I had a friend once
who taught me
what it feels like to have someone to truly care for.

I had a friend once
who taught me
the importance of not saying
"I Love You Too."
Just because someone wants me too.

I had a friend once**
who I started to love
but now it's through
cause it was too much to lose.

(a.d)

I sit in bed—
Usually at night—
Possessed with thoughts of you.
They run around in my head
And in my heart
And in my stomach.
Logging feet and meters and kilometers and miles and leagues.

And when I see you—
Sometimes during the day—
My heart begins to beat
Much in the same way it beats
When I see clowns
Or darkness
Or large crowds
Or people who I met once at a party and bonded with but now my sober personality is not quite as uninhibited to talk as we once did
Or any of the other things that terrify me.

And when I hold you—
At many different times—
The weight of your head on my chest
Is heavier than
The weight of your head on my chest
Because there’s also
The weight of your being on my chest
And that also makes my heart beat faster
But I think that’s just a circulation thing.

There are times—
Sometimes in the mornings when you wake me up
Sometimes in the mornings when I wake you up
Sometimes in the middle of the day when you make me laugh
Sometimes in the middle of dinner when we sit in silence
Sometimes in the middle of the night when I feel your breath—
When those words want to come out
But the muscles don’t work
My tongue and my lips
Forget how to move
And form the sounds.

Ah
Ee
L
Uh
V
Uh
Ee
Oo.

Easier done than said.

i let
my lips
get chapped on purpose
so i wont
be tempted
to kiss you
on our date tonight

i let my hands get dry and cracked
so i will have no problem in keeping them folded on my lap

i took some heavy blows to the knees
so if i dont want to walk very far with you there will be no rational reason to be angry at me

and i would show and tell you all of these things to drive you away

but i know that you dont care
youre the first boy thats ever been in love with my mind
(beautiful, right?)
and im not scared to the point that i would be willing to self-destruct
(i am a little bit more logical than that, i value my thoughts more than that
they're the only thing i have power over, anyway)

youre the first one that has ever encouraged me to do what i love
(and maybe i love you for that)

I am trapped
in a pit full of
sad smiles and
broken promises.

(a.d)

....the way she walks and the way she talks
She is the fairest of folklores
She drains me of words
And drowns me in thoughts
She is the reason I smile
Even amidst a milli reasons to cry;
The magic mat on which I fly
Deep into the fluffy clouds of fantasy
Where only she and I will be,
Watching our lives unfold like a golden scroll
Living every day as it comes......

Often times I will stop and think
Of reasons, of ways to love you.
How can I show, what can I say,
So you understand that I am true?

You ask nothing, you care and give
Through troubled times, I know -
Often I wonder, if we were asunder,
Where would our lives then go?

So to this I say, together, today
I will never leave your side.
For often times, our souls will rhyme
And our poem is now my pride.

We will flow, often times we know
We will run, and build.
We will flow, we reap and sew -                                                                                                                  
And baby, there’s a spot that only you can fill.

You reminded me about the promise I made the night i was gonna jump and let my problems fly away,
I swore I'd never try that again and I told you tonight that I've been known to break everything I swear to keep,
Like your heart
I promised to keep it whole and we both walked away incomplete.
I don't know why it is but commitment scares me.
That's why I fail suicide and that's why I still question my life
And I push away people who care about me because god knows love is just as scary as committing to living.

I’ve never finished a book
or written a song longer than a verse
I like to say I’m a jack of all trades
but its just because I’ve never loved anything
enough to make me stay

I can never step foot into a theatre
because I feel
if I never watch a movie
I’ll never have to see the credits roll
and the lights turn on

understand me when I say
I’m broken
because I think that never holding on
is better than having to let go
and I never cry
because I've never invested enough of me
into something I can lose

I only dip my toes
because I fear that one day
I’ll wake up on the wrong side of the bed
and hate the feel of water on my skin
(what a predicament that would be)

but I would drown in you

my thoughts are short stories
and my longings just poetry
the stanzas escape me
and I can never make it past the first paragraph

But I could write a novel about you

Chapter One: how she laughs
Chapter Two: the sparkle in her eyes
Chapter Three: the beautiful way she looks at the world

you are not a sprint
but a marathon
my legs will throb
my feet will chafe
my lungs will burn
my head will ache
I will want to give up
but please believe in me
because no one has ever loved me
past the first lap


but I would run
every
single
mile

of you

you like your coffee black
with two ice cubes
in the red mug you keep
in the cabinet next to the stove

and you like your eggs scrambled
with salt and pepper
with 4 slices of bacon
and you won't eat breakfast
after ten thirty

and the reason I wake
hours before you
and spend thirty minutes
making you breakfast

is to be the first person
to see your blue eyes
reflect the sunlight
that shines through
the half closed blinds