The sun came on out today
With your smile
The world spun in your name
I heard your laughter
Everyone says it'll be ok
It doesn't matter anymore

But here is where I am
Thinking about you
And here is where I stand
Dreaming about you
And every day that passes
I need you even more

And everytime I see you
I open my mouth and I
     Try
            To
                  Say
I love you even more
Than you can imagine
And everyday there's a new door
With this pathway
That leads me to your smile
And I often wonder why
I can't tell you
But I don't ever think it through
Why can't I say I love you

What a web
Of clever widows.
The venom burns,
Acid lapped wounds,
Too early for the pain to subsist.
And of what I know,
She has yet to confess
And likely never remit.

A bit of another story
for someday when we can
make the time,

to think how old river tales are,
those ones when a river is bent,
to the will of empires, using tiny
autonomic nanobots, scene human scale.

Here your mind crossed mine in all probability
exactly once, just
right, it all was just fine, grinding
to a halt,

frictional tension, old blisters recollected
as reminders, what the science misthought right,
and sold mysteriously, for the promise to pay
all the taxes you manage to squeeze,
from the cash cows digital representation,

brass bull, where once stood a golden calf,
in the blood of a red heifer and a white buffalo.

The past
always seems
To chase after us
When I choose to lie
I've learned to never
Let it go any further
If I know
I did something
That I'm accused of
I confess

I don't want to play
Cat and mouse
Delaying the inevitable
Is the worst game
You can play
And never win

If I did it
Then I did it
And that's all
There is to it

I think I can handle not being your friend anymore.
I think I can live by without talking to you.

Not seeing you is fine, ignoring me? I guess I can live with that?
I stopped because my friends liked you before.

But now, so what if our friends have a history?
Doesn’t matter, I don’t care. What I really care about is you.

And you don’t have to tell me. You look busy.
But no matter how busy. Please take care of your health too.

It’s important for me to know whether you get sick or not.
If you are sick, I don’t feel good. Well, I don't know.

You keep appearing in my daydreams and dreams.
I’d say you’re the girl in my dreams, but that’s just overused.

And to be honest, we almost met face to face before.
I saw you from afar and I just couldn’t bring myself to look at you.

I stopped and crossed to the other street.
Waited a bit just to see you in person and that was worth it.

Maybe because we didn’t know each other; perhaps it was because you are a stranger. I kept being busy trying to forget about it.

Yes, perhaps because we are strangers; but when I opened my eyes.
Every morning, I still thought the same thing.

I thought as much, but what if? You can’t forget that person?
What if it keeps glimmering in front of your eyes and keeps appearing in your mind?

I don’t know. I didn’t want to admit it.
I thought it couldn’t have been the case.

Something I’ve been denying for months, turned out to be true.
My heart races because of you.

I like you.
no, not just that.

I truly like you.

-The modern day is poor as people continue to act wild
-Lack of accountability been running rounds
for miles
-Marching marathons in remorse for awhile
-Watching expectations come up short as it starts to pile
-Its been a long time that its been a good time now
-Happiness is hard to be found
-Life has emotionally been roller coasting in the pandemic trials
-And time is racing pass the finish line, hoping to make this life count

-I talk pro about growth cause it’s important to me
-But letting go certain habits is a con i’m avoiding in me
-Praying towards my come up. Patience is slow, but surely
-I’ll manage to overcome those traits one day with the burning desire in me
-I know the potential is in me
-Been supporting free speech to damage people to speak out like it’s therapy
-But hold up, who’s volunteering their time for me to hear my story?

-Life’s crazy causing pressure on me
-Single making 50k yearly, but the office career is unhappy
-The girl I love right now not even mentally ready for me
-Of course I love myself but now who’s gonna love me?
-My heart holds hope while beating lonely, and yet
-Waiting patiently for something new and more
-Chances of getting married now is betting a craps game on the floor

-Can’t continue to sleep with this women I have deep feelings for
-If it’s 50/50 we’re not going to be together moving forward
-And if there’s zero chance for us in the future,
then allow me to close our paradise door
-Back to the drawing board of this single world tour
-Letting go is hard, but good for the soul i’m sure
-Healing these deep wounds is speaking straight to the primary source
-So I started writing my confessions in multiple letters to the Lord

-Hoping my sins don’t cast the next stone, which I can’t afford
-Asking God how further away am I from my reward?
-Once I take that first step to obedience, then his light will shine from the door
-This the start when I stop “starting over” and gain a little more
-This the start when blessings touch my hands as they begin to pour
-This the start when feeling apart turns my part into love and adore
-This the start when the heart can fully be restored
-And if there’s a high chance of life turning around, this the time I walk further towards more in store
-Growth is what i’m fighting for

a question
worth
asking

a risk
that's worth
taking

craving
you
like a drug

i know
you're
lost

but
you're
here

your smile
is the reason
for mine

i wish to be
more than
friends

i wish to
wake up
where you are

have you
seen you
if not

let me
tell you
that you're

beautiful
in every
single way

i
love
you