I used to think I had the power
Thought I could have been her man of the hour
And how can I keep holding my head in my hands
Thinking where did what we had end
All I say doesn't seem to make sense
Unless you're a person who has been where I am
I used to feel like a soldier
I used to be her shoulder
I could weigh all the hate in my hands
But lately, I don't feel like much of a man
When all these little things are ripping at me
All the smallest things won't give me a break
Maybe I just need to get away
Not sure if I have what it takes
To catch the glass before it breaks
But I can't surrender to the mess
Even though it has me caught in chains
Soon I'll prove I can stand before who I am
Even though I couldn't bare this reflection before
You gotta love and believe in yourself
Before you can truly love somebody else.

©2017 Written By Benji James

VERSE ONE
This conversation is getting harder to maintain
When you're finding every excuse to push me away
And you say that's what you do
Girl, I wanna be the one for you

I don't want to give up

Even though you say I should

I just couldn't live that down

If I just walked out

I know you're hurting 

From past memories

Let me help you heal

Let me help you recover

I want to be there for one another

You're shy and awkward
But you're so cute
And there is so much more to you
We have a lot in common
You're the perfect piece
That fits me
But something in you
Won't give a chance to me

You got your point across
You push away everyone
Everyone that cares
You didn't want me
But the weakness in me
Won't give you up
That's why I'm looking at pictures of you
Don't leave me
Dreaming what could have been
Dreaming what could have been

Baby have a little hope
Hold a little faith
I don't ever want to walk away
I wanna be the one
Who looks you in the eyes
When we wake up
The one who kisses you goodnight
The shoulder you lean on
When you need to cry
The photo memories when you smile
I wanna be that guy
The one that sees you
Without your make up
The one you feel comfortable with the most
I wanna be that guy

You're shy and awkward
But you're so cute
And there is so much more to you
We have a lot in common
You're the perfect piece
That fits me
But something in you
Won't give a chance to me

You got your point across
You push away everyone
Everyone that cares
You didn't want me
But the weakness in me
Won't give you up
That's why I'm looking at pictures of you
Don't leave me
Dreaming what could have been
Dreaming what could have been

Yeah girl let me serenade you
With these songs
Open up let me into your heart
Tell me all the troubles on your mind
Let me make them mine
Let our lives be intertwined
Let your heart guide you way
Into my arms where you can stay
Where you can feel completely safe
Let me take you around the world
With me girl from London to L.A.
So long as I'm with you
That's all I wanna do
Be the one who falls for you
Yeah I'm in love with you

You're shy and awkward
But you're so cute
And there is so much more to you
We have a lot in common
You're the perfect piece
That fits me
But something in you
Won't give a chance to me

You got your point across
You push away everyone
Everyone that cares
You didn't want me
But the weakness in me
Won't give you up
That's why I'm looking at pictures of you
Oh Ashley,
Don't leave me
Dreaming what could have been
Dreaming what could have been

©2017 Written By Benji James

I've lost all sense of concentration
I'll never reach my destination
How can so much devastation
Be caused by such a beautiful creation
So here it is, here is the situation

I'm the one everyone's supposed to rely on

I'm supposed to be bullet proof

But there are so many wounds

From all these penetrated blades

And I'm losing myself 

They call me mental case

I'm supposed to be the one who's brave

But I need someone here, I need you to stay

Because I've started to lose my way

I don't wanna fall, I wanna be okay

But these antibiotics just won't kick in

So won't you take my hand?

I've never wanted to be the trend

Right now I just need a friend

That can really understand 

All that I am

And give me all that they can

Before I crash from going too fast round the bend 

Reckless is an understatement 

Compared to where I'm at now

And the only one who can save me is too far away 

Maybe she's the reason 

My mind is playing these games

And all this thinking is hurting my brain

Ever since we met

Ever since she left

I've never been the same 

Isn't it a shame

I'm never gonna be the same

Isn't it a shame

That you are the one to blame.

©2017 Written By Benji James

After dark, we come out to play
into the park for some fun and games
beneath the shining night sky
we'll lay on the grass
talking to friends about our lives
the memories that we all shared
and about the times we really cared

After hours is when the party begins
will start by drinking
underneath these lit up buildings
until we start dancing in the moonlight
come over here and we'll slow dance
in this modern romance
to the songs that play on the car radio
and when our eyes meet, I'm gonna kiss you

Come one, come all, to this lovers affair
where we'll all be kissing in the night atmosphere
I'll hold your hand until the night ends
Lover this is our chance
We are all alone now
We can start making out
Into the dark of the night
I'll rip off your dress
and we can make love
start out slow, until it gets rough
The body heat will keep us warm
do you feel my heart beating next to yours
underneath the starry sky will make love
I'll be with you until the sun comes up

After hours is when the party begins
will start by drinking
underneath these lit up buildings
until we start dancing in the moonlight
come over here and we'll slow dance
in this modern romance
to the songs that play on the car radio
and when our eyes meet, I'm gonna kiss you

There was a girl standing by the fountain
Thought to myself I'd want to kiss this girl
When I walked over she smiled and slurred
come back to my apartment, it's after hours
We could do so much like kiss and hug
she starts rubbin'
I stroke her hair
rest my hands on the back of her neck
kiss her until we fall onto the bed
She's taking off my shirt  and jeans
I'm slowly undoing her dress
you can already guess the rest
We'll get together and have ***

After hours is when the party begins
will start by drinking
underneath these lit up buildings
until we start dancing in the moonlight
come over here and we'll slow dance
in this modern romance
to the songs that play on the car radio
and when our eyes meet, I'm gonna kiss you

©2017 Written By Benji James

I’ve given this girl too much power
When thinking of you, minutes turn into hours
And it isn't fair cuz,
I can't date anybody else

I would just never be able to forgive myself

And I don't care if people couldn't care less

I care cuz I know how much I'm in love 

And every day I struggle for us

And I strive so hard

Here's my heart in a jar

I just want you there's nobody else

Because baby you're the only one I feel for

And baby you're the one I wanna call

Only for you, I will fall.

©2017 Written By Benji James

Looks like a good day
To stay in bed
Alarms waking me up again
Feels like a good day
To stay in bed
Throw the phone across the room
That's when the home phone rings
*******, can't seem to catch a break
Guess things ain't gonna go my way

Trying to make the most of each moment,
Trying to stay positive and not lose hope
Kicked my toe, on the bed corner
**** hurts like hell
Bad luck streaks building up again
This has to change sometime soon
They say good things will come to you
The longer you wait,
the bigger the reward
Starting to think those people are all talk
Not sure where they picked up that thought

Looks like a good day
To stay in bed
Alarms waking me up again
Feels like a good day
To stay in bed
Throw the phone across the room
That's when the home phone rings
*******, can't seem to catch a break
Guess things ain't gonna go my way

Lost all sense of social skill
Can't chill, can't keep it real
Trying to find the light
Amongst all this dark
Trying to find something
To spark this broken heart
Nothing seems to go to plan
Keep trying to improve myself and
become a better man
Insecurities are getting the better of me again

Looks like a good day
To stay in bed
Alarms waking me up again
Feels like a good day
To stay in bed
Throw the phone across the room
That's when the home phone rings
*******, can't seem to catch a break
Guess things ain't gonna go my way

Feels like I'm wishing
On broken mirrors
Life really kicks you
When your down
Thought there wasn't anything lower than the ground
It seems I've found a deeper ditch
Sometimes life makes you its *****
And you get fed up with all this ****
And all you can think
Yeah all you wanna do
Is sleep the whole day through

Looks like a good day
To stay in bed
Alarms waking me up again
Feels like a good day
To stay in bed
Throw the phone across the room
That's when the home phone rings
*******, can't seem to catch a break
Guess things ain't gonna go my way

©2017 Written By Benji James

I'm in a bit of a muddle
Just had a stumble
lost my shoe in a puddle
This is my life in the struggle
Enough to make you crumble
Bruised knees, torn jeans
Everyone that's seen
Now is laughing at me
Can't escape this embarrassment
It follows my every step

It's just not my day
Look on the bright side
It can't get worse
Sometimes that's the way
The world turns
Thought I was blessed
Maybe I'm cursed
Think it just got worse

Just tripped in a ditch
Into the arms of a **** chick
Knocked her ice cream out of her hands
Now I wish I was dead
It feels like the end
Her ice cream landed
Straight into my face
She slapped me
Then started screaming at me
Telling me to watch where I'm going
What a metal case
This just isn't my day

It's just not my day
Look on the bright side
It can't get worse
Sometimes that's the way
The world turns
Thought I was blessed
Maybe I'm cursed
Think it just got worse

Someone just ran past
And pulled down my pants
It even dragged down my underwear
Now I never want to show my face again
Everyone wouldn't stop staring
This is the moment everybody dreads
Can't believe it just happened
Why does this always happen to me
Can't this **** just leave me be

It's just not my day
Look on the bright side
It can't get worse
Sometimes that's the way
The world turns
Thought I was blessed
Maybe I'm cursed
Think it just got worse

©2017 Written By Benji James

Hey, what are you waiting for?
Me to walk around with an 'S'
On my chest
Told you this boy will never fly again
You tore all the pieces of dignity
Out of me
You've changed all the colour
Into black and white
Tell me do you feel proud?
Knowing how you've trampled
Somebody into the ground
Tell me do you feel proud?
And no this isn't about the girls
It's about all the people who tear
So hard into me and my art
This is about killing off the rumours
You've gone and started on me
And don't you see?
How they have been killing me softly
Ruining my reputation
In amongst all the adulation
Of all the allegations.

Are you just gonna stand there?
Are you just gonna watch me fall?
Can't believe they just stood by
You didn't even reach out your hands
But every time I see you
I still lose it again and again and again
How could I forgive them so easily?
Why did they just stand there?
Tell me why
Oh tell me why
They just watched me fall.

Don't you hate it!
when everything seems to disappear
Don't you hate it!
That when what you hear is not what you said
Don't you hate it!
When everybody is speculating about something
They know nothing about
Oh god, I hate it!
When your betrayed by the one you trust
Oh god, I hate it!
When I see they've been spilling lies
Oh god, I hate it!
That it kills me on the inside
Oh don't you hate it
Oh don't you hate it

Right now you can feel all the trouble
Stirring inside of my mind
Right now you can see all the memories
Burning on the outside
Right now you can smell
All the fear in the air
Right now you can hear
My heart beating faster and faster
Oh what this is just a disaster
And it's escalating
This needs investigation
Oh these people just keep on interacting
I'm supposed to be the inspiration
And the downfall is just another speculation
Of human interference inside of my life
And I'm supposed to be so dedicated
To changing all the sceptics
Who believe all the lies
I am getting entrapped by my own creation
Somehow I went and lost the motivation
To keep fighting all the critics
All the ones who thought they knew the truth

Are you just gonna stand there?
Are you just gonna watch me fall?
Can't believe they just stood by
You didn't even reach out your hands
But every time I see you
I still lose it again and again and again
How could I forgive them so easily?
Why did they just stand there?
Tell me why
Oh tell me why
They just watched me fall.

Don't you hate it!
when everything seems to disappear
Don't you hate it!
That when what you hear is not what you said
Don't you hate it!
When everybody is speculating about something
They know nothing about
Oh god, I hate it!
When your betrayed by the one you trust
Oh god, I hate it!
When I see they've been spilling lies
Oh god, I hate it!
That it kills me on the inside
Oh don't you hate it
Oh don't you hate it

Oh note to self you've gotta keep standing up
You've got to push back the ones that start
To point the fingers at you
Say your the blame for all of this
Say your the one who lied and cheated
And you cry and feel so defeated
Especially when what's going around
Just ain't true.
All the rumours that have spread
Have started from nothing
It starts to show that it's taking its toll
Your trying to protect yourself
While trying to shield everybody else
Tell me how targeting people
Over the simple things
Like all the gossip
You hear through your job.
And it's just not what should go on
Oh feel the shame
Because soon your gonna feel the effects
Of what comes from the end of this.

Are you just gonna stand there?
Are you just gonna watch me fall?
Can't believe they just stood by
You didn't even reach out your hands
But every time I see you
I still lose it again and again and again
How could I forgive them so easily?
Why did they just stand there?
Tell me why
Oh tell me why
They just watched me fall.

Don't you hate it!
when everything seems to disappear
Don't you hate it!
That when what you hear is not what you said
Don't you hate it!
When everybody is speculating about something
They know nothing about
Oh god, I hate it!
When your betrayed by the one you trust
Oh god, I hate it!
When I see they've been spilling lies
Oh god, I hate it!
That it kills me on the inside
Oh don't you hate it
Oh don't you hate it

I've heard all the words they've said
They can't separate the facts from the lies
And that's why they've just crossed the line
Starting something they know nothing about
Just declared war, Those people know who they are
And there the ones who'll be taken down first
Because what goes around comes around
Karma's gonna strike you first
And there's is no need to pray and wish
Because everybody,
Oh, everybody, all ready knows this
Just hope the curse doesn't get worse
You should have just shut your mouth
Now we'll just have to wait and see
What things happen from here
Oh prepare for the fall
Because I can already here the karma call

Are you just gonna stand there?
Are you just gonna watch me fall?
Can't believe they just stood by
You didn't even reach out your hands
But every time I see you
I still lose it again and again and again
How could I forgive them so easily?
Why did they just stand there?
Tell me why
Oh tell me why
They just watched me fall.

Don't you hate it!
when everything seems to disappear
Don't you hate it!
That when what you hear is not what you said
Don't you hate it!
When everybody is speculating about something
They know nothing about
Oh god, I hate it!
When your betrayed by the one you trust
Oh god, I hate it!
When I see they've been spilling lies
Oh god, I hate it!
That it kills me on the inside
Oh don't you hate it
Oh don't you hate it

©2017 Written By Benji James

Just another year older
And the days grow colder
She still won't let me hold her
And it all comes down to the facts
It just seems to be how she reacts
And I couldn't careless
If I'd live or die

Because a life without you
Isn't what I wanna live
I know you've seen right through me
I'll just disappear into the shadows
Your hearts so full of doubt
I'm trapped in a hole and I can't get out

I'm lost in all you are
I'm losing my way
Walking into the wrong direction
Into your anger and perception
There is no need to mention
What you feel in this deception
I came to you and got corrected

Because a life without you
Isn't what I wanna live
I know you've seen right through me
I'll just disappear into the shadows
Your hearts so full of doubt
I'm trapped in a hole and I can't get out

All we had was a lie
There no way I can deny
It was all in my head
And in days I haven't slept
Because with you on my mind
How can I not think
will our two different worlds collide

Because a life without you
Isn't what I wanna live
I know you've seen right through me
I'll just disappear into the shadows
Your hearts so full of doubt
I'm trapped in a hole and I can't get out

©2017 Written By Benji James

Rainy nights, cloudy skies
Chasing me all through my life
This time I've just had enough
People always said when you get older
It'll get rough, But I didn't realise just how much
When childhood memories are all you've got
Every day your telling yourself you can't give up
You live each day the way you've been taught
And you placed your trust in the one you love
But no one is receiving your call
This time nobody's here to break your fall

It tears you apart
Every time you play this part
You'll never be a work of art
Nobody will ever see inside your heart
Oh sweetheart,
You'll never top this chart

Give me the morphine
So I can't feel a thing
Take some more sleeping pills
To get me through this
Just let me overdose
I've never been this close
Put me to sleep, Sleeping Beauty
I've taken my vows
It's time to make these lights go out

Lost within these dark nights
You used to be so starry-eyed
Now all you are is mystified
That everybody's gone and left you behind
At one stage you were cool
But now everybody's played you for the fool
Thought you were all in the game
But instead, you've lost your mind
For committing to this crime
Shouldn't have tried to steal her heart
Should have listened to yourself
From the start and just gave up.
Now look who's dealing with a broken heart

It tears you apart
Every time you play this part
You'll never be a work of art
Nobody will ever see inside your heart
Oh sweetheart,
You'll never top this chart

Give me the morphine
So I can't feel a thing
Take some more sleeping pills
To get me through this
Just let me overdose
I've never been this close
Put me to sleep, Sleeping Beauty
I've taken my vows
It's time to make these lights go out

You've been driven insane
From all the blood rushing to your brain
And you thought you could outrun this train
You've been hit by love
Cupid what have you done
I've been hoping, praying and wishing
That she was the one
I tried to follow the dove of love
It lead me somewhere
I never want to see again
It showed me a part of me
That I never want to feel baby

It tears you apart
Every time you play this part
You'll never be a work of art
Nobody will ever see inside your heart
Oh sweetheart,
You'll never top this chart

Give me the morphine
So I can't feel a thing
Take some more sleeping pills
To get me through this
Just let me overdose
I've never been this close
Put me to sleep, Sleeping Beauty
I've taken my vows
It's time to make these lights go out

©2017 Written By Benji James