All she ever wanted was to be loved the way she loved everybody else day in and day out;
She desired to be craved and she didn’t care how; she’d do anything to get that love without a doubt.
So all the boys took advantage of her fragility and broke her into pieces until there was nothing but residue left about.

You treated me just like a cigarette
and thus became my biggest regret.
You ignited my soul beyond anything I’ve ever experienced before,
but then you gained everything you ever wanted; so you ****** the life out of me more and more,
and then you reached the end and finally you happily threw me away and left me to burn out on the floor.

I looked at the time, it was seven o'clock,
we were having a party and I was in my best frock.
We were partying away - my friends and I -
dancing around in the moonlit sky.

Drinking away I was starting to feel funny,
when my friend Harry said to me "come in, honey".
Drunk, I followed - I trusted him dearly.
He was going to look after me, I could see it clearly.

But soon I found out that he actually wanted me,
and as he got on top of me, darkness was all I could see.
He lifted up my dress and pulled down my knickers,
and as he did what he had to do, all I could taste in my mouth were liquors.

I told him "no" and told him to stop fiercely,
but instead he carried on and laughed in my ear harshly.
He ****** himself deeper inside,
as he chose to ignore my cries.

I couldn't push him off, he was too heavy,
all colour drained from my face and I began to feel empty.
He was high on drugs and alcohol fuelled,
and he carried on throughout the night until he was fulfilled.

The next day I woke up ****** and feeling *****,
I was covered in bruises and I was full of worry.
My lipstick was smeared and my hair full of knots,
and on my body there were scratches - lots and lots.

Now I'm sitting here three months on,
I've been dealing with this pain alone for far too long.
I swallow the hundreds of pills I've saved up,
and wash them down with alcohol from the drinking cup.

You separate my pages,
Lay me paper-down on the table,
And pull my covers together behind my back
So that I lay flat when you read.
My binding exposed,
You’re not surprised to see
I’m kept together by just a few, thin threads.

All this ink, and neither of us can get past the frailty of my physique.

I walk down the sidewalk,
Past dull brick buildings scribbled with graffiti.
Even when we were together,
You acted like you couldn’t see me when I walked into a room,
And you didn’t take out your ear buds when I was talking to you.
I imagine a blade slicing through my neck,
Sliding cleanly through my solid, peachy skin
And then slipping through my trachea and arteries and cartilage.
I imagine this all happening very quick.
I pass by Macatelli’s and those pink tutus in the window that you made me wear for a laugh with your friends.
I went along with it just to make you smile.
I pick my way across the train tracks to get to the north side of town.
My green Nikes crunch over the cracked and gravely sidewalks.
Your mouth always folded down in a smirk whenever I read my poetry,
Saying they were all about ***
When you knew I just meant love.
I imagine the blade as it gets stopped short, caught on my spinal cord.
It carves through most of it,
Leaving my head to just kind of hang there by that one little shard of bone,
Dangling about my body like a grape on a vine.
I turn to go down Fifth Street,
Where you grabbed my *** last week and giggled as you kept walking.
I stood there frozen, terrified, as you twirled around to ******* the most poisonous kiss that ever floated through this air.
Even though we broke up months ago.
My head droops down onto my shoulder,
Unable to fully decapitate.
Through the few veins that are still attached,
The blood continues to pump.

Haven’t you done enough?
Oh, Charlotte Denver, won’t you just let me die.

I gave you all the power to destroy and **** me,
and piece by piece you mutilated me to debris.
You left more than a bad taste on my tongue;
and you forced stories within me to go unsung.

While I held onto your toxicity I failed to grow,
but once I'd fled your ghastly hold, I began to glow.
I stopped being a **** and grew my petals,
I blossomed into a beautiful flower while you remained a stinging nettle.

Now the tastes of alcohol and cigarettes no longer
remind me of you in the way they once did. No, I'm stronger.
The things you did to me are memories that have stained,
but I will not let you define who I am; by you I will no longer be drained.

You're shouting at me
Your words cut through me like fragments
Fragments of glass
The temperature in the room is rising
I feel the heat approaching
I need to leave, escape.

I turn round and put my back to you
You grab my arm, pulling me over
So I see your face
Your eyes, the colour of water
Convince me to forgive you
Your words change, they start to extinguish the inferno

The fire is out, all that's left is smoke
Clinging to the walls of my heart
Masking all the burns I have
From all that you've put me through
Your true reflection I loathe
But I forever want to be blinded by the smoke

I wish I wasn’t myself
Maybe then he would love me
I wish my head didn’t make my mouth lose control
If I could speak in such a way he wanted to listen to
I would
But I don’t know how
I lost my voice

she hadn't
felt anything
for so
long
she started
to thank people
for hurting her.