i am left with
all these alien feelings
as you stand by the window
rain and wind slowly
make their way into you
the light from your cigarette
becomes colorless
in and out...every breath
the whisper of being here
gives the idea of being out of place
as you will without-end be a long goodbye

As color blended into one,
a mundane shade be found,
a portal spawned spontaneously
leading to a new plane.
And never did time change there
nor move within this world
the sky of faded grey,
the stars, the only twinkling light.

A forest of decay
swamped by growth of moss and vine,
submerged in icy water
as frost clung to its breath.
Though this land, forsaken,
seemed fraught with death and doom,
life occurred in a minor fashion
within the colorless realm.

While 'neath the frost and damp of night
there lived a silent song,
echoes of past lives calling
to those who deigned to hear.
As predators hunt prey,
the voices captured light
and sprouted glowing blossoms
to entrance all that could see.

And below the undergrowth, hiding,
were creatures small and quick;
the only source of color
under the diseased trees.
They darted past each other
to nests in fungi abodes,
dragging with them the petals
of starlight wrapped in leaves.

A rainbow formed in dew drops
and glittered in the sap
of the life-giving waters
still streaming from the trees.
And waiting near the borders
were creatures of tooth and claw,
searching for their next meal
between the growing thorns.

This colorless life
existed silently,
a singular occurrence
within the achromatic world.
But still, there was a hope
and a flicker of a flame
that soon color would bathe
the land in brilliant shades.

Reach into the hole in your head

          follow the trail that consciousness bled
    
     leading you down Paths never trod

               planes never Seen by the eyes of man

     unsullied by preconceptions

or illusion of plan

          the Blood flows and the trail grows

spilling over into Colorless Night.

what color is hate?

think hard, answer, not easily up-conjured,
obvious choices, careful be, exclude not, some voices,
no rush, think upon it careful, after all, hate hates variations,
it, as old original as the Garden of Eden

you desire answer, something quick, *****,
look to very nature of hate, so easy spewed,
after centuries of construction, yet, there is
nothing quick about hating, tho learnt early on

some variants of millennium length, eons short,
oh weep, at this great irony of ironies, hate is so
innate engrained, is it in the red blood, cells of the
white colored brain apparatus we all share?

unnatural impossibly genetic. don’t believe it.

hate is colorless like air, like clear water.
how else could it be so easy given, taken.
innocent innocuous is the color of hate,
easy transmitted, and never to be a vaccine

until it can be seen how we implant it within ourselves.


11:40pm
Sat Jul 11

They can separate themselves from their demons
I can’t
The demons I carry around have been my best friends for so long,
I can’t tell the difference from them,
And me
They know when a thought is being placed there from something non-human
I don’t
They talk so much it pours out my mouth
The demons say they love me,
So Me, being desperate for love
Accept them
Then I follow their rules
- eat little- sleep none- cry always- tears never
And so many more
I’m no longer self-regulated because I'm no longer myself
They swallowed me
Since I can’t tell the difference between us, I willingly gave myself up
Traded myself
For a monster
That only brings others down, or drags me down, to lift others higher
They have become me
They are me
There Isn't a distinction anymore
There isn’t a red font to tell me what ideas to avoid
Because I don’t avoid any ideas at all
Nothing is off-limits, they tell me if I see a thought,
Take it
No matter who it hurts, especially if it hurts me, if you think it, you can do it!
They tell me
You only live once
So they make it hell, but only to prepare me for what’s to come,
They’ve convinced me they only have my best interest in mind, I let them make walls
To protect me

once you told me
i get in the way of your happiness

now, wherever my tired legs carry me
your fading shadow follows

my surroundings, nothing but props
drenched in memories, dripping our worst and best moments

if only i could soak up the residue
of the most breathtaking wave i have ever laid eyes on

remembering every deafening surf
i surrender myself to the cold pouring rain

each hard drop aches to wash off
the draining past from my empty face

once you told me
i get in the way of your happiness

but pure happiness
is just a colorless green idea sleeping furiously in our innocent minds

My hearts been on the fritz,
It’s been bleeding from all the slits
from taking one too many hits.
this must be as good as it gets
when you lie in your own ****,
this life isn’t one I’ll miss.

You know I never got that kiss
I’ve lived one big swing and a miss
cause I never learned how to mix
that well with others,
just ask my brothers
I fit in with the suckers
living life in the gutters.

Here there aren’t many colors
and even fewer lovers.

Like the blues in the denim
Wash after wash
We draw on new layers even when
our being is stripped apart.
And it takes more than a deep swallow
of nothing and more
and it takes more than a hard fist
that grips at nothing and more
We just want to be desired but
shades of grey we all become