Waiting at an auto place
Mourning the decline of the horse
as good a ride as any
except if they went lame.

We are vehicles
Constantly passing each other on the streets
Each containing its own world
Each with a different destination in mind
Sometimes we collide
Causing sparks to glint off of our metallic outer shells
Before propelling us in a different direction
Throwing us off course
We carry things and people with us
And when we cross paths with others our loads become either heavier or lighter
Sometimes we breakdown from lack of proper care
And need someone to put us back together
And get us running again
Why must we pass by each other so quickly?
When will we stop?

I feel crazy in ways that make me question the "correct" way to put on a toilet paper roll

Does the ply come over and around the top,
Or under and out the bottom?

When I was a young girl, I use to switch the rolls to where the ply came from the bottom because I thought it was "easier" that way.

Now I think it looks "nicer" when it's the other way, though.

I keep thinking about how bad my anxiety gets when I am riding in a car and someone else is driving.

(This obviously has a lot to do with the fact that I have lost far too many amazing and incredible and beautiful people to freak car accidents)

But I think it also has to do with the feeling of not being in control.
I think that aspect plays a great role in feeding in to that constant edge of fear...

On the edge of my seat,
Cringing due to the fact of knowing that at any minute, there is a real possibility that we could get into a terrible crash and die.

Cars **** people every single day, you know.
And usually young people.
(At least it always seems that way).

But part of my thought process revolves around me realizing that every single one of these people is loved deeply by at least one other person (living or dead).

I don't think it's the dying part that scares me so much,
But knowing how many people whom I love more than life who would be so dreadfully hurt, and in so much pain, if I were to ever die suddenly and unexpectedly in some horrible and unfortunate accident.

That's what really scares me…
Hurting the people I love.

I've felt that pain.
I know that hurt deeply.
And never would I ever wish it upon a person,
(No matter how much I might possibly despise them).

I think that I get so upset when people drive recklessly (even just a little bit) because (to me) they don't realize how ******* fragile everything is...

(Fragile; I've always like that word)

Don't people see how fragile it all is? How fragile and finite the life of a loved one is? How fragile and finite all life is in general?

I'm scared to death riding in cars with people
(More scared than I've ever been)
And I've been thinking a lot about it.

*One week into it and November has been "fragile" so far.

I had a dream

you gave me a car

something had happened to you,

you couldn't go far.

In my dream

I didn't know how to drive

and I crashed your car

the two of us trapped inside.

I had to repaint your car

to get rid of the red

and fix the dents

you left behind.

You never see a girl asking a guy to hop in her Porsche
Sounds like hogwash, of course
But let's just pretend to take the course
Would it be weird or the same?
I honestly wonder why only guys are allowed to do most of these things

two cars stuck in
traffic turning
left blinking in
opposite harmony
in time with the
beating hearts of
fellow hurried
drivers at rush
hour in the heart
of the city just get
me home to my
bed alone where
I can mope until
dinner comes a
calling caught that
yellow light I'm
finally on my
way and there it
is again that
******
yellow
light.

Origins of these golden hairs
My confidence hasn't died with you
Picture frames, store bought frames
With families already inside of them.

Glowing lights, described
Inside a children's book.
Riddled with sexuality and cruelty-
Golden lions abate them.
The standard has now been risen, keep up while you can

Short legs dragging through airport
Corridors so many businessmen
Envy-driven and greed-streaked
Cannibals in arm's reach.

My furry caterpillar claws
Your bite-sized lips, bright red
From kisses past tense. Storm fires Pouring igneous dark matter and gold
Into a deep mystery, well mostly just a mystery to me.

I still can hear the drifting cars
and burnouts in my ears.

feels like it was just yesterday
where red lights lasted years

skies were full of rubber--smoked,
sun was cold and hot

a yesterday from months before
I couldn't have forgot

I feel your hand collapsing mine,
the jokes and many laughs

comradery amongst the rain,
perfume, cologne, race gas

I just had slipped up days before
and told you my heart fell

sun set and woke, so many jokes,
cars ran parallel.

a yesterday I won't forget,
you took my hands in yours

the sun hiding behind the clouds
few raindrops on our pores

while pistons move in cylinders
two cars line up somewhere

crankshafts like jacks in boxes,
and wind blows through our hair

you looked at me like time was lost
while friends sat watching speed

my heart beat faster than the
boosted car that I heard lead

surrounded by our favorite things
a few people that we knew

I saw a smile fill your eyes
when you said "I love you."

Appreciation is showed for the marching band by how many horns are honked while cars drive by on the nearby road
Or almost stepping on small baby Toads on the walk to your car
In the middle of the night
Sleep deprived
It's okay, we wouldn't want it any other way