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S Smoothie Oct 2014
You know how you **** me in tiny pieces

each molecule a more painful death.

I die a little each day to love you more

I lose all sense of understanding

acceptance is all there is

a slow sure death

a painful ride to heaven through hell

and there's no other way to go

not so easy when you have to stare your fate in the eye

watching yourself die

one molecule at a time

glad that it even happens at all.
S Smoothie Jan 2017
She fell hard
He softened
Time was not kind
Neither was serendipity
They clasped hands and lips
And said the longest goodbye.
23
S Smoothie Nov 2016
23
Such a pure longing for our chemistry intertwined
how the effervescence gives way to such a rich full bodied happiness
always fleeting with such consuming intensity
A profound impacting of souls suspended over us indefinately

such a slow fade to ok
such a long drop from joy
comfotably numb until the next moment serendipity plays with our vibrations
calling on fate to pacify her whims
such a beautifully cruel couplet
tortourously satisfying while constantly feeding the hunger
it happens with such imperfect frequency
i hum my song to your tune
youre almost gone now
getting comfortable again

I smile,
I'm just about to fade
and your song is on the radio
number 23
Chain smokers don't let me down
Perfect strangers
44
S Smoothie Aug 2018
44
The years grow into pain
as easily as laughter and sorrows
The hard press of coals
and
washing of grit from crystaline diamonds
Reveals each facet
Another view of The faces tragedy and comedy,
like Hope after disaster
Careless memories float off in the wind,
another casualty of life's isms is taken
A broad brush,
but a magnificent master stroke
We knit ourselves in and out of entwinement
Searching for the immaculate fit
Faced with rebirth or endless eternity
No Mark of pain goes without the blessing
No laughter goes unrelished
For all the love and hope in the world
rests with one thought
one idea
One action
One desire
One cure
Agape
Love, riding the Tails of hope
on the beast of tragedy
All is mitigated and put right,
If not this time, then next
And nothing is lost forever
life is the great mystery,
that we must never solve
Lest we know it all,
Suddenly dissolved into nothingness!
that would be the only true tragedy
Of the aeons and of the ages of ages
To ever be cast upon the seas of eternity
45
S Smoothie Aug 2018
45
Differences are contrasts
that make me take stock
view points change
according to the casting of the shadows
we can not ever hope to know the whole truth
so grab your flickers with both hands tightly
and never let go
logic fails where love conquers
and deception mimics truth so sweetly,
so innocently
it defies suspicion.
popular agreement is heralded
by the herald only
no thinking necessary
we loved to be told what is what
true sheep
never looking twice just following the herd
but the blackest ones
the prized and persecuted ones
they were lions in wool
and more black lambs are becoming rams
and the mirror hiding truth will crack
and the Walls of our confines will be broken
only problem is
how do we know we want it?
want the unknown
sounds awfully complicated to me?
which pied piper will we choose?
and if we could
who would let us live
peacefully without interruption
our truths
Our beliefs
our customs
our souls
our love
our peace
our true self determination
without the need for cattle prods
and gags
slaughter houses of reality
playing on my mind
begging the realisiation
of my soul.
S Smoothie Sep 2018
The wick was primed, lit and trimmed regular like
the steadfast held on to the faint light of hope
if not for thier all
but all others
they shielded it from the wind
and the rain
and fed it with love and devotion
so it burned steady,
bright but not glaring
and they had to look hard
but all who searched
found it
Then lit their own wicks
primed and trimmed regular like
and just like that
it grew
and love happened
And they became free
because they could finally
see.
Hope is a collective
S Smoothie Mar 2018
just remember I love you
no matter what you think I think
you don’t have to agree
you just have to accept
that I love you
you are perfect
beautiful
and I love you
you were wonderfully and fearfully made
to be tested and be strengthened
in my love regardless
of your successes or failures
nothing will make me abandon you
please don’t abandon me.
love and blessings,
always.
Agapi
S Smoothie Jun 2014
it was a cool breezy sunset

the colours of passion swallowed up the skies

and chased the sun

dragging the starlights over the sea.

a chill set in.

I wished to hell I had his arms around me

only the warmth of his memory remained

and that kind of warmth

does nothing for the lonely chill in this cold night air.
S Smoothie Jul 2018
The worn old Black velvet sky with a multitude of clustered pinholes where light escaped its restraints to slip through and rest gently on the blackened earth. A wonder of the ever searching light and the void of darkness that held it at bay. Whatever the contortion; shadows, light and darkness, danced between life and death, obscurity and revelation, hovering between the fragile tensions. If there was another way, none would use it. It has been this way from the first inkling of the memory of the beginning and like such entrenchedaditions, none saw the value of variants as the aeons proved. But ,just once in every billions of realities, there is one exception that brings with it a cataclysmic brilliance, that propels all consciousness and reason into a new birth, a newness of creation, with new realities unfolding, creating a new stream of well worn traditions. May they be ever more in the light of ether’s unfolding story of depths and heights, for the joy is in overcoming endlessly, a new and unfathomable task of enlightenment and a constant serarch for the ever expanding, ever changing now and then, through always.
S Smoothie Jul 2018
Tapped on the shoulder,
a brushing feathered kiss on my skipping heart
I came through the darkness with the revelation
floated on a breeze of freshness and clarity!
too much relief to brush off with any resistance
I melted into the wind caught up in an exorcism of the gentlest kind,
nudged and hugged into peaceful surrender
and just as I was washed outside
the tickles snuck around and opened up a smile.
Not content, it gently forged a giggle and like a burst dam
laughter tumbled down!
sweet air rushed inside and cleaved all the darkness
from inside of me
with each and every breath it got clearer, brighter!
a spark of joy was lit
it hung about me
raised me in the air light as a feather,
as innocent and light
as I had never been since before I could remember
now freshness imbued became my very good friend
and I invited it in often.
There is no pain but physical the rest is morning a past that does not exist any more and stealing a future of beauty you are refusing to create. Hugss
S Smoothie Oct 2015
I'm here,
I'm on your frequency,
In your atmosphere
Love,
Please say you remember me?
Part of something bigger
S Smoothie Jul 2019
As I step on to the precipice of the unknown

I don't dare look down;

instead I trusted that once that step was taken

I flew.



The whistling of doubt swirling around my ears

Drowned out by the scream of delight

Free falling to uncertainty



I never bothered to learn how to fly

I had too much faith

All broken wings are mended



control is nothing but a choice

And never have I ever run out of choices



The best choice I have ever made

Is to call a ***** a *****

Never to doubt my self in anything

That mistakes aren't real

A course of action is simply a choice

and a collection of reactions

That don't exist except in a memory



I am always in control of my reactions

And that's why I didn't flinch when you threw my dignity to the floor

I walk out and left it



Obviously you were in need of some.



Excuse me, but I have other choices to make

Get the **** out of my way



I'm gonna fly!
Come fly with me!
S Smoothie Dec 2013
what am i but a collection of blunt truths

and searing love punctuated with a soft touch

an algorythym to your ultimate pain



there is no world like the heart

where the soul can be what it wants

my soul will forever tamper with yours

I will cherish the pull of one

and resent the protection of the other



nothing here but cold strength,

obedience and suffering

intollerable cruelty and a love to spite all loves

burning fires of quiet destruction



I crave the perfection I cant touch

I feel and hear as if it was my heartbeat



what am i but a collection of blunt truths,

searing love punctuated with a soft touch

and a desperate desire for oneness

in a heart designed for two



an algorythym beating out endless pain
because you wont unlove me
S Smoothie Aug 2021
He came and rested

like a bird on my shoulder  

Cautiously testing the suitability

and equilibrium of his perch

After a few inquisitive glances,

he seemed to ease.

I let out a slow careful breath...

Then another...

and rather gently built up a rhythm

so as not to startle him

lest he fly away.

And seemingly resolved,

he inched closer

till I could feel the flutter of his breast

and the gentle nuzzling of his head on my ear

My conciousness bade him welcome

such beautiful iridescent blues

straddled his white breast

and piercing blue eyes peered through

a velveteen mask

nestled upon a darkened beak

A striking fellow.

his weary feet belied his beautiful veneer

upon closer inspection,

I notice a small part of him missing,

maybe caught in some fierce struggle for life,

I had enjoyed him fluttering and flitting about weaving such wonderful things with trinkets collected from his travels

There was something ethereal,

yet lonesome in his posture

like that of a wise man

whose trials had marked

the strength of the lines

in his weary well travelled face

but a youthfulness glowed beneath

that smiling eyes could betray in an instant.

It felt like he knew me.

An old friend of the cosmos

that I'd crossed by and by.

And when I dared

and he dared,

our eyes met

and instantly our souls

recognised some ancient promise.

After an endless moment of acquiescence

He began to whisper his mystical wanderings chasing the astral turning of tides.

He whispered ancient mysteries in my ear,

of being lost in endless Odyssey's

revealing our secret truths laid amongst the stars waiting to transform

and reunite in some spectacular way,

some new creation

to flush away the yearning of brighter ways.

I pointed them out to him on the horizon

and I did my best to assure him they were there,

it was then that I spotted that low bow that

broke bare and it hung there

In front of him like a stalking giant,

oh well I whispered

"what's the meaning of existence,

if at least we don't try?"

And off we flew in a different direction

searching for some metaphorical chainsaw

to make for a clearer view.

We couldn't help but feel we were missing something...
A little inspiration
S Smoothie Jun 2017
Stopped.
Time and heartbeats suspended
Eyes wide open
two way mirrors share soul secrets
Pain measured out equally
Agreements made
----
The test is written
The answers soldered into melting irises
Faith is the prescription
Love, the only cure.
S Smoothie Dec 2020
We float over solvent crystals of life

Glistening in the all glory of our stars might

The wind winding round us

Sweeping up minute glitter

flicking the crystaline particles of life

As sparkles of radiance on our skin

A complement to sparkles in our eyes

A temporal tunnel borrowing the depths of faith

A moment hung in eternity

A transpiring of unspoken gifts and promises

Asilent understanding

A pledge of love in every realm promised

Agreement in the slow blink of an eye

sealed with polite fervour as a

Kiss over the salt waters

Cleansed and anointed by

The salt of the earth and holiness of the

Eternal presence the one who spoke existence

Consecrated by the eternal agapi in the struggle

Of the mystical meanings and the free will of our love.



A living story.
Blessings and love ss
S Smoothie Feb 2018
Valentines, yeah, I've had a few

Secret admirers? dozens

Broken hearts? A couple of those too.

Crazy adventures? Oh, Plenty!

Blessings, too many to count,

Miracles certainly!

But, nothing, nothing compares to you

My love,

the best part of my best days

The highest of my highs

In my darkest days

And longest nights

You ******* alive!

I know implicitly,

You are the one

the title is yours
Happy valentines Hp crew !
S Smoothie Dec 2014
Lifted gaze,
wonderment envelops me.
Wandering stars never too far from home
Cradled in your dark velvet swaths
How you dance in your procession lines and careful swirls of infinity
Which of your glittering hoards are assigned to my lonely heart?
where do I start?
my soul's beacon burns so bright,
Where are you my guiding light?
What colour is your frquency?
is it the same colour as mine?
are we of the same hue, or complementary opposites copper and cobolt blue?
What colour does our love shine together ?
swirls of purple blues and pinky red hues?
perhaps together we shine twice as bright?
little glitter beads of light,
lead me to a love to last forever through the streams of time
a glittered dart to show the way across the endless velvet dark
to the other half of my vacant longing heart
are we destined to be together or endlessly apart?

Am i destined to a life gazing upon the velvet dark,
wondering which speck of glitter is yours, and which is mine?
In the meantime; I kinda like that blue one.
it matches my mood.


*Unbeknownst to her aching heart just behind  a star just like hers only bluer twinkled brightly in her past.
S Smoothie Aug 2014
the eyes of my soul have been opened

tears on dust

dead hearts and headless bodies



the mark of the beast rising

crucified by lucifer

and he cries our lord is his name

not begotten, but made.



Where there is no mercy there is no God.

there is no lord without compassion

I will not be fooled by fears

I will hold my faith high



I hold on inspite of my fear of whats to come

I draw arcs crossing over in the sand

I breathe courage from the lord

the holy comforter



tears on dust

heartless deeds on ***** hands

our Martyrs are not lost,

they are cradled in the ***** of heaven

for only their evil acts will bring us saints

there is no greater honour to suffer,

no greater glory,

let our saints grow in number,

holy, holy martyr

let the angels outnumber the demons

the holy war is eternal

for every lost innocent taken by evil

an other worldly battle is won,

the trupets are sounding

the seals are broken,

Lord have mercy

before we are capable of none.
S Smoothie Jan 2017
I'm a drunken fool sobering up on love
I chase the three sheets in the wind
wishing you were behind them
one peak
one touch
whisky dreams fade to burnt amber
glass towers loom
another empty cup
viewd through whiskey tears
taunting a vacant heart
S Smoothie Aug 2018
A world of starss between them
their hearts reached out for eachother at the end of each passing revelation
revolving in the same matter
as if the distance could be mitigated somehow,
by touching the same space only worlds apart
he traced their names in the stars and she traced out thier hearts intertwined
alas, the end was ne’er in sight
the mysteries of why were too mystical to ponder
and creation filled the void with challenges, love and light.
thinking back to when they were new
they had shone brightly with innocence
the span of things was endless, but had allowed limited exploration
the One had called them unawares
and rushing back like obedient children
with great anticipation of what grand joy was at hand
immersed in the mysteries revealed
it was then they lost eachother
caught in different planes by a different set of stars
beyond the eye of the black hole created by the break in his heart
and the shattering of hers.
Searching in opposite polarities aeons apart the matter ever expanded
passing eachother withn a blink of an eye
but without words a universe was said;
Iris to Iris, soul to soul,
touching the same matter as eachother
only, aeons apart...
S Smoothie Jul 2018
A world of starss between them
their hearts reached out for eachother at the end of each passing revelation
revolving in the same matter
as if the distance could be mitigated somehow,
by touching the same space only worlds apart
he traced their names in the stars and she traced out thier hearts intertwined
alas, the end was ne’er in sight
the mysteries of why were too mystical to ponder
and creation filled the void with challenges, love and light.
thinking back to when they were new
they had shone brightly with innocence
the span of things was endless, but had allowed limited exploration
the One had called them unawares
and rushing back like obedient children
with great anticipation of what grand joy was at hand
immersed in the mysteries revealed
it was then they lost eachother
caught in different planes by a different set of stars
beyond the eye of the black hole created by the break in his heart
and the shattering of hers.
Searching in opposite polarities aeons apart the matter ever expanded
passing eachother withn a blink of an eye
but without words a universe was said;
Iris to Iris, soul to soul,
touching the same matter as eachother
only, aeons apart...
S Smoothie Feb 2014
Twisted and bent over
By just the thought of it;
Why rapture must come
With such intolerable cruelty
The Gods only know.



They wield us like toys in
A careless game of wits
for some bemusement

If I Were to dare and venture forth
to find the golden chord

and climb up to the stairway of heaven;



I would pluck the very eyes of Athena
and Themis and swap them in kind
So they may see eachothers minds

And cast upon it a blessing
cured of this sickly and ravaged
Regretted remorse that bodes
In the hearts and souls of weak men.



The shame travels in cycles
the pain is constant
broken only by fleeting moments
Of hope and regretful longings.



I Sailed with this ship of fools
To find the golden fleece
Knew full well that
The ends of the world
Will still fail to appease.



there is no god or immortal
That I serve except this *******;
And yet, the unrighteous lover
Renews my faith in love?



**** the gods
for making a device of heart so voracious
And easily spaced for the fitting of loves and pain,
duty and honor and every other
cruel twisted trick tied by a harp string
That tugged at will could test the thresholds
That torment always breaks.



Keep your gods and
Masters of cruel fates

I will follow none
And will wait for death

till I row the strokes to bring

that of the netherworld and beyond,



Just to find and ****** in zeuses
Wretched heart

the one he gave me by his stake
And watch him melt and burn and suffer
Twisted over and bent

finally to understand his cruel mistake
S Smoothie Jan 2017
Hauled over the back end of the bed
spread eagled and faced down,
plunging your **** deep inside
***** deep is when you decided to say I love you,
but you couldnt say it when I said it looking into your eyes
at my birthday dinner and June was there watching.

----------------

i flicked the toast over
buttered side to buttered side
just the way you liked it
it was a small thing
I didn't do anymore
you never said a word,
but you knew not to complain
It was the apartment in Brussels when I surprised you
I noticed the toast
and smell of her *** on your fingers.

-----------

She he pushed her stiletto heel into his **** as he both begged her not to and calling her god. She knew he liked it but it kind of left her feeling disappointed. She was rather hoping she was enough.

------------

******* are funny things
I usually forget all about them
excpt when you walk in the room
they just want to leap out and attach themselves to your mouth
clamouring for the privilege of being first.

--------------


your words are sharp and cruel
the sudsy sink hides the long blade clutched
slowly prying opening up a clamshell
your body is rude, imposing,
poking and prodding.
still I can't help but gasp as fingertips nuzzle into my crotch
anticipation of the violence used to free the tight hollow
but this time is different, somehow wary
gently tugged to the side, thumb caressing lips
Puckered crevices fill as soft nudges burn with warmth
gently deeper,
the handle clutched tighter trying to grasp on to anything solid
The veil now lifted you sink ******* leaving me with authority
i sudden shock wet lips on wet lips pulses of pleasure ripple
suddenly Im moving into you begging for more
smooth skin glides up my calf and inner thigh the knife released
to Shepard you in you resist mesmerized that the tables have turned so easily,
Finally with all the confidence of a tyrant you begin unleash yourself only you froze, pulled out and walked away.
For ***** sake! and I swore to my self I would drive that god ****** knife into your heart today. You *******! And just like that. The game just changed.

-------------------

Coffee for one again
usually there's two
so you must be ******
was it when I mentioned that name
yu know, when we were both writhing naked on the floor?
It was a simple comparison.
Why so sensitive?
It only happened once.

----------------

the jam sat on the table next to the tea and scones
eyes over easy we looked at each other as she pottered around looking for the cucumber for her sandwiches, she found it in an odd place
and served them as if she had served the queen. We ate them of course most satisfyingly as she harped on about what you did and didn't like
we both agreed we especially liked our cucumber sandwiches,
all the while with your hand in my thighs.
S Smoothie Jan 2017
Hauled over the back end of the bed
spread eagled and faced down,
plunging your **** deep inside
***** deep is when you decided to say I love you,
but you couldnt say it when I said it looking into your eyes
at my birthday dinner and June was there watching.

----------------

i flicked the toast over
buttered side to buttered side
just the way you liked it
it was a small thing
I didn't do anymore
you never said a word,
but you knew not to complain
It was the apartment in Brussels when I surprised you
I noticed the toast
and smell of her *** on your fingers.

-----------

She he pushed her stiletto heel into his **** as he both begged her not to and calling her god. She knew he liked it but it kind of left her feeling disappointed. She was rather hoping she was enough.

------------

******* are funny things
I usually forget all about them
excpt when you walk in the room
they just want to leap out and attach themselves to your mouth
clamouring for the privilege of being first.

--------------


your words are sharp and cruel
the sudsy sink hides the long blade clutched
slowly prying opening up a clamshell
your body is rude, imposing,
poking and prodding.
still I can't help but gasp as fingertips nuzzle into my crotch
anticipation of the violence used to free the tight hollow
but this time is different, somehow wary
gently tugged to the side, thumb caressing lips
Puckered crevices fill as soft nudges burn with warmth
gently deeper,
the handle clutched tighter trying to grasp on to anything solid
The veil now lifted you sink below me leaving me with authority
i sudden shock wet lips on wet lips pulses of pleasure ripple
suddenly Im moving into you begging for more
smooth skin glides up my calf and inner thigh the knife released
to Shepard you in you resist mesmerized that the tables have turned so easily,
Finally with all the confidence of a tyrant you begin unleash yourself only you froze, pulled out and walked away.
For ***** sake! and I swore to my self I would drive that god ****** knife into your heart today. You *******! And just like that. The game just changed.

-------------------

Coffee for one again
usually there's two
so you must be ******
was it when I mentioned that name
yu know, when we were both writhing naked on the floor?
It was a simple comparison.
Why so sensitive?
It only happened once.

----------------

the jam sat on the table next to the tea and scones
eyes over easy we looked at each other as she pottered around looking for the cucumber for her sandwiches, she found it in an odd place
and served them as if she had served the queen. We ate them of course most satisfyingly as she harped on about what you did and didn't like
we both agreed we especially liked our cucumber sandwiches,
all the while with your hand in my thighs.
S Smoothie Jul 2014
love takes hold with its ethereal arms and bends me to breaking
out of reach but never out of heart
pull me closer when I just want to get out alive
its not possible
that kiss you sent upon the wind hit me unfairly
it spun me around and I flew just as high as I fell to the ground
was down with love and ok there.
I was surviving, making it through.
now I'm reeling, wondering if there isn't just some way,
to unwrap my soul from around you and be ok to lose you without ever letting go
so take this loving hug upon the wind,
it fell from me willingly to find you
for these lips are too cold and don't say the words,
but this heart does things for you again and again
and my head refuses to intercede.
it seems to know its hopeless and awaits the thud after the flutter.
yeah it does that sometimes...
S Smoothie Aug 2019
You pushed me down

So I did the deed

I got out so you couldn't see me bleed

I left you a goodbye note

Something simple i wrote

Ambiguous but cool

The egg on your face like a fool

I left nothing but vacant space

But they read between the spaces

They looked in all the places

Their shock was mandatory

Bad news travels fast

And now I am the first pick

Where once I was the last

They miss me

And I miss them

But I sure as hell won't miss you ****.
S Smoothie Jan 2015
Etherial touches urging into heated strokes
and a declaration of unwavering love.
gasps of 'oh how beautiful i look'
while devouring the mead of my generosity,
complements falling from your mouth
with every ****** an oath of desire
but i heard none of it
all i could see was her picture,
wiping every word from your mouth.




The doubtress flaunting my pain.
S Smoothie Feb 2014
ache and agony seem friendly now.
I have grown accustomed to them
they are my never ending and constant friend
always speaking up and filling my head with hopes and regrets.
that driver must have been on crack or something because
he didn't understand a thing!
we were so close to that first kiss,
I could see you smile down the street by the park
a dream that died when he took my body
and rolled it in the hot black tar.
that was when I had lips to kiss you.  
joy to see you.
now it is horror.
I live in fear away from all that does not understand
or recoils at my unwarranted monstrosities
I was a beauty once, as beautiful as every lover dreams.
now its hidden on the inside
and that kiss, is just another layer to the pain
that has become my one constant friend.
I don't blame you for running.
I wish the old man hadn't run across the street.
I wish he hadn't called anyone.
I would have died happy on my way to our first kiss.
Oh, those perfect lips...
now I pray for the kiss of death,
so I can finally kiss goodbye my one constant friend.
S Smoothie Jan 2018
The lights of a new day flicker on
like the hope offered by a small candle in a winter storm
to small to do much more than cast a shadow on a wall and provide fleeting warmth; but, wise enough to know hope grows bigger with nothing but faith!

New dreams wash the insides of our eyelids like picture shows of old. childlike awe fills voids at the prospects of old tides turning with nothing but a marker.

A new day, a day in which the first seven, so much was accomplished and therefore possible. Even a silly little thing like the end of an old and beginning of a new year!

Off we go, in search of better -very often leaving it behind for the promise of adventure. Never did a new approach ever run smooth thus we are absorbed in the squabble of life's new experiences searching for peace and often ignoring it when we find it.

Happy adventures!
may you enjoy the life out of your challenges, both those that rise to meet you, and those you choose to engage in. May you find the fire that lightens and fills the heart with joy and inspire.
Be awesome
S Smoothie Jan 2014
Another year closes
and the waves of pain invite themselves
for one last wash over me
a host of words and phrases un sugar coated
calling back the dire pain
duly survived and noted.
and as much as I walk that higher road
it never lets me forgive if I forget.
endless vengeance haunts me for its exaction.
And pain is a nasty ***** to comprehend
it's not who I am
or who I want To be
or what I want to send
but it is on its way.
I can't stop it.
I don't really want to anymore.
I want to feel the rush of satifaction
with the ramming of my metaphorical fist into your charmless faces
a barrage of covert assaults on my good character
well congratulations you win.
Jokers and aces
I'm the bad *** on all of your cases
ran myself into the ground
and not an ounce of gratitude was found
now karma won't listen to me
my great pain howled
and the injustice has been heard
the trade has subconsciously been made.
God help you all there's no way back from this
it is what it is...
a brand new year,
and with it comes resolution and how
the restitution I used to abhor
sits so **** comfortable with me now.
There's More pain ahead,
I'm so conditioned I wear it like a crown on my head.
Well done I applaude you
you intolerable *****!
let fate do its will
I ain't holding it back
let this tidal wave crush you
in your tracks
so you can feel my pain
and don't call for me
I wont remember your names
like the years torn from my soul,
my children, my love, my home;
I won't feel it all in vain.
im giving it all to you
the very deserving orchestrators
of my cruelly wrought tidal waves of ******* pain.

Yours sincerely,
Really ****** off.

.... Original write below:

Another year closes
and the waves of pain invite themselves
for one last wash over me
a host of words and phrases
calling back the dire pain
duly survived and noted.
and as much as I walk that higher road
it never lets me forgive if I forget.
endless vengeance haunts me for its exaction.
And pain is a nasty ***** to comprehend
it's not who I am
or who I want To be
but it is on its way.
I can't stop it.
I don't really want to anymore.
I want to feel the rush of satifaction
with the ramming of my metaphorical fist into your charmless faces
a barrage of covert assaults on my good character
well congratulations you win.
I'm the bad ***.
ran myself into the ground
and not an ounce of gratitude was found
now karma won't listen to me
my great pain howled
and the injustice has been heard
the trade has been subconsciously made.
God help you all there's no way back from this
it is what it is...
a brand new year,
and with it comes resolution.
the restitution I used to abhor
sits so **** we'll with me now.
More pain ahead.
I'm conditioned to wear it on my head like a crown.
Well done I applaude you
you intolerable *****!
let fate do its will
I ain't holding it back
let this tidal wave crush you
so you can feel my pain
and don't call for me
I wont remember your names
like the years torn from my soul,
my children, my home, my love;
I won't feel it all in vain.
im giving it all to you
the very deserving orchestrators
of my cruelly wrought tidal waves of pain.

Yours sincerely,
****** off.
S Smoothie Mar 2017
Like flesh missing from my bones, your absence screams at me
dry days fold into empty nights that even sleep refuses to visit
the warm of your breath starkly unavailable
life it seems left with you
the heart wants what the heart wants
it cut its self out
what use has it of these dry bones
and this longing disposition
seeking only your return
one dropless beat at a time
I wait for the get down
when your eyes breath life back into mine
and brings the flesh back to these bones
S Smoothie Nov 2013
Whatever...
It's dry ice under pressure
It's cold hard deliberate ignorance
And it works so **** well
It's the moment of clarity
The supreme mastery of
I just don't give a ****!
It's a blatant disregard
It's an invisible snicker
And works like a charm
It's the flick of a hand
the a slap in the face
A devastating calm
"What the ****!?"
doesn't even enter into it.
it's omnipotence of being
It's as blunt as it is sharp
And it works ******* perfectly
It's the absolute finite certainty
It's a calmness of exacting cuntism...
Best served with
whatever;
i just don't give
a ******* ****!


*Author's Notes/Comments:
I feel like I want to write off the world at the moment!
S Smoothie Nov 2013
I am an artist of the soul
who seeps into tangible form
some vague representation
of my true self's expression.
S Smoothie Feb 2014
as if you know what good poetry is.
what it means to lay your heart with your guts on the road
with your sins pointing to it
knowing some ******* words strung together like the mess on the floor
slipping and sliding into a figure of speech
and folding it all up into a metaphor for the clueless.
as if.
S Smoothie Oct 2018
a kiss on the breath of a heart beat,
hunts the space of time
for a flicker in the hopes
That in some small way,
I still matter...
S Smoothie Jun 2016
-----

Its too easy to fall into your armosphere
Saturated with feelings
Immersed in the moment
I am completely here
-----
The joy of adventures exude from you
invitation envelopes like  welcome warmth of home
I want to run with you jumping stars
carrying each other through
----
Mesmerised,
we could have easily forgone extraneous chatter
But it was far too necessary
Cautious eyes laid un-ultrustic lenses
Far too thick for us to shatter
-----
At the tearing away of our own little universe  in our eyes,
the shrieking peel of lifes direcion made its self clear.
The yokes pulled on opposite directions
Tonight we will forbid  our spiritual highs
-----
Its too easy to fall into my favourite fantasy
And just as hard to make it anything else
Just as always serendipity taunts
And cruel fates,
just wont let us be
S Smoothie Jul 2014
The moon wanted to hug me
The stars tried to console me
I was cold, sitting on the edge of a windy cliff bleeding love
And he just stood there till i felt he was gone.
S Smoothie Apr 2014
magnificence was never a trait of mine

thats why i always wanted to be near yours



the sun scrawls out fingers of light on your crown

The birds sing of love whe youre around

and it fills my heart with longing

how many others open their doors to your glory

and which if ever will you walk through?

my archway lays bare

all my hopes and despairs lace the floor,

curl your soul around me

and lay upon my heart

pick the beat you want,

every one is yours

and with it hope endures.
S Smoothie Dec 2014
magnificence was never a trait of mine
thats why i always wanted to be near yours

the sun scrawls out fingers of light on your crown
The birds sing of love whe youre around
and it fills my heart with  the dread of longing
how many others open their doors to your glory
and which if ever will you walk through?
my archway lays bare
all my hopes and despairs lace the floor,
curl your soul around me
and lay upon my heart
pick the beat you want,
every one is yours
and with it hope endures.
S Smoothie May 2018
she stood atop the high cliff
Scanning the oceans depths to the horizon
Soft amber glows lit her strong fine features
She had that far away look in her treacle eyes
he knew she was not present
she had gone to be with the spirit of her love
how his own spirit ached to chase after it,
to hold her steady so she would not lose sight of the shore
he almost drifted away with her
but sensed the need for her privacy
he did not want to find what she hoped she might find
he felt it would truly destroy him
he restrained himself from touching her
instead he looked out to he setting sun over her shoulder
letting the strands of lit golden hair flicker on to his cheek
as he blessed and thanked creation
for bestowing on him such simple glory
a wilderness of gratitude for each faint stroke
his whole being came alive
a grand mercy in a pinprick of revelation
divinely connected
as if her body knew that a love lost
was held steady across the arcs of time by another love
as she stood there motionless,
reverent Silence between them
the queen of his faith had restored in him,
what he had long hoped restore in her
He thought recklessly
‘We held time there,
locked in an expedition,
each of our own
words never spoke of any greater higher church,
than that of love
as our haloes mingled,
the sun left enraged with jealousy
slipping into the darkness
leaving the colours of our mismatched hearts to bleed’.
S Smoothie Jul 2018
she stood atop the high cliff
Scanning the oceans depths to the horizon
Soft amber glows lit her strong fine features
She had that far away look in her treacle eyes
he knew she was not present
she had gone to be with the spirit of her love
how his own spirit ached to chase after it,
to hold her steady so she would not lose sight of the shore
he almost drifted away with her
but sensed the need for her privacy
he did not want to find what she hoped she might find
he felt it would truly destroy him
he restrained himself from touching her
instead he looked out to he setting sun over her shoulder
letting the strands of lit golden hair flicker on to his cheek
as he blessed and thanked creation
for bestowing on him such simple glory
a wilderness of gratitude for each faint stroke
his whole being came alive
a grand mercy in a pinprick of revelation
divinely connected
as if her body knew that a love lost
was held steady across the arcs of time by another love
as she stood there motionless,
reverent Silence between them
the queen of his faith had restored in him,
what he had long hoped restore in her
He thought recklessly
‘We held time there,
locked in an expedition,
each of our own
words never spoke of any greater higher church,
than that of love
as our haloes mingled,
the sun left enraged with jealousy
slipping into the darkness
leaving the colours of our mismatched hearts to bleed’.
S Smoothie Jul 2016
Eyes searching desperately for answers I do not have
I cannot give,
Won't give.

The resonance of pain too much
Can't filter it,
Even endurance groans heavily at the need to press on

Illusions cast shadows all the time
You pick the ones you want,
Like,
Desperately need.

You believe them,
Questioning them gently,
till you fool yourself with plausible reasons.
You won't go to the core,
You're afraid of what lives there.

Taunting with its pretty whitewashed name
Nightmares parading as daydreams
Its the perfect master of deception
No one escapes it
It knows you so intricately,
Where every seed of doubt remains unwatered
twisting every nerve given to compulsion,
Deftly it hides you amongst the comfortable lies.

Applause,
Bravo,
A standing ovation
The illusuionst,
every slight of mind, sheer perfection!

What need is there of our pretty sunbleached truth
When you are your own masterful pretty little liar.

Now look what you've done,
Made your cake of clotted fears and twisted fruits
A recipe for disaster
Shhhh,
Mastermind of the tears of one.

Has a nice ring to it,
Don't you think?
You've made your cake go on eat it too.
S Smoothie Oct 2015
Alas,
once again,
like the emotionally insane refugee
who cannot find comfort in assylum,
there is no communion.

I come to find her gone,
And the vacuous space she left behind
Immeasurable.
S Smoothie Nov 2013
A *kiss

tender but uninvited;

nothing more nothing less.

an exit.

two steps;

a question,

two steps;

an answer:

because I love you.

my searching eyes see nothing of yours

my ears just won't validate it

three steps

a question,

an answer:

very much.

an exit.
S Smoothie Sep 2018
holding on to my paper love
folded and unfolded
again and again
the words you sent me
mean nothing now
but oh so splendid
when they did
the worn folds
and turned edges
fluffed and whiskered
simple words on a note
held for many years
and what you wrote
lay in my hands
a thousand silent
times, and perhaps
a thousand many more.
S Smoothie Mar 2019
For healing,

For the scales of blind hate peeled off our eyes

We are all the sons and daughters of one humanity

One light that shines bright each day

And one light that shines cool by night

And as each one of us tries to claw through the obstacles

Of hate, fear and the unknown the truth is side by side

Without colour culture or religion

Our souls still speak and recognise eachother

And our eyes without the lens of corruption

See each others beauty and would long for company

And joy.

If only we could see...
S Smoothie Jul 2014
Its the times Im alone that i fear the ghost of you.

I cant wash the sins out of my hair

or the rising betrayal in my heart

I cant afford you.

instead I watch you shimmer.
S Smoothie Oct 2014
once again the light of love has ssmoothed over your indisgressions

barbed arrows and blunt fist blows full of words.

I turned my back to ice.

i fractured.

I turned into scalding water

I seeped into the ground

luke warm is all I am able.

I dont know whether to turn into vapour

or collect myself at your feet.

my love is still a fragile phoenix.

its your move.
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