...
I’m writing all aforementioned while sitting on the edge of the building, in the silhouette of the morning sun. A waft of breeze departs me from the dreariness, unhinged. I found myself in and out of a tidal wave, as if drowning is the only way to stay afloat.
It all serves, too difficult to confess.

In susurration, the landscape exhales something in the color of trees, the temperature last night, and the slant of daylight.

How carried I was (still am) by the unexpected field we encountered, the confidant dialogue we built, the emotional walls we broke. There is a part in my brain that grief won’t grow. Summer in Cangyuan was not lachrymose. The lyrics of Under the Flying Clouds alludes every one of those who are too heavy for me, whom I can’t let go of.

I was not ready for my unscheduled departure from nowhere to nowhere. Many were the tears shed by me in my last adieus to a place so much beloved, and to everyone who makes the place the place.

Do I continue the same, unconscious of the pleasure or regret I occasion, insensible of any change in those who walk under my shade?

Everything’s broken, shattered,
Scattered completely asunder.
And I’m left as a steppe mat grass.
Only crows go round and thunder.

Only crows go round, and their wings
Chase out my reckless life.
I should run after her, but I’m beat.
I can’t catch up with her. I’m lowlife.

I’m lowlife. I can’t hand her back.
I would apologise! I'd confess!
Everything went amiss with us.
It’s a shame that we'll get no chance.

Casi se me olvida que yo también existo desde que te convertí en el epicentro de mi universo
Casi se me olvida que te fuiste y te estaba buscando en la cama para taparte
Casi se me olvida que tus promesas caducaron hace tiempo y me entristezco al acordarme
Casi te escribo un día de estos pero ya carece de sentido  
Por mucho que yo haya sentido, ahora se que he dado más de lo debido
Te he llevado conmigo en cada latido
Tengo estas letras de testigo
Un río de lágrimas he vertido, a plena luz del día y también a oscuras, escondido
Preguntándome por qué te has ido… y esas palabras vacías y gestos fríos como si fuéramos dos desconocidos
Minimizando mis sentimientos y lo que he sufrido
Se que tu también lo has llevado dentro,contigo
Saque fuerzas de donde no quedaba para enfrentarme a tu apego evitativo
Pero solo tenía que dejarlo estar… al final solo conseguí sentirme derrotado,dolido
Por eso ahora lo suelto todo en un suspiro
Me acompaña el insomnio, los pensamientos no me dejan estar dormido
Son mis ganas de pensarte, mis ganas de sentirte y de sentirme vivo
Y tengo miedo de que un día amanezca y no seas lo primero que pienso al despertarme
Porque entonces se habrá apagado lo que tanto quemaba
Y han pasado tormentas pero la llama no se apaga, sigo recordando tus manos, tu cara, tu mirada…

What a web
Of clever widows.
The venom burns,
Acid lapped wounds,
Too early for the pain to subsist.
And of what I know,
She has yet to confess
And likely never remit.

A bit of another story
for someday when we can
make the time,

to think how old river tales are,
those ones when a river is bent,
to the will of empires, using tiny
autonomic nanobots, scene human scale.

Here your mind crossed mine in all probability
exactly once, just
right, it all was just fine, grinding
to a halt,

frictional tension, old blisters recollected
as reminders, what the science misthought right,
and sold mysteriously, for the promise to pay
all the taxes you manage to squeeze,
from the cash cows digital representation,

brass bull, where once stood a golden calf,
in the blood of a red heifer and a white buffalo.

The past
always seems
To chase after us
When I choose to lie
I've learned to never
Let it go any further
If I know
I did something
That I'm accused of
I confess

I don't want to play
Cat and mouse
Delaying the inevitable
Is the worst game
You can play
And never win

If I did it
Then I did it
And that's all
There is to it