You have been gone
But never too far away
You're the bedroom upstairs
When the parties in the living room
I often think of you
How comfortable and safe you feel
A place where I don't feel I'm pretending
But even when I am, I dont mind it much
It's okay sometimes to pretend
I'm no different from a kid
I'll play pretend and imagine a world
Coloured better than this one
I'm okay playing pretend
No body else knows what's on my mind
And that feels right to me
I'll always think of you
My safety and comfort
But out here, I play pretend

White yellow red and green lights
light up my streets late at night
And I quite like these kind of nights
When It's safe to walk and wonder late at night
My feet closes to the ground in thin patterned socks
And only pictured socks work best for these nights
They bring out the best, these patterned socks of mine
And when my shadow leads the way
I know adventure isn't too far away

Down on knees tying to clean up
last night brought the endless cycle
of breaking everything inside
I don't care enough to not care
I'm over it I think to myself
As though those words mean anything anymore
Sitting white knuckled jaw clenched
I want to give up every time you leave
But I put everything back in place
For everything to look like we're starting over
For when you come back it'll be okay
You can play house with my feelings
And I'll put a smile on
Hiding how tired I am to not mean more
Or worth being better for

Alone is usually when it happens
Violent and hard hitting
Loud and strong
Like being alone helps ease the tension
I rush to wipe every drop
To keep the floors dry
But it doesn't stop
All efforts useless to stop the flood gates pouring
Through these swollen sleep-deprived eyes
It feels like it'll always be like this

When I am safe
I can be myself
Ramble and unravel the layers
Dress up, dress down and down more
When my body can rest
I am relaxed
Because
I can trust you