Rolling around and tied in a grasp,
Couldn't give an opinion,
They never even asked.
You weren't alive when you were almost killed,
Thereupon, you've been growing up on pills.
Every evening at 4:55,
A sweet scent fills the room of mine,
Making me anticipate its source,
Making me question the grounds of ruling alive.

At 7, I discerned what lads actually were,
And the fear within me arose,
Too bewildered to even utter,
And everytime I had had an alike night terror,
I entirely rather froze.
Rebound of dusk and I allow myself inhale the odor anew,
One of the lull moments I spend periodically,
The moments rather lasting only for a few.

At my present pubescent years,
Which seem identical to a curse.
Four walls with a roof and trapped,
Held captive along with a noxious herd.
I reach out to the fragrance,
Its source is the abyss.
The abyss that is actually the reality I deserve,
An actuality where I don't have to agonize,
An existence where I don't have frail wrists.

When I ultimately attain that existence,
I'll neglect these years,
Neglect this poem
And neglect my peers.
It'll be a happily ever after,
Until I ultimately pass away.
I'll question Lord and ask Him what other decisions he has to make.

It was 31st August,Two Thousand Fourteen
I was on a Quest, to get answers I was keen
That day, I boarded a Divine flight
There were stars twinkling in the sky that night
Who am I? Why am I here?
These two questions rung in my ear!

I too wanted Success, I wanted Happiness
But my life was filled with misery and stress
I had several Questions that I put to the test
Ultimately, my Guru sent me on a Quest Who am I?Why am I here?
To find answers to these questions and to be clear

I was always jumping from yesterday to tomorrow
My life had so much fun but also a lot of sorrow
I was running a race trying to become an ace
I was caught in a maze, not knowing what is grace
Who am I? Why am I here?
These two questions when answered, would change the gear


For twenty-five years I chased achievement
Then, shut shop and took an exit to fulfillment
I went on a Quest to Realize the Truth
Went on retreats to get to the bottom of the root
Who am I?Why am I here?
I attacked these questions with every possible spear

I Realized that I am not this body, one day it would die
At death, I would pass away, disappear in the sky
Then, the ego asked, 'Am I the mind?'
When I went on its search, the mind I couldn't find
Who am I? Why am I here?
I couldn't be nothing, I was right here!

I am not the body, ego, mind; I am the Soul
I am the Spark Of Unique Life; I achieved my goal
Not This Not This, I realized I was That
There was no doubt, it was a fact!
Who am I? Why am I here?
Wow! In the 'Aha!' moment, I was absolutely clear

I was nothing but a manifestation of God
I was not 'I', I was the Lord
For years, I believed that God lived in the sky
On that Divine flight, I Realized that it was a lie!
Who amI? Why am I here?
O Lord! I am you. I got it, my dear

The purpose of life is not just to live and die
Not to look at the sky, to cry and ask, 'Why?'
Who am I? We must realize without doubt
And who I am not, that we must throw out!
Who am I? Why am I here?
Once we know it, we will live with cheer

I will never die. I am the Immortal Soul
Made of carbon, I am a diamond, I am not just coal
But for this, I needed Realization,
Starting with Purification, I needed Illumination
Who am I? Why am I here?
If I was still, the Divine voice I would hear

This journey is different, it is a voyage within
To discover we are not the ones made of bone and skin
It's taking an exit, not going from peak to peak
It is the higher things of life, when we start to seek
Who am I? Why am I here?
After decades, we get the answer and we are clear

I too wasted my life for nearly fifty years
Then, with the help of my Guru, I Realized with tears
Life is not meant to be lived like a rat in a race
We have to Realize the Truth and get out of the maze
Who am I? Why am I here?
I Realized the Truth and was free from stress, worry and fear

Life is not meant to live with a crisis
We must realize the Truth and get a Metamorphosis
We must move from Self-Realization to God-Realization
Our ultimate goal is Liberation and Unification
Who am I? Why am I here?
That's all we need to know, let's not wander like a deer

Now I am awakened; I have a new Mission
To help others overcome ignorance and have a clear vision
What is the reason that makes us all come to earth?
Why did we all take this Divine human birth?
Who am I? Why am I here?
To make people realize this, I am sincere

~
Sun drips
on leaves

not the backyard variety
but the trembling kind

the kind
that weld night-time
intermissions to
the roof of the mouth

sonnet-filled
evaporation
reveals
the timely concealment of
a very, weary
inanimate object
at the brink

just enough hip
to be woman

just enough wild
to be frontier
~

I ask: Kali Ma what do you want from me?

SHE replies:

There is no love waiting for you out there.
Feel this empty place, this place of aloneness.
Yes you are totally alone;
your expectation is never going to be met from out there.
No one is going to love you for you to know love.

You don't have to do anything.
You don't have to be anybody.
You don't have to to do anything on your list of tasks.
You don't have to fill your time with meaningful activity.

Waste as much time as you like.
Be ashamed of not doing, not achieving if you must.
Wallow in this idea that you are a failure
That everything you have done is for nothing.

There is no love waiting for you out there.

No, I want nothing from you.
I want nothing from you for I already love you.
You cannot give me anything for I already own your soul.
You are mine and I am yours.
I am in every cell of your being.

I want nothing from you.

This is not the love that you seek
This is not a love of safety and sweet hearts.
This love is unbounded.
This love is the force that blasts mountains
And triggers earthquakes.
This love rocks your foundations and
pulls you from the rubble of your ignorance.

I want nothing from you.

Can you not see the foolishness of your seeking?
Wake up to your arrogance!
Open your eyes to the love staring you in the face.

Don't ask me what I want from you,
It is already given.

My solitary self came wrapped in blankets
Searching for answers in murky clouds
Illusions shattered
The answer came in darkness
In peaceful awakening
A mystical enigma fills my soul with wonder
And I am never the same