your grip was always cold and harsh,
it left bruises with colors of autumn leaves,
they were beautiful on my pale skin,
your eyes were enchanting,
a piercing blue that sparked like a faulty wire,
your ideas were wild,
as wild as your hair in the early morning,
as wild as your personality,
as wild as the look in your eyes when i mess up,
i know i have done something wrong,
but your love is warmth after you make me feel cold,
you tell me you love me,
your lips whisper promises i know you cant keep,
but you love me you say,
you say you mean it,
maybe that's why i stayed,
but your love was a lot to handle,
if the love you promised me was this damaging i wouldn't have stayed,
the pale technicolor bruises have spread,
my silence makes you happy,
that faulty wire that lit up with your passion is tied tight around my neck,
the blue color of your eyes has spread onto my skin,
i cant breathe,
untie the wire,
your wild ideas have gone too far this time,
i cant.
breathe.

On cold, October evenings, you can hear the rustling of leaves being blown by the wind.
Your neighbor's dog barking with an echo down the street.
The giggling of children as they play games under the glow of dim street lights.
You are not alone.

And then there's the sunset,
Colors grazing what is left of the autumn leaves on the trees,
it is time for you to situate yourself back into your home.
There's a quietness to your house; bodies lingering nearby but don't present themselves.
You scale the stairs that creak with each step like an eerie tune that brings brief life into the home.
Bristly fur of a cat brushes against your goose bumped skin.
You are not alone.

The stillness of your bedroom,
The hall light peeking through from under your closed door creating shadows in the darkness.
The light representing someone is still awake in the quiet house as you're trying to close your eyes and shut off your thoughts.
Quiet sobbing turned into hyperventilating as the blanket you're clutching, crumples as your grip tightens.
You feel cold and helpless fighting internally with the dark shadows making their way into your mind.
Your gasping breaths are abruptly stopped by the beat of rushed footsteps.

The swinging open of your door creates a wave of light that masks out the nothingness in your room.
Their arms wrapping tightly around your shaking body,
as you gurgle your fears out of your throat,
is that warmth you craved.
"You are not alone."

The radiant sun beating down on your porcelain skin cannot warm the coldness of your heart.

You're a dream, your face is a masterpiece and your eyes hold unlimited universes but the words that grace your blossom lips are venom.

They sink into my flesh like fangs and I'm wounded. Your presence is captivating and I'm haunted when you're not around but it's a heavy feeling.

You're unkind, spiteful and deceptive, a thesaurus cannot fully label the horrid personality you created for yourself. You were blessed with an angels face but you sinned my life with a devilish grin and the words that lured me in.

Your love was suffocating.

Your hands would contort my body,
Making my flesh pulsate and spine tingle with each grasp.

Your fingers left marks on my skin like blotches of blush on a flushed face. Colors hidden under dull sweaters, my fingertips found them throughout the day to remind me of those secrets you've harshly whispered in the dark.

Your voice was sharp,
for even when you were quiet I could hear its power in your eyes. One look in my direction and I felt frozen. Your eyes were a warm brown but they turned my blood cold.

Your love was so suffocating,
it killed me.