Taste the lies
On the lips
Of your lover

Tell me it isn’t delicious
The saltiness of lust
And the sweetness of pain

Tell me how you betrayed me
The way your lips move taunt me
They make me shake

I love hearing you say things
The vibrations of your voice
Take the thoughts of longing away

Kiss my hips
Kiss my chest
My lips

Tell me you love me
Even if its just lust
I want your lies

They fuel the fire
Of passion
In me

Even if its all
Just a fantasy

Pain.
Love.
In my head, these words are now synonymous.
And looking back on it all, I wish I had remained anonymous.
I gave you my everything.
I gave you my all.
And you cast me off the edge
For the pleasure of watching me fall.
I haven’t slept.
I can’t eat.
And this is all due
To your little feat.
You ripped out my heart.
You tore off my smile.
When I say your name,
My throat fills with bile.
Now every day is spent filled with strife,
For you’ve drained all the hope from my life.
You told me you’d wait.
You promised you’d try.
Now I’d be a rich man indeed,
If a dollar was worth but one lie.
I said that I’d love you,
Until the end of all time.
The feelings I kept
Were nothing but sublime.
My promise would have held,
After the Earth fell to the Sun.
But since my heart you have felled,
Eternity's done.
Throw me up on a cross,
So the world may witness my loss.
Stab me in the chest with the blade of your lie,
And I will bleed a million reasons why
I would still give you one last chance.
But fall for it again, I won’t.
Though I still care,
You don’t.
I cannot bear to live in the face of your lie,
I hate you.
I love you.
Goodbye.

i am envious
of what you have,
but not
of who you are

regardless,
it withers me

instead of watching
your garden grow, even if
i find it
utterly dull;

perhaps,
i should start digging up
the earth in my own,
neglected plot

and observe
what becomes

The overcast skies reveal a cluster of cumulonimbus clouds,
a day so dreary and dark that it conjures the idea of fleeing
-- escaping into mindless memories of better times,
sitting in the grass field next to the Markthal in Rotterdam,
opening another bottle of soju in a murky downstairs Seoul bar,
a bar where more than once her feet had buckled under the weight
of one too many drinks, stairs lopsided and wobbly as her steps,
getting stuck in traffic on the way back to the airport of Kuala Lumpur,
tears on her cheeks streaked parallel lines, etched into her make-up
as if a part of her, dripping down into her lap where her fists
were balled up, clenched tight and shaking from the pressure,
visiting Singapore’s Supertree Grove in a one-day trip,
traveling back to Europe, now in Berlin, next day in Prague,
where the standout memory is one too many shots of Becherovka.
Back home it is ten degrees and rain is slowly drizzling down,
the streets are covered with a reflective surface, a mirror
she does not want in front of her, a confrontation she does not want
She left Carcassonne’s castle behind alone, retraces the steps
as if the outcome could still be changed, a mindless mind game
When the sky clears clear contrasts are formed
her escapism has escaped and she is like an esclave to her thoughts.
She travels through all her travels but no what ifs are left to be explored
Tomorrow the weather turns again and so will her memories,
an endless labyrinth she has not yet found an exit to.

Underneath, there’s a stream of something different,
tender feelings, fear, broken pieces, memories, wishes
of the future, a complete inner-world, where everything
is speaking in poetics. Maybe a whole disaster. Touched
and ever flowing. Shattered over the crackling floor.
Where everyone seems to step on. Musings, letting me
know, endurance and there is no promise of life. Maybe
it’s you that’s destiny. Colliding together. For I’ve written
poetry before. Because I wanted t say everything to you,
without fault of forgetting and still want to say everything,
without skipping a beat. I’m desirous of all of it, everything
that comes with love, simultaneously and burst in explosion,
as if love was the first time ever. Actions in wild passion,
forgetting what’s underneath, I’m wanting to love now. Like
if forever exist. Validation happens in love. The mastering
of flaws, happens in love. Perhaps even streams of the
stronger, meaning of one’s life. For we know, bypassing the
unexpected turn, the horror of stumbling upon love, poetry
would of never started, if wasn’t for moments like this. There
is life without you, for that I cry, it’s something I would rather
not, endure if I must, viewing the world with hate and complete
bitterness.
(knowledge variable)

For One brief moment I found this love
This love that I had heard of
This love that heals all things;

This love that floods my soul
Like the water it finds all of the cracks
It breaks down these things I try to hold
Giving me the strength that my being lacks;

A boldness that drives through bitter cold

A bitter cold that I could keep
The one that my soul longs for, for me
So I can make excuses and stay asleep
But He took that away from me
For one moment I am free.