I hate love my life so much
I wish it would just end go on infinite
If my entire life has been torture
My entire life has been beauty
Every waking moment pain bliss sleep
I can can't decipher or begin to explain
Yet I am forty eight words in.
Forever to end beginning tomorrow
I love with all my heart
I am dead inside.

Hope you feel better than i do
Todays my moms birthday...
i feel so nervous
im tired
my stepdad called me a *** and goth over me being emo
and almost killed me for the 3rd time
i feel like the cover of a fricking Nirvana album
bleh
I don't kno any more

Don't you just feel like that sometimes
Like you just want to fall over dead
bleh
But it's not that easy
Nothing is
Well, except pulling the trigger :]

I know that I'm not
But is it okay
If I just let myself
Feel disgusting today?

hindsight
is the ******* teacher
who tells you what you could have done to get an A
when you've already turned in your D level assignment.

have i learned anything?
we'll see.

Im so tired
Drag
tired
Stressed
Mentally unstable
Confused
lost
Trapped
Scared
Depressed
Happyyyyy
Empty
Sane ish

Bleh

The bliss of a good day is gone
A calm, dull darkness spreads in me
I don’t really feel sad
I don’t feel scared or worried
Neither excited nor happy
Actually, I don’t feel much at all
I just exist in some twisted, tiresome way
My head hurts of bad sleeping habits
And too little food
And I’m still wearing my tights pants
I never had the energy to take them off
My house is a mess and my kitchen is weary
But how can I clean when I can’t catch the glimpse of an energy boost
Not even a hint of a little hopefulness
How can I do things when I can barely keep myself awake?
My life is good and generally, I’m happy
But every time I set foot in this cursed apartment
It all comes back to me, like a light switch
And suddenly -
All that joy is gone
And what remains is merely a blanket from the past.