Caught somewhere between
Being friends and being lovers.
Tangled in this web
Of " We could be..."

He said he found my poetry...
God, oh, silly me.
He said he found my poetry.
A blushing red I be.
It's true I never said his name.
But by writing about him I played his game.
He read all of my poetry.
And didn't feel the same

I’d kissed neon once before;
It scolded when it shouldn’t
And took half of what I
Owned.

I’d kissed neon again;
Come a night with, “Dylan,”
And ***** when the beer
Went dry.

And I’d kiss neon forever;
Come a’grayed hair’s gossip,
Words ‘bout our first night,
And, “we,”

We’d cackle on our backs, jubilant.

One black night
thinking about reality of life
she, unknowingly let her mind
wander
in the forbidden land
ruled by darkness,
the place where demons lurk
and attack every thought
trespassing the territory
the next morning
she found her thoughts
wounded
bleeding
dying
at that moment she realised
this is the reality of life!!
But it was so late
that nothing could be done,
she now was the
prisoner of the forbidden
kingdom...
and that was her
EVER AFTER !!

evening everlasting;
          the night dissolved, seeping into the world



                   aroundus
                      now
                 farbehindus    



existence echoed, persisted behind us
Over sweet sighing, parting.


……………………………………………………...
Like a dream I had forgotten how it had begun.
So, I was left to be aware of what was before me.
I glanced at this hand,
& a moment of infinity
was entered.
I was at the cusp of the end of an exhale
Pressing my lungs to my heart
Held in my sight:
the shape of those fingers,
half curled over the air.
                A shift! The pairs were caught:
For the first, ever, I was sealed;
it happened     inside       thoseeyes.

The world echoed its way out a backdoor behind us.
Shut, my breath gave out to a quick intake.

As in a dream I traced the sweet remembered melody melded of that still moment: a soft ringing, clean&pure.;
I woke up.

First the illicit thrill
Becomes routine habit
Run of the mill
Like you're invincible.

Once, your heart beated
Feverish, hesitant,
Now you swagger, unheated,
The cheat can't be cheated.

The check-out girl, Lizzie,
Is trusting and smiling
Then she turns away, busy
And you're suddenly dizzy.

To your pocket inside
Go the chocolate bars -
Though it's undignified
There's a strange kind of pride.

Then - out of the blue,
In front of the world,
One day she asks you....
And what can you do?

...But collapse to your core
Like a worm-eaten apple
Pray to fall through the floor
You are Named, evermore.

Oh - the shame! she's disgusted
You're a thief, you're mistrusted
All that shock and self-loathing
For those moments you lusted.

Poor girl, she won't be aware
That her face and her voice
Will feature forever
As worst memory, lowest nightmare.

You'll be chilled to the bone
And you'll ask yourself "Why?"
Without job, wife or home,
Foolish, guilty, alone?

Why can I love two when
I may only have one?
Is the boy I am with
Just a flame that is done
Or the man I'll marry?

Is the man I have met
Just infatuation
Or is there so much more
To this situation?
These thoughts make me wary.

Out of sight, out of mind;
I am happy with both
Until I am alone
Caught between bliss and oath.
Why must it be scary?

This is not fair to me
Or to either of them;
Why can't it be simple?
My heart is split even.
Love is arbitrary.

This isn't me i didn't write this.
It doesn't explain at all how i feel.
Poem's left unresolved.
They're all unfinished.
I've finished a poem before.
Felt it was all.
All i could possibly scrawl.
My own scribbles I've read and read.
The best of them.
My dog doesn't deserve to be fed.
But inside unjust and locked tight.
Iron and steel with coarse cage.
My true feelings will never take main stage.
I've told many stories. Some true and false.
I've never told this story.
It's close to my own pulse
Come here touch my chest
Words do no justice
Let me put this one to rest.