Hello,
it has been a while.

it has been a while,
since emotions
start flowing.

it has been a while,
that sadness has
not called and asked
about my feelings.

it has been a while,
since my fingers
tapped to the
beats of my anger.

it has been a while
since I had a good day;
and it's today.

words,
do you know
how toxic you sounded?
it was your spirit of anger;
distinguishable amongst
your flaming passion
of your career.

words,
do you know how
you made a maiden
cry in a filthy land;
and because of your ego,
you have used the kingdom
for your battles without
clear victories.

your words.
they hurt.
sword-wounds
would probably
feel better than
your words.

if the broken you -
can see the beauty
of this                    horrid, horrid world,
then how bad
can the world be?

good night, anxiety;
why are you not asleep?
is my mind keeping
you awake?

I am exhausted from your
endless questions about
existential topics,
non-existential topics,
                         worry, fear, pressure

I don't want to talk about
                         my future and dreams,
the things I could had
talked about when
nighttime hasn't arrived

good night, anxiety;
I didn't leave the light on,
just in case you leave
in the loud darkness
but you didn't;
and it's morning again

i used to dream in black and white,
grays blending together the scenes that
spin spin spin
until i can't differentiate black from white.
i dreamt about shriveling flowers and endless hallways
and never being able to scream;
and then i met you.
suddenly i was dreaming in color,
a luxury i thought would never come to fruition,
flowers popping and life breathed back into trees.
i never knew how beautiful it was to have someone hold you at 3am,
to kiss your bruises and tell you your scars are angelic
even though the way you acquired them isn't.
i never knew how beautiful it was
to dream in color.