three little kids
spend every friday
after school together,
make fashion runways
out of eachother’s
building halls,
went from going
on field trips together
to each discovering life
in separate ways,
one grew more popular,
one grew more reliant
and one more in peace
with her surroundings,
how can it be that
they learn to accept
that bodies grow and
distances increase
but not that hearts change?

"i can't do anything right"
she says to me

"You can do plenty."
I say to her.

"not really"
she says to me

"Well, you can be here with me."
I say to her.

"anyone can do that"
she says to me

"No. Only you."
I say to her.

"What you did to me is unheard of. Unspeakable. You are repulsive. Goodbye."
I can't deal with you no more.
You were my best friend.
Called me a b** and h and so, so much more.
At this point,
if you don't know those two words,
then you haven't been in this sort of situation.
He was my best friend.
My best friend.
It's still burned in the back of my mind.

Surprising,
isn't it,
when the person you trust the most
doesn't just bail,
but hurts you.
The person you loved the most
makes you stay up crying in bed.
The person you loved the most
makes you feel afraid of going to school
or unlocking your phone.

At this point,
I have given up.
My real friends are my old friends,
the ones everyone thought I would dump forever.
But, they always lurked in the background
of my life.
They may have been shoved to the side,
but never did they fade.

These are the friends that were by your side
through the hardest times.
Before you meet the one friend you
get crazy close with in one night and
pretend
trust grows on trees,
think about your old friends.
The ones you might be mad at for a stupid,
stupid reason.
Give them a chance.

Don't let the others fade,
just because you found a new "them."

You've replaced them.
But, the replacement will fail to serve.

we sit in the thoroughly burning sun
on the scratchy *** grass
legs tangled like headphones
heads pressed together
minds
pressed together
best
friends

You’re loud
And demanding
Sit on my lap then walk away
Knock over the mail and
Laugh at me
You love to make a mess
And sit on my desk
But you refuse
To make yourself at home in my bed
You are strange
Chew on a strand of grass
And stare at the sky
Run my fingers through your hair
Black and soft like velvet
I’ve known you for years
And loved you every one
Brush the back of my hand
Make me smile
You are the best friend
I could ever know
But you will never speak to me
Because you are a cat

How could a smile be so meaningless
Or eyes that show no emotion
Arms that use to embrace me
Now push me aside

I don't know why this happened
We used to mean the world to each other
My best friend forever
At least that's what I thought

How could I have been so stupid
All the signs were in front of me
You never loved me
I was just too desperate to care