He's on top of the mountain
Pulling me up

I'm on the ocean floor
Dragging him down

I cut the rope
And let him go

He's up in the sky
Soaring
Flying
Finally free

I'm no longer his anchor

You help me to recover in the state of confussion
In a room of uncertainty where things are all in blurry
The million thoughts in my mind
You gave me a reason to pour it down and inked it.

You'd shown me how clueless it will be if it is left stored
Maybe your touch told me to break the barriers
Because i read in your eyes a classic story
That made me realize that I can still made the most meaningful form of poetry.
You clean up the mess.
You've touched my heart through a very small spark,
Just as a flower blosoms after the winter
And the ship settle after the storm.

Your once hot-chocolate eyes are now
A cold vortex
Surrounded by ashen skin and
The moon's craters.

Your fragile heart skips another beat
Your breaths are limited
I can no longer be the anchor
of your dying soul.

I study your face, full of
sadness and beauty
Well worn wrinkles
Dimples deep enough
to catch raindrops
Eyelashes, a cradle for snowflakes.

Soft tufts of faded sun-kissed curls lie limply across your forehead.

Your arid lips part as you
draw in a shaky breath.
Like quicksand you slip through
Split seconds.

Do not fear my love,
Do not fight...

It's time to let go,
but tonight,
you will not need your wings to fly.

You called me your guiding star
That's quite true.
I burnt myself
and risked my whole existence
Just to light you way
For a few second

You called me your anchor
That's quite true
I sunk myself
To keep you at one place

You compared me with the moon
I get it now why
I scarred myself for life
just to be noticed,
To stand out
from the darkness
all around me

I gave you my all,
'cause i thought i could be your all
I tried to fix you
ignoring how in the process
I almost bled myself to death
I swallowed shards of glass
and yet never let my smile falter
I Wiped Your Tears
While Mine Were Left Abandoned
To Dry On Their Own
I tried healing your wounds
while mine got deeper

And I swear
I tried my best
To spare our friendship
Losing my love was bad enough
but my best friend too?
How on Earth
was i supposed to get through this

So,
I stayed
Put on my daily show
but you knew me
too well to fall for that facade
And that's whAT hurt most
the warmth in your eyes
that once felt like home
sheltering me from world's cold ways
was now gone
replaced
replaced by this coldness

Your skin
was the only home i ever knew
but i realized,
i was not welcome any more*
And I relized that
that hardest way possible
yet i stayed
'cause i just could not leave
I did not know how to leave
I loved you so frigging much
and everything just kept getting worse
YOU WERE NO LONGER THE SUN
but a blackhole
swallowing all the good memories
devouring them all
till there was not a trace of light
inside me
till there was nothing left to me
till i became the ghost
of the girl who i used to be
And all those good days
they seem like a distant dream
and i don't even know if what i'm writing
makes any sense
my hands won't stop shaking
or my head shouting
it keeps yelling
YOU NEVER FELL FOR ME
YOU SLIPPED
UNKNOWINGLY
A MISTAKE'YOU REGRET EVERY DAY

I never asked for this
But when does anybody get what he asks for
or knows what he wants
or what he is chosen for
I only see people
behaving like circus monkeys
not even trained tigers have that look
a tiger is a tiger till death
be careful
It is only your life at stake
too much tolerance breeds blandness
dust under the rug
chatter and gossip
vomited on the radio, the news
injecting fear and chocolate blood
without any risk
spreading only a rotten stench
as if joy meant showing your colgate smile
just like a giant billboard telling you to let go
of the fight
not to resist and become like Mikey Mouse
with four fingers and the grin of death
****** got more style
I’d rather listen to an angry *****
than any anchor woman
or any senator
than any businessman
or lecturer, teacher, parent
I’d rather be depressed
or with a pain in my stomach
like the one I felt when a
frustrated love
told me...
"never change"
when I expected something else

I try to avoid picking up my pen
And scribbling down every thought that comes to mind
It's near impossible
I wish that I didn't think in poetry
That words people speak didn't just linger in the air
I'm so ******* tired of weary eyes and sleepless nights
Because my brain can't stop dreaming up words
I shake myself awake every hour
I know it's not the drugs or the liquor
Because the first thing I grab is my pen
The second be another glass of whiskey
Or coffee to keep my body happy
I don't like the way my brain works
In fact I don't like anything about me
I used to blame my parents for drowning me in disappointment
But I've come to realize that I'm disappointed in myself
And I'm drowning myself with the anchor I tied around my feet
Hoping that this time it'll be heavy enough to keep me down
If not maybe I should wear a noose around my neck
And see if that works better