I have wished for years
That my collarbones would make themselves
Known.
That my muscles would
Atrophy.
And my skin would become
Paper thin.
All for the sake of exposing the calcified lattice
That holds me together.
Holds me down.
I have wished to see my ribs
So that I could better understand the bars that my heart
Beats so fiercely against.
I have wished my spine to rise from beneath sinew
Form peaks against my skin
Just so I can see
What makes a man
What backbone is
See what makes me
Stand
Against those things that I do not desire.
Yet here I am.
Synapses stretched between
Head
And
Heart
Eyes sundered, seeing what my heart can't take.
What my fragile fingers fail to grasp.
I am a graveyard.
Made of stars that decided they were meant for other tasks.
Rub your charcol across my bones
Just to see what stories the universe has told.
For it has lived and died a thousand times, and now
And now, this time around it chooses to call this body
Home.
So although there are days I wish my hip bones would rise like
Mountains
In the desert,
That this soft skin would part and give
Rise
To bones like Aspen trees,
I will accept that my
Clavicles
Are the bottom of the sea bed.
And I am
Mile
Upon
Mile
Of stormy ocean.
Still waiting to explored.

As long as there are waves in the oceans
As long as there are skyscrapers in New York
As long as there is a moon and a sun
As long as there is a breakfast, lunch, and dinner
As long as there are seven continents
As long as there are hearts, lungs, and bones in our bodies
As long as there is love in my heart, I will always love you

Hey crow! Where Venus infers such that glass is TheHollow shell of tortoise blossoms oozing the Nyrous tips of incredulous sorceries, felt from oozing blue tears. The shapes are scented for you, the wands of new beginnings that carry you on. Leopards. Sunrises. Footsteps and madmen. Blitzkrieg harkening the weather's ovivorous lightning bursts to shake one's ears. White-colored hermine heroines throttled and wet with shades of gear. Small ranchito shrubs goose-pimple my skin, my hide; and shake this moon. Sway, into the early sun. Burning close to me.

so naturally I would do anything
when she invited me to her room
bolted the door
sat on the bed with legs crossed, chin on fist
a studious frown
told me to strip
but don’t remove your eyeglasses
those ugly black frames so perfect, so typical
stand against the wall
no, sideways, in profile
yes, like that
Your **** is so big
like two pumpkins squashed together
odd on such a skinny guy
Is your **** always crooked
or just when it’s soft
You should paint it red, that would be cool
No, better paint stripes to emphasize the curve
Your little potbelly gives balance to the ***
but you should work out, develop your chest
Okay, put your clothes on
For this evaluation, no charge
but please, more basketball
less poetry and maybe someday
somebody will love you

so many bodies lie
rotting and I’m sick
many hands digging
holes in the ground
and I’m sick. I’m sick
and tired.
I think of how you
used to be, and the
weight of the world
squeezes my neck
till my heart splatters
like red paint
on an empty canvas.
I’m sick, and I let you
carve abandonment
into my flesh.
I’m sick and I want to
sleep where the bodies
don’t sleep.

The body count is high
If you piled them up they'd reach the sky
Of all the men that scorched me
But they where the last to plea
They made me cry
They hurt me, so they had to die

It was the only way
I left their bodies lay
I destroyed their worlds
I made it all come unfurled
They made my darkness
I made them heartless

we are all stories
instead of paper and ink
we're of flesh and blood

Panic attacks on top of anxiety
I'm in the fire, just fry me
The wolfs are circling my house
I'm feeling like a little grouse
Their howls are rattling my windows
The stress is starting to show
They're throwing their bodys against the door
I'm just laying here on the floor
If all they wanted was blood, that I could give them
I could give them enough blood to swim in
But they want more
Please someone lock the door
Made to deal with people I don't want to
So very much to do
And the panic ensues
I need a new pair of running shoes
So I could out run these *******
And there **** brothers
But alas that I can't do
And so anxiety grew and grew
Now I'm in panic mode
My soul is being sold
I just need someone to hold
Someone to be my shield
So I can be healed
**** this I'm going down
I'm drowning and there is no sound
No ripples on the water
No one will even know I faltered
Silence is all that will be left
I'll sink in with no regrets

When I was younger I wrote of cops and robbers
Killers, chases, drugs and thrillers
One specific story that was my favorite chiller-
Hitting big money houses in a quiet town,
What a young burglar grabbed was something he'd better off not found
A suitcase full of treasures not
What he thought was heavy with cash, commodities
Was weighted with remains of bodies.
Can't risk jail, no, he can't pay his bail
So when the killer came looking
The only thing to do was to cover up his trail.

I never finished the story, writing it was kind of boring.
I was busy drinking and exploring when
One night I met a man, and he was telling me this story
How he was almost caught robbing this old man's home
And of the couple things he gathered, a suitcase was one.
No- it wasn't full of literal bodies
Maybe this time, some actual commodities.
But he sold them soon after, to get money for his drugs and whatever else he revered.
That he introduced to his friends that he turned to cold bodies with his endeavors.
So my story plays out in metaphors and its true that rich old men can be killers too
Like the one in my town with the corpses in the walls
I wondered, if plundered, would the killer turn the burglar into another number
And finish my story for me.

~
Rigel

Art thou
Thy soul
Of souls
Reaching
O to thee?

Or that
Celestial
Tide thus
Brimming
So, most
Delightful
Beams o'er
Me?
~

Sirius

O, Yes!
My Bride-to-be,
Spinning fiercely
Like a dervish in
This galaxy!
~

Rigel

My flames! My core!
Held together by my
Own attractiveness, I
Assure, I need not thee
Tis myself I do adore!
Fantastic mysteries
I keep thus pure!

Woo me to Love?
You seem assured
Of your Self as well!
But you must make
Haste to hence take
This, my body, O!
Heretofore to meld.
~

Sirius

My lust forsaken
Broken, taken!

See how hot
These fires
Thus burn,
All my Love
To you I turn!
~

Rigel

Be gone!
Be gone!
My Love
Must be earned.
~

Sirius

O what woe!
Woebegone
And melancholy!
Ease my malady,
Be my Lady!
~

Rigel

Perhaps one day
I shall, but as of
Now, I turn
Thee away.
~

Sirius

I shall do
My utmost
To burn
So close
Today
Tomorrow
So perhaps
Someday
It will be so.
~

Rigel silently

*Sigh, you
Persistent thing;
I wish to cradle
You, soon too.