I can say it now,
I officially feel it,
I am a coward.
No good reason either,
For am I not knowledgeable,
In how to approach a beautiful person?

Yet,
When I wanted to smile towards you,
My face could only freeze blankly,
If you saw or not wouldn't have mattered.
The only thing was for me to do it,
A physically attractive person,
Someone who,
(Mind my language tis the best I have),
Forced the back of my tongue to swell,
So that I may not breathe,
Not to produce a sound,
Not for thought to escape,
And apparently,
Not for any emotion to show.

A coward that is what I am,
Never able to fight the weakness,
Yes a weakness,
Yet one that holds me,
For whenever I see a beauty,
One that my mind goes...
Well,
Bonkers for physically,
But then I face this wall,
Maybe I'm allergic,
That's it!
Just because I freeze around,
Physically attractive people doesn't mean,
I'm a coward,
It means I'm allergic,
My reaction is my swelling tongue,
But with all these beauty's,
I may need a cure...

dedicated to the one that got away

hey there butterfly, five months ago you were still in college. you were nervous because it was your final semester and you were stressed out because of the workload. you met someone, butterfly. god, he was so pretty and magnificent.. saccharine as honey he was, extremely understanding and just so easy to converse with. so you indulged in him more and spent time with him. spent nights together after long evenings of work, embracing one another’s company in various ways. there was a spark that neither of you could deny and so the genesis of your relationship began. you belonged; with him, the comfort of him, and just in the space of happiness provided to you. you belonged there. you deserved it.

hey there butterfly, he introduced you to his friends and called you his. could you feel it? your heart beating when the word mine came out of his lips.. the smile not once leaving your face for the rest of the night as you all hung out. you competed in several tournaments, and each tournament he was rooting for you every time. he was extremely proud of you in anything you worked hard for and never once forgot to let you know. you deserved this, a man by your side that could appreciate you in many aspects.

hey there butterfly, you did it! you graduated. you graduated and he was able to see you walk across the stage. could you feel it? the warm feeling in your chest knowing that he watched you accomplish something so life changing? that support was something you’ll never forget, isn’t that right? having someone so amazing by your side willing to be here for you through anything has made you glow, butterfly. you’re beautiful and you deserved this.

hey there butterfly, are your wings broken? that was quite a fall you took there. could you feel it? the rope not budging as you pulled and pulled to give him the support you knew he deserved? you comforted him during his hard times and you gave it your all.. but in the end it wasn’t enough and you can’t make someone stay if they have no desire to do so. i know he’s gone now and something in you hopes he comes home but you know it’ll be okay eventually though, right? no matter the obstacle whether big or small, you must never falter. if it’s meant to be then it will be. you are beautiful and you are so strong.. you deserve the universe. you’ve been taking care of everyone but now it’s time to take care of yourself. you’ve gotten yourself hurt again, butterfly. you will be okay one day. it hurts now but know that there is nothing you can’t handle. you are so special, butterfly.. you don’t deserve any of this pain but it will get better. i love you, butterfly..

If you start questioning it,
she will too,
and then she'll be grateful
that you made her stop and think about it all
because she'll realize you were never
what she wanted.

But what it'll take you a while to realize
is she wasn't what you wanted
either.

Joy conceived in the vision
The Lily of the drought
Volunteer of the incision
And a seed of doubt

Black silky Intertwined threads
The touch and sound of care
Love, warmth, comfort spreads
Your intensity in all rare

Infinite options hang above
Spinning a smoky vortex
Simply what you hate or love
Discombobulates my cortex

Only clues to a mystery
Yet partials of a masterpiece
Less of shortened history
Wonder moves me not to cease

Everyday it seems, more of the same:
Some kind of sick & twisted head game.
And to what selfish end, I can
Only assume it, to be
In the aim of amusement.
Kicks for you,
Joke on me

Once, I stumbled upon a precious treasure,
Yet foolishly let it slip away.
"Died of a broken heart," a phrase whispered in sorrow.
For years, I withheld my tears,
Working on myself, mending my flaws,
But now, I'm plagued by a curious desire.
Why do I yearn to risk it all again?
To escape from this world, I pen my thoughts,
Childish, perhaps, yet a means to understand,
Not to refute my beliefs, but to observe,
To partake in the purity of love's existence.

What makes it so extraordinary, I wonder?
Caught between stress and the echoes of history,
Love and war entwined in a tangled dance.
Deep into the night, I gaze, seeking comprehension,
Struggling to decipher these unfamiliar emotions.

...
To you, the one who is and will always be,
My soul's companion, the love I crave,
I possess nothing else of value,
So please, handle with care,
This fragile, tattered heart of mine.

Wishing you all the best,
Festus Ikimi.