Things that meant the world to me
Never meant a single thing to you
Wasted three years
Now I'll be wasted come 3 'o clock
Climbed over mountains
Trekked through the bitter coldness
Of a soul that was insane
All for you
And my misplaced love
That never was
Only a figment of my imagination

The comfort of my own
barren pain
retches sights to the follies
that from onset
have raised me in chains.

I gouge in what might have
come out,
in fear of free-falling
into the core of
potential Without.

Propelled into depths
death has forgotten,
my blank eyes adjust
to riches
of numbness like satin.

Exhausted and pale
I release my last wish
to gaze up at darkness
where stars burn
like *******.

It has been years in the desert
Heat stroking
My member
No oasis in sight
No hope for the day
So I stall in the night
Lust no longer giving pleasure
Merely an action
To subdue
My baser emotions
So I go through the motions
Hands on desire
Wiping the sticky rag clean
To cleanse myself
Of the so called obscene

The desert is barren
Lacking any love
The watery red rose
The lips once opened and now closed
Sometimes I miss those lush green fields
Other times I am grateful not to feel

But the desert is always a desert
And sooner or later
Its’ dry heat will ****
All that I have left to feel

Die, ambition; earth awaits
You'll lie there soon and there you'll stay
And apathy: your twin, I say,
Beside you I myself will lay
His cruel and contorted face
So bent from years of shunning grace
So trapped in his immobile state
Afraid to move for fear of waste
Such irony that now his fate
Is lying still within his grave

Spoonful of hope
Poured with care
Elixir to rejuvenate
The dim realities
Gulped down
For it to find its way
Through the
Corridors of malady
To infuse hope
Bleak moments
Will surely brighten
Gaining strength
To fight another day

As I was calling things you that weren't that hurtful such as ******* and ****,  I had realized I had used those far too often and had resorted to a plain "*******". I needed a new angle on the aspect of insults within boundaries. While my need to make you feel inferior raged on I look in the thesaurus to find alternatives to the words I have already used. Of course they didn't have ******* or **** with a list of synonyms. So I decided to look at plain "mean", as I was looking at the synynoms nothing really described what I wanted to put in your brain that you already knew. I glanced over at the antynoms and they were "compassionate, kind, nice, noble, sympathetic"

     An antynom to mean was sympathic
An antynom to mean is sympathetic
Sym pathetic
Sym.       Pathetic.
You are pathetic with your words to show compassion, kindness, niceness, and nobleness to me. ME. You are not a ******* or a *******, a deadbeat or a waste of space, immature or childish, selfish or conceded. You in fact lack the ability to be sympathetic towards me, not totally apathetic. But just unsympathetic to **** me the *******. And you do it so well.

I sat in history class
Must have been
My senior
Or junior year

On the screen
Came horrible things
Emaciated
Decimated
Human beings

Numbers tattooed
Bodies burnt
Gas chambers
Stories so cruel

Years after we read
Anne Frank’s diary
But no one really had a clue

The pictures
Were part of a documentary
Made to remind us
Of human insanity

Skin and bones
Broken men
Barely left standing
Human suffering

I couldn’t help but cry
But behind me no one else did
And then I couldn’t help but wonder why
No one else felt the same sadness in it