I remember
                    one night we got so drunk
         on our porch under blankets
     I systematically
covered
     in cigarette
                   ash.
              dusted off
and started again
                                                      I swear
that night, under twinkle lights
                               I always think cast such a warm
                    glow,
          and drip golden,

I swear,
               that night,
Our Passion
                      bubbled like the carbonation in our bellies
And I stopped myself
                                      from saying I Love You.

I remember
                     on Christmas,
we laid on the couch
                                     all day
and didn't see or speak
                               to anyone else.
Watched movie
                        after movie
                                  after movie
Until we both sunk    
into each other
so deep    
                                 half asleep with commitment
              to laziness
      Until I couldn't tell
where my body
                   ended and yours
           began
It was the best Christmas I've ever had.

And I remember
           how you looked
       the night you told me
                              it was over
My breath
                                            caught
and cracked
                             like
                                       ice
Stuck
           between esophagus
                                                 and lung
like our bathroom pipes.

You must have said
                                                  "ex-lover"
hal­f a dozen times or more.

I remember
                     thinking how inappropriate
it was that as I was listening to you
             And all I wanted was
to kiss the anger
             from your lips

I'm not sure why I ever stopped myself
             from loving you until
the very last second,
But I think you're right.
       I thought I couldn't deserve you
and instead of fighting,
                      I put my hands up,
threw down
           a white flag.
In the end, I didn't deserve you
Your quiet power,
                                  Your Moon-child Grace.
If nothing else,
                           this time,
I will learn
      from my mistakes.

He is a lit cigarette.

He
     keeps you in
water
          beer and
                   good conversation.
His kisses
                   are like bonfire
                   on summer nights.
                                All passion
drunken laughter, a night full of stars.

He is a lit cigarette.
Harmful
               to your lungs,
               to your heart.
He will be gone
                            be gone
       before the summer breeze
has finished
                     kissing your cheeks.

He is a lit cigarette.
And he will burn out
                      before you're ready
But ******
                                He
tastes
          so
   ­           good
And you crave him.

let us plan a future, a life beyond here
map our journey, then rearrange
tear up the remaining, and toss it aside
take me everywhere, in no place particular
discover a new corner of the world
find a cranny under a tree
kiss me under painted skies
and stare into my eyes in one of the world's wonders
make the land jealous of your touch
make the branches dance in eagerness of your attention
take me to places hidden away from the eyes of anyone
this world squanders the beauty of its abandoned secrets
let us seek and discover what it has hidden
hidden underground the fresh and damp dirt
hidden behind walls of vegetation
hidden beside rocks in forceful rivers winding through open land
and maybe, find ourselves hidden within the world itself

the sweet sound of your voice in the breeze
the musky scent of your cologne
the wrinkles in your cheeks when you smile
these memories engraved in my memory, my conscious brain
and so much more realistic than any vivid dream

your warmth and comfort under a dark sky  
your lips, oh hell, the beginning of a sweet, kind addiction
your hand held in mine, a physical connection separate from emotion
these comforts, my dreams, fulfilled by one sole human
and so wonderfully admirable

the butterflies captured inside of my stomach
the giggles after moments of affection and kind fighting
the fingertips tracing little crevasses of exposed skin
its this that left its mark, like a bruise
your fingerprints left each memory of us captive, hostage

in my sweet memories, these moments last
but in reality, they live more vividly

I was afraid because I could observe him day after day and not find one thing I didnt like about him.

I adored him.

Maybe we'll meet again one day at a coffee shop in the city and then, the timing will be right