Emptiness in the eyes
that once held a burning passion
outlined by my silhouette.
Ice and fire never realize the point where they both burn
Vacancy advertised in neon blues
Full, glows red in searching burnt amber
No answers
No notice of eviction
Where did you go?
What lies did you see?
What lies did they tell?

I only said   -   I love you
If only I could        -        take it back.

I
was always free

Not left nor right

But where I stood for each occasion

Neither judgemental or nonchalant

Seeking the truth not truths

I line my brain with thought

And leave my heart for emotion

The truth is not elusive

Nor is it an illusion

But it is prone to perspective

Of which, if you have many,

Can see it line up in plain sight

Never wrong or right,

(I leave that for the opinions).

Just there,

ready for your interpretation.

oh the dreams Ive had,

some so close to reality it took my breath away!



but I had too much desire to fight them

and not enough time to stoke them



I pushed everything that I am into everyone else

hoping that one day I would turn around

and find my dreams there.



but still deep inside

I did not believe I deserved happiness



You told me I was wrong



day after day you told me to hold on

you said you would prove it

day after day you dragged me toward happiness



and now,

I finally believe you.



<3

Time wavers in and out,
a serpentine force pushing us further apart
seconds are long and cruel as I hunt the space of time searching
Quavers ducking in and out of sync
I find you just as you're gone
only to turn and find you there and blink to lose you yet again
erroneous time you have not been a kind father to me
running out on me the second I think you're there
and never coming when I'm dying for you to pass me by
If love is truly held for all the bastions of time
then you are a *******
shoving me to live in the past and withhold my future
winding twisted in your linear disguise,
I knew when I fell over you that you dip and double back
trip me up at every turn, then pick me up
only to play thoughtlessly with heart beats that suffer your dastardly designs
if only you were real then perhaps
I could rip you apart and find the fragments I'm looking for
and deny your passing as you deny my right to closure.

------

The peace finally settles begrudgingly,
Wrestled down by logic
a restless defiant twitch still huffing under its breath lingers
I force my self to bestow the usual cruelty,
Indifference.

-------

My mind is now my own.
Dissertations written at lighting speed across my mind scape
Once flashing dire warnings, fade.

------

I breathe deeply...
It's time for me to unfurl,  lay myself out like a star
And soak in the glorious day
Melt away the furrows and deep valleys of concern
And focus on a bright future of freedom and whimsy romance

-------

Who the **** am I kidding?
----

I take roads much longer to travel
in my heart hoping they lead to you.

I find remnants of your heart splatters
whenever I'm not looking for them.

it seems you and I are born of the same dust and
find our wells full of inkstains and heart scrawls

yet, nothing to drink from;
nowhere to float down and settle over each other,
like the coming home seen in true love's stardust trails
written in the heavens


--------------------------------------<@>-----------------------------------------


Why are we so lost?
Why cant we go forward without running back?

Jumping from star to star and falling back down
fading into another's atmosphere

Faultless in our ideas of love
yet unable to find a fold or a crease
that fits us corner to dog-earred corner

Falling stars making wishes that never come true

I Suppose it's the right thing to tear it all up
rather than let the characters of our love notes fade.



--------------------------------------<@>-----------------------------------------



My impossible love,

You are also impossible to leave in any intangible way
Your soul speaks my language
your heart beats my song,
your ink draws mirrored designs on my heart spaces

We  fall on barren landscapes
carried away by the current and swirls of this life

I still hold the promise of the next in my hands
waiting for ashes to ashes and
finally dust resting on dust.

Soft floating embers rise
from the fires of long remembered desires
Slowly twisting and twirling  like a sensual  dance
My thoughts reach out to capture the moments
before the cradled embers die
and fade one last time.

(Scribblenaughts and swoon theories) (c)

The stars part
The comets hail our victory over the death of love
Galaxies cartwheel
The fanfares of supernovas herald our impending union
Finally after tracing each trail of ether humming your frequency,
Looking under and over every last hope
Twisting into one dimension after the next
To feel this indefinable moment of chasing so close now,
Through everlasting travels to find eacother over uncountable millenia,  
Infinite universes with nothing but a burning desire to find you
Tracing the whispers left as webs  crossing the universe
Drawing the constellations marking our tribulations,
And declarations of love with glittered lines
As signs to bring you closer,
As answers to your own markings
To show you where I've been,
Where i'm going,
Like notes in the sand.
Only the lines got crossed and the countless glyphs so many
In desperation became scribblenaughts
And my desperate hope to find you an endless exercise in swoon theories;
All leading to this one true moment when I hold you in my gaze
Will you remember me for what the whole universe is now
Ablaze?

I'm here,
I'm on your frequency,
In your atmosphere
Love,
Please say you remember me?

The search for besuty
in the fires of your heart
start at warmth of it and never ends

at its inception
the masterful makers of heart fires
marked you out as extraordinary

I am captivated by the feeling
well before I see it burning in your eyes
Take me with you
light me up like a burning man effigy
explode my heart into a million stars
to chase across the skies
with one simple yess
a doorway
to a thousand and more exhilarating deaths
and rebirths

Set me alight
with all the colours of your love
x

They change,

but some how

all manage to look the same

Each turn

Bright lights and

Noisy confusion

Or

Dark alleys and

Deafening silence

Searching for some semblance of familiar

In a world of too much and

Never enough

No void unfilled

No concrete undefiled

Its been ages since you left

But it feels like I only saw you a moment ago

Shapes shifting

lights fading

Fear glows like a beacon

Anxiety on watch

Desperation clutches

Dread sneaks in

Hope kisses good bye

left to my own devices

Clawing are vices

Caught breath

Pent up sigh

Round again

Same old lies

I miss you sanity

Lost sometimes.

---

It was raw and it was undeniably there.

it shook my world and I  relished it

i fought it tooth and nail

i dragged the last of my sanity and self respect

and told my self it wasn't right

and I fought the electricity between our skin

i fought the chemistry and passion

I waited years to take you out of me

to breathe without thinking you

But in that crystal clear moment,

a glorious awaking.

it happened;

and

nothing else

mattered.

All.
Not one but all,
No true hate was ever born
without love abandoned,
rejected, abused, or scorned
Love is every positive and negative
facet of emotion
Divine and literal

Its wealth disguised by its true name -

Agapi.

Without this blind fumbling fool
We are of no use, no consequence,
no matter.
Where there is no love,
there is no existence
Only inertia.

Your deepest hate
is your deepest love in reverse
these can never be separated;
except by degrees.
like a galactic elastic band;
as far as you go for one,
you will enviably be flung to the other.
That's how energy survives,
it changes form but never dies
and life is love in all its forms

And

You are its expression devine

Turn out the lights
Just for tonight
Let's forget our slights

Take me in your warm arms
Let me feel the heart I long for
Forget the words that cut our souls apart
Hold my world up one more time

Turn out the lights
Just for tonight
Let's forget our flights

tomorrow the let pain come
But tonight, let that ring stand for somethin again
I just want to hold you tangled up
crawl up inside you one more time

Turn out the lights
Just for tonight
Let's forget our spites

Let it crash and burn in the morn
but give us that chance to bring it all back
Touch my soul again as if it were brand new*

As clear and full of hope
as the day I left heaven
and fell for you

The language of love
Is not intricate,
not the tracings of love notes in the sand
Nor the filigree in the swirls of seduction
The fine details of romance soon fade
These are subterfusions
For withering hopes
The language of love
Is honest and raw
As painful as it is sublime
Holds no words
And tells no lies
Tethers gently while letting go
And for us,
untranslatable
Because we don't speak anymore.
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The nights fervour flashes  through my mind
A bolt of excitement rushes though my chest
Hot flushes sweet aches of restlessness
memories of you
your smell fills my senses
Long sensuous strokes
Desperate jerks of madness
wanton abandon
Deep pleasures of darkness and light
Warm colours,
Cool shades
landscapes and escapades
Shallow breaths
And stunning gasps
You turned me inside out
And back again
But now so hollow
The space you were lain
Your warmth now faded,
Only memories remain