A haven of for happiness and company;
Intoxicated minds meet together bubbling here.
Drunken men chatter away at the bar,
The brick walls keep out the cold winter, and hold in the warm energy,
Television screens illuminate the room with little light,
Flickering away, the room appears dim and dreary,
But cheers and laughter brighten the room instead,
The door suddenly swings open where a man emerges,
But the cold breeze stalks behind, inescapable of the harsh winter,
Alone, he settles on a single barstool.

His hand rises and signals the bartender for a drink,
The woman behind the counter shuffles around,
The glass is filled to the brim and the bubbles dance, tempting him,
The bartender slides his drink across the counter
His eyes light up at the sight, only for seconds,
Soon residing to their hollow, sunken state,
The drink presses against his lips, the fizzing liquid quickly vanishes,
The glass is slammed on the counter, empty,
A want for more.

His hand rises and signals the bartender for another drink,
Bloodshot eyes briefly peer up at the T.V.
Quick to look down at his newly obtained beverage, fizzing away again,
His body looms over the glass clutched in his hands,
His body, still unsettled completely, dressed in clothing worn away,
A fading white t-shirt, tucked into his blue jeans stained with dirt,
A brown leather jacket, draped off his body towards the floor,
He unzips it and takes it off, free of its weight.

His hand rises and signals the bartender for another drink,
He leans back and sinks into his chair and lets out a deep sigh,
stretching out his arms, closing his eyes for a moment, resting,
The room, suddenly erupts in a fury of excitement,
People cheer as one screen displays a celebrating team,
Not bothered to glance up at the screen, continued his interest in his drink,
Surrounded, but alone he remains.
He pushes forward, the three empty glasses back across the counter,
Slowly standing up, grabbing his jacket and making his way towards the door,
Another place he pursues,
Stumbling out into the cold breeze again, the door swings closed,
shutting him out again.

I always find myself in moments
balanced poetically between control and chaos
With just one sip tipping me over
until I’m more than tipsy
Falling, but the string is snapping
I cant bounce back
(Stumbling out the door
I need to get away
He can’t see me like this)
And as I hit the floor
A bone-crushing silence
And then my own laughter
Uncontrollable
as I’m writhing there
with my broken stilettos
and black mascara running down
my flushed face, pressed into the pavement.
Yet I still can’t stop laughing,
suddenly finding the trivialities of my own existence so ******* funny.
My sanity is outweighed by the bottles
like rocks on the scale
Rising up in patient stillness
Until I fall, and fail.
He wouldn’t want to catch me
So I catch my breath and stand,
My ripped clothes now revealing dried, caked-on blood
(It matches the lipstick stain, still on my glass)
wounds of doubt and delirious self-indulgence.
Now everyone sees it,
knows my self-inflicted secret,
that I wanted myself to fall-
I’ve grown bored of this balancing act.
I pull my coat a little tighter
So he won’t notice that I ripped myself open
With the drinks he bought me,
and walk back into the bar,
because if I went to sleep now
the loneliness would crush me.
and worst of all,
I might miss the way his voice sparkles
At 4 am.

across the bar,...

i catch a glimpse of a girl with a scorned heart
her long dark hair
one side tucked behind her ear
and the other dangled in her face to hide her faults from the world
she stares at her drink,
twiddling with the straw on the tip of her finger
as her thoughts linger
she came to escape
this is a melody of a broken heart

a few shots later, the whole bottle down
blurry vision as she searches the crowd
warm tears fall down her face
as she reminisces a familiar place
that no longer exists
in the memory of her scorned heart


its almost 2 , time for close
but she realizes she has nowhere to go
these past few weeks this bar has been her one and only home
she's so alone ,
one more drink before she picks up the phone
and calls a cab back to reality

this is her melody of a broken heart

One time I showed up to a bar
took all my layers off and decided to give it a try
I let loose and felt free and drowned my sorrows in dainty drinks and rap music
Feeling like a bomb shell ready to blow
I let the world get under my skin and the beat roll into my veins as I became the girl everyone wants to meet
that everyone wants to talk to
I became the girl of my dreams
swirling in drinks with tiny straws and orange juice
dancing alone but felt like the whole room was with me
time flew by
until I left and became the same old girl who walked into a bar just to give it a try

Going to the toilet was a nightmare,
I would hold my *** and poo for hours,
For fear of sitting on the low toilet seat,
It was pain and toil getting up.
Now, a raised toilet over  two bricks,
And a grab bar,
Has made my life Shangrila,
No more fear,
No more anxiety,
Just slip on the seat and RELAX,
And do what you have to do.

Chocolate Addict
Caramel, Reese's Pieces
Outrageous You Are

Monday has a bad reputation


Before dawn,
Already frowned upon.
A lousy onset
Before it even started.


Monday has a bad reputation
I am dragging myself out of bed


When I should be clenching my fists,
Going in for the ****.


The titillating hope of the beginning
The victory dance when one wins
You gave me Friday this morning.


I have been in love with you
Since that first night
I laid eyes on you;


Still turning it around
Eight years in.


You and I,
An empty bar,

Rewriting Monday's light.

"I think you
need to feel
this..." says intuition

"Can I censor it?
The movie seems
fine from my side"
says the heart