so much to say
feels like there's too much on my plate
i look down to find those I've abandoned
no longer there

this vacancy sits atop of me
scolding my wrongdoings

this plate is as empty as I've let it become
my stomach still crowded
from all the pills that I've swallowed

i know i am the fool of my own ways
telling everyone there's too much
when i can't say i don't feel enough

you know it's a lie

somehow i feel everything
every absence protrudes in my mind
closing the door before i give you a chance to enter
then complain like i do
that i' m always alone

you walk towards me
i run in the other direction
your speed will never match mine
the distance will grow
and you'll probably never know
that i have a love just for you
and i want you to have it
but it's unsafe to enter

i will repeat this pattern
until the inevitable end
my plate will surely be empty
though I won't have to pretend