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Kora Sani Apr 2019
so much to say
feels like there's too much on my plate
i look down to find those I've abandoned
no longer there

this vacancy sits atop of me
scolding my wrongdoings

this plate is as empty as I've let it become
my stomach still crowded
from all the pills that I've swallowed

i know i am the fool of my own ways
telling everyone there's too much
when i can't say i don't feel enough

you know it's a lie

somehow i feel everything
every absence protrudes in my mind
closing the door before i give you a chance to enter
then complain like i do
that i' m always alone

you walk towards me
i run in the other direction
your speed will never match mine
the distance will grow
and you'll probably never know
that i have a love just for you
and i want you to have it
but it's unsafe to enter

i will repeat this pattern
until the inevitable end
my plate will surely be empty
though I won't have to pretend
Humanxyz Apr 2019
He pulled me close...
and told me he was keeping me safe
He told me...
to speak softer cause women have no place
He grabbed...
my hand and said don't go astray
He said...
don't take the chance its not worth the risk
He began to scream...
as i  took another Xanax just to get rid of him today.
Jenna Apr 2019
Every thing,
Every single one
Is repeated
No originality
In a world of fragility
Its pretty short but truthful
Kora Sani Apr 2019
I still look for you in every truck that passes.

6 months and still no sign that you continue to exist in this world
in something more than my memory.

Did anyone ever tell you I was back in town?
Have you gone searching for me?
Do you know what you've done?

You don't know the risk that I take
every time I leave my house.
Preparing to succumb
to a numbness of flashbacks.
Still hoping that our lives
do not cross paths again.

But I'm ready,
nonetheless,
to plot my escape.
If ever we are boxed in;
in gas stations or supermarkets
in dog parks or local bars.
The bright red lights of each exit sign;
embedded into my memory.
They are the light at the end of a sunless journey.

My plans aren't guaranteed, though
because I don't know what I'd do
if I were to ever see your face again.
I think that'd I run.

It wasn't until today; 6 months later,
that I wondered why I've been looking
for the person that frightens me the most.

So I won't look at the trucks that I pass as I drive.

I don't care if you're in them.
Just an average day living with PTSD.
Mya Apr 2019
In the mists of all the thunder and lighting
I made a decision
to strengthen my bond with my dad
before its too late
I do not want to die not knowing that my parents
truly love me
because for some time
I felt like no one loved me
people may like me but never love
and the fact that I was never able to accept any love
left me emotionally in a coma
I did not know how to react to things that most people would
and I still dont
I am willing to learn how to
but I am still afraid
I know that writing this probably means nothing to other people
but to me, it is going to be like a written contract to myself
to make new moments happen
Hello Daisies Apr 2019
Will i ever be loved?
Will i ever be anyone's first?
Will i ever be noticed?

they tell me it's in my head
But they don't see what i see
I'm always a last choice

Am i wanted?
Am i needed?
Am i special?

They say god loves me
They say he chose me
Yet all i hear is deafening silence

I scrape and claw
For attention
I end up ******
And scarred

Others merely exist
People go to them
Giving affection
Without being begged

Here i am
Where i always knew
Sitting alone
With a hangover overblown

I've never been noticed
Even if i act out
I could scream and shout
No-one will look

How can i live
How can i be ok
How can i breathe
How do i accept lonliness

Maybe one day
I'll write a song
Of love and warmt
And not wavering sadness
And desperation

Maybe..
            Some...
                         Day
Im livinf on my own nkw...the guy i like i realize...doesn't...like me...as usual. It's ok. Theres  something about me everyone denies it but there is that cuases people to forget me
ANU IRA Apr 2019
I am "OK"...
Just for the sake of saying it!
WHY DO I GET TO SEE YOU?
LIKE SERIOUSLY WHYYY???
When I am having a breakdown so HIGH!
I just smile for others in the fear to not freak out,
cause they insist,
I am nowhere overhere
WHY DO I EVEN EXIST?
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