burdening my feet

placed so delicately on my bruised shoulders

the nebulous weight of your being is-

without a question left in heart-

the reason I stand stationary amongst poisonous smiles

Breakers in a misty grey sea-storm,
Spray-foam rising and tossing,
Plunging me into seasick momentum.

I ****** out white stretched palms
And throw back my head,
The salt air stings my throat.

It burns within my chest
While hanging feetless
In the storm driven billows.

I fix my eyes on the
pearly black cloudless night
and beg the stars to anchor me.

He's on top of the mountain
Pulling me up

I'm on the ocean floor
Dragging him down

I cut the rope
And let him go

He's up in the sky
Soaring
Flying
Finally free

I'm no longer his anchor

You help me to recover in the state of confussion
In a room of uncertainty where things are all in blurry
The million thoughts in my mind
You gave me a reason to pour it down and inked it.

You'd shown me how clueless it will be if it is left stored
Maybe your touch told me to break the barriers
Because i read in your eyes a classic story
That made me realize that I can still made the most meaningful form of poetry.
You clean up the mess.
You've touched my heart through a very small spark,
Just as a flower blosoms after the winter
And the ship settle after the storm.

Your once hot-chocolate eyes are now
A cold vortex
Surrounded by ashen skin and
The moon's craters.

Your fragile heart skips another beat
Your breaths are limited
I can no longer be the anchor
of your dying soul.

I study your face, full of
sadness and beauty
Well worn wrinkles
Dimples deep enough
to catch raindrops
Eyelashes, a cradle for snowflakes.

Soft tufts of faded sun-kissed curls lie limply across your forehead.

Your arid lips part as you
draw in a shaky breath.
Like quicksand you slip through
Split seconds.

Do not fear my love,
Do not fight...

It's time to let go,
but tonight,
you will not need your wings to fly.

You called me your guiding star
That's quite true.
I burnt myself
and risked my whole existence
Just to light you way
For a few second

You called me your anchor
That's quite true
I sunk myself
To keep you at one place

You compared me with the moon
I get it now why
I scarred myself for life
just to be noticed,
To stand out
from the darkness
all around me

I gave you my all,
'cause i thought i could be your all
I tried to fix you
ignoring how in the process
I almost bled myself to death
I swallowed shards of glass
and yet never let my smile falter
I Wiped Your Tears
While Mine Were Left Abandoned
To Dry On Their Own
I tried healing your wounds
while mine got deeper

And I swear
I tried my best
To spare our friendship
Losing my love was bad enough
but my best friend too?
How on Earth
was i supposed to get through this

So,
I stayed
Put on my daily show
but you knew me
too well to fall for that facade
And that's whAT hurt most
the warmth in your eyes
that once felt like home
sheltering me from world's cold ways
was now gone
replaced
replaced by this coldness

Your skin
was the only home i ever knew
but i realized,
i was not welcome any more*
And I relized that
that hardest way possible
yet i stayed
'cause i just could not leave
I did not know how to leave
I loved you so frigging much
and everything just kept getting worse
YOU WERE NO LONGER THE SUN
but a blackhole
swallowing all the good memories
devouring them all
till there was not a trace of light
inside me
till there was nothing left to me
till i became the ghost
of the girl who i used to be
And all those good days
they seem like a distant dream
and i don't even know if what i'm writing
makes any sense
my hands won't stop shaking
or my head shouting
it keeps yelling
YOU NEVER FELL FOR ME
YOU SLIPPED
UNKNOWINGLY
A MISTAKE'YOU REGRET EVERY DAY