
stays with me all the while.

"How are you doing today?"
******* horrible, not like you give a ****.
"Great, and you?"
As if I actually give a ****
"I'm great as well, thanks for asking."
Are you lying like me? Are you secretly hurting too?
"Yeah, no problem."
I want to ******* die.
"Oh dear, you look so tired."
Probably the insomnia. Thanks for noticing.
"Yeah I haven't been going to bed on time recently."
I haven't been feeling too much recently, either.
"Aw, a routine is something you need to get into. Going to bed early will make you feel better the next day."
They said the same thing about anti-depressants, yet here we are.
"Yeah, you're right, I should probably get on top of that."
When will this conversation be over When will this conversation be over When will this conversation be over
"Well you have a nice day now!"
I won't, but thanks for the concern.
"You too! Lovely chatting with you!"
That just took every last ounce of energy I had left in my body. Oh god I'm so sick I'm so tired I need help I need help I wanna die please someone see through me and help me I need-
"Hey! How are you doing today?"

Clearly, you're unwell.
Clearly, you need help.

I'm unwell.
I do need help.

But why you.
Why of all people it's you?

I don't know why but i should know you chose me.

I know and i love you as well.

I can't return that.

Why not?

melancholy eyes glaze over
the old honeycomb wallpaper pattern
and the mottled ceiling, paint peeling
noting every crevice in your new apartment
my consciousness dips in and out
of every nook and cranny, catching
fragments of the conversation.
you should always be the centre of attention.
i'd tried to entertain the notion, you'd noticed
my eyes in the ceiling and ushered me back
to the boring evening tea room with a gentle
fingertip or two pressed to my wrist.
do you wish you were somewhere else?
would you read my tea leaves and tell me,
what does the future hold for us?

******* food
It consumes me because I don't consume it
I'm so tired of the disorder
I've exhausted all the words around it
All these revolving door conversations
I have to eat my way out of this
That's the only way the topic will change
I have to eat to change my relationships
I can't wait for the day
That the topic changes

Friendly pokes
***** jokes
Someone has misheard:

-Are you some kinda perv?
-I struck some kinda nerve?

Awkward looks
into boots.

Who will be the first
to change the topic,
pitch of talking?
Can this be reversed?

It was just an impulse.
Yes, it is that simple
when it's not rehearsed.
Who's that good with words?

Smile and let's move on.
Let us not be dull.
Moods will come and go
so on the go we learn.

"Get over it"  . . .  Its not that easy
"Move on"  . . .  I've tried
"Let it go" . . . It is apart of me
"If it was me I would be happy"  . . . Impossible with my thoughts
"Think positive"  . . . I try everyday
"The past does not define you"  . . . It haunts me
"If you just think differently"  . . . If only my mind allows me to
Enlightening words from a friend who has never know depression
Whose mind is right
A friend who has no sickness holding them back from life