Her solemn eyes shares the work of a torn heart
She gazes into a darkened abyss she calls her melancholia
A place, cold and familiar, like a bedroom closet
It is neither open nor closed; the home of dim secrets

She feels and feels and feels until numb
Detached is far better, oh sister of her apathy
Where is the strength to rise?
To harvest again the morning sun

It takes all her power as she clings
She fights to remember that once she was happy
A gleaner of laughter and hope
She is worthy of a second chance

two years since you and I am still in the habit of falling in love with the idea of people
still in the habit of giving too much and thinking too little about the consequences
I wonder if I am tragically sentenced to unrequited love
and terrible timing
and wanting to fix people who never admit to being broken
I don't miss you anymore
or him
or anyone else I used to think I couldn't breathe without
I've just only ever known to associate love with suffering
and I'm afraid of feeling the same pain with different people for the rest of my life

There are oceans,
In which the waves
Pull me in.
In them I see life,
Glowing,
Growing,
Rippling.
Sea creatures live
Inside the details
The deep crevices
Of blue and green speckles.
They breathe life into me
As I drown in the tide.
In your eyes I see my reflection.
I see
Indescribable love
As vast as the ocean they resemble.

i did not
even know
that you could
love and hate
someone
at the same time,
even more so
did i not know
that i could feel
both emotions
so much
and so deeply -
together.

I can't make you want me.
I can't make you care,
About my feelings or emotions,
You left my heart bare.
I cry over you,
Although I know it wont faze you.

Tears fall from my eyes,
As I try to forget you.
It hurts to be unwanted,
Left to the side,
Forgotten about in the blink of an eye.
I feel so insignificant,
So incredibly small,
Knowing that I meant nothing at all.

But I can't make you want me.
I know you don't care.
As much as I want you,
You'll never be there.

.
.
.
tired but couldn’t sleep
i’m wondering if you’re worth to keep
this foolish heart is in pain
but still it beats your name

I’m tired of lying that things will work out
I’m tired of telling myself that “Today will
         be the day”
I’m tired of drifting through this world
         feeling so alone
I’m tired of pretending I’m completely OK

I’m tired of learning how to be strong
I’m tired of striving to be something
         I’m not
I’m tired of putting my faith in the things
         unknown
I’m tired of hoping ‘cause hope’s all I got

I’m tired of slowly forgetting all of the
          good times
I’m tired of wondering if my chance at
          love is gone
I’m tired of waiting for someone to
          save me
I’m tired of singing, for I sing for no one

I’m tired of wishing she could love me
           the same
I’m tired of feeling as though I’ve
           forgotten how to feel
I’m tired of “best friends” that never get
           to know me
I’m tired of thinking any chance of my
           happiness is unreal

I’m tired of this world where both the
           light and the darkness reject me
I’m tired of realizing that my best is
           never good enough
I’m tired of being defined by factors
           that I’ve never controlled
I’m tired of making excuses for why all
            I do is ruin stuff

I guess what I’m trying to say is this:

I’m tired of being tired
And I’m tired of waking up