I'm not sure
if I was going to to see the band
or to see you.

I can’t hug them, I can’t even see them
They are the reason for me to live.
I just have to believe.
I thought I was close
But suddenly the chances closed
I and my fandom are inseparable
But meeting them seems impossible.
I said I love you… you can’t feel it,
I cry for you… you can’t even see it
Because I’m just one of your million fans.
Impossible to hold your hands.
I’ve realized,
No matter what will happen
I’m just a girl in the crowd
Screaming loud.
Impossible to reach you.

Flashing lights sweep past your face,
illuminating something you don't understand.
A beat so deep your core is rocked,
and everything sounds like an oscillating fan.
A thousand people around you,
jumping out of sync to a song with so many meanings.
and for *just a moment, you are not you,
but a lost soul glad to be home.

There she stood
Hidden in the shadow of head banging bodies
Fist up to the gods of metallic brilliance
Moving to the twang of the guitar string

*The girl in the pink dress always had a taste for metal

To the girl I will never see again,

I didn't even get your name, but I feel so certain it was beautiful.
You were tiny and angelic, but in no way fragile.
You had a smile that lit up the entire concert even when the lights were dim.
I am grateful to have met you, if only for one evening.
You barely came up to my shoulder, and I am in no way tall,
But somehow, you still seemed stronger than anyone else there.
Your makeup was perfect, when I was entirely drenched in other people's sweat.
Every time you could tell I was scared, you pulled me out of the pit.
Whenever a guy was getting a little too close to me, you pulled me away instantaneously.
You made sure if anyone had water, that I got a sip.
You cared, but why?
Why in the world would you have picked me of all people to make sure I was safe all night?
This was both of our favorite bands,
But you made sure I did more than survive the night.
You made sure I was happy the whole way through.
The lights reflected on your bright red hair,
Reminding me why we associate red with love.
I don't believe in love at first sight.
But I believe that you cared about me.
And I don't know why.
But I surely care about you too.
I wish you hadn't have gotten lost in a sea of people during the encore.
I wish I had gotten your name.
I wish I had gotten to know you.
May we cross paths again, my "For One Night Only" friend.

i showered 4 times on the day you left
scrubbing and scrubbing trying to get you off my skin.
i turned the heat up all the way,
and let the burn take my mind off of you.
i threw out all your t-shirts and hoodies,
and hoped if i erased any trace of you from my sight,
it would erase you from my heart too.
i repeat "you dont love him anymore" in my head
until it becomes monotonous and numbing.
i convinced my heart it was okay to beat without you,
and my lungs that it was okay to expand
into the voids you left in my chest.


i saw you the other day, at some ****** punk concert,
and for a second, i felt a pang of nostalgia.
but like a lightning strike it was gone.
you asked my friends why i don't text you anymore
and they told you the truth:
i don't love you anymore.

Together we ride. It’s time. Rainstorms, floppy windshield wipers, traffic in chaos, wrong turns, and friendly chatter. Can you feel it? Quickly, into the Smoothie King Center—duck and cover from the gusty wind and cold rain. Feel the excitement. Long lines, money shuffling, ruckus crowds, and pleasant laughter. Hurry, find good seats. Feel the fellowship. Bodies collide and separate, sorting the confusion into order. Each lays tacit claim to their place in the mass. Press in. The concert kicks off with flashing lights, loud rhythmic voices, ecstatic music, and cheers. Togetherness. Young and old artists sing their hearts out, one after another. Rap, country, rock, pop, bluegrass, techno, alternative—in unison we scream, clap, sing, head bang, sway, cry, laugh, and raise our hands. Worship.  Pounding music engages every ethnicity, every musical genre, and every heart under Christ. We are one spirit of complete surrender. *Church.