Oh, you want to talk?
It's been months now
I almost had forgotten
how you changed me,
                     *back then.

Day 1: I want to tear my skin off. My heart is beating so fast i can barley breathe. I feel so filthy.
Day 2: I can't believe this. I don't want to be here. Why did this happen? Why did I let this happen?
Day 5: I guess I drank too much and my friends were to drunk to stop me.
Day 10: I can't face my friends, I can't live my life.
Week 3: No one knows. He hasn't said a word.
Week 6: It happened again, I was sleeping and he did it again. Why did I stay the night? Why didn't I go straight home?
Week 7: He left and kissed me goodbye. I don't know how to feel.
Week 10: My life's out of control, I can't believe whats happening.
Month 5: My boyfriend knows. But not all details. Just thinking about it, makes me want to take a shower.
Month 8: I finally came clean to my friends. They're appalled. They hate him now. I still feel filthy. I can't get his smell off my body still.
Month 11: The anniversary is soon. What am I going to do?
Year 1: I haven't spoken to him in months. I haven't thought about it in days. I still feel as if hes on top of me, why can't I wash him away?

Its an uphill battle with myself and others. Some days I can't get out of bed or even feel like breathing.
But I try not to let him get to me. Because if he sees my weakness from what hes done,
He's won.

Backwards, like a sign that's hard to read. Like a leather jacket that's too stiff in the arms but 2 years off the rack. And then the heart explodes in the esophagus. Pieces of young trust comes out all over what the eyes can see, and each body part wants to go back to their respective bed nestling areas. Sometimes, even this little me gets nervous about being vulnerable. You can only burn the velveteen rabbit once.

These are the monkeys of my throat and the dinosaurs that tend to my fingertips. My skin gets leathery before it feels like silk. I don't smell like a motorcycle or sound like the fast lane but I'm not sure if I want to yet. I'm happier not waiting to randomly be reminded of the pain, it's much better to chase down those hydrogen bombs while the cattle **** is still hot and fire-red. Two served and five Peanuts left for playtime. I rather enjoy being a vampire.

Are you here? I can't see you, I can't feel you. Why aren't you by my side? Why aren't you across the room? Why aren't you with me, as you promised? I need you, I want you, you were my little, only glimpse of happiness over here. Come back, come back to my life.

When you find a romance
as you're sitting under the sun
you finally get the chance
to realize who's the lucky one.
While two people fall in love
realizing how they met
thanking the good lord above
for the best times to come yet.
May they both live a happy life
til death do them apart
if they marry & become man & wife
you can tell it was from the heart.
It was love at first sight
they knew from the start
things would go right
so now the love will never part.

Her love, her modesty, behold her grace
That shine let shine be on her face.

A friend, a enemy let ever be too,
May her company to let me flew.

Her desires, her sacrifices are neglected, i think,
That she was hiding her tears to blink.

Her beauty her modesty behold her grace,
That shine let shine be on her face.

Her mummering, her talkings, her chinese gossips,
Forced me to think about her twisted thinkings.

She was, she is, she will be unique,
Smart one, dreamed one, thats on the peak.

Her beauty, her modesty behold her grace,
That shine let shine be on her face,
That shine let shine be on her face.

Anxiety in the streets, insomnia in the sheets.

"So how do you feel about
Not being invited to your sister's wedding?"
Such was the question he had asked one Saturday in his kitchen.
It was a tactless premise to
The dispelling of his unwanted wisdom
For such was his manner
Of seeking ways to tell us all how best for us to do
"Thus and so,"
Even in matters that he knew not
Hence the thoughtless question
Which yes, he actually asked
Causing them to flinch in pain at the recollection
That they had been so wilfully forgotten
By someone whom they both loved dearly

If my heart were to speak the words I'm about to write,
If my heart were to pour the things its felt,
If my heart were to scream the pain it faces every night,
Emotions would be felt everywhere even the sun could melt.
Silence is a coldness that's felt down the back of our spines,
Its also deaths answer to an oncoming misery.
I live my life feeling love for someone whose always on my mind,
Life is a mystery, it haunts me with my history,
Overwhelming me with a fear of a fake victory.
As my tears drop on the papers I shed my feelings upon,
With bloodshot eyes back against the wall I'm leaning on,
Thoughts lingering, flowing like the rivers bleeding,
Define life for me I need to find a meaning.
Then I remember the glow of your eyes,
Suddenly a new light, and the blueness of the skies,
A new air as I take a new flight, rising from nothing to fly.
Your hearts glow keeping me warm from deaths chill,
I thought I was lost but you've strengthened my will.
Like rising from a new life after being killed,
A blank expression like fear instilled.
As i picture you in my mind, your ocean like eyes and silky hair,
Struck in awe grasping my heart as I'm thinking of you it fills me there.
I can hear the stars speak of a new light, a new plight,
Prayers answered no more lonely nights.
The moon brighter than ever as it beholds your beauty,
Am i dreaming will somebody shoot me?
Celebrities make me joyful but not the way you do,
Like my heart was running on a treadmill a good truth,
And my love for you is true too,
This is my life, and I flew too.