I don't live within the walls,
I don't live between parentheses,
I don't grow towards the light,
I live underground,
Overwhelmed and dissatisfied,
Detached and fretful,
Still thinking my life is my own and my choices have meaning.

I can plan out a lifetime based on one look,
A glance in my direction,
Though disputed,
Can prompt my imagination.

Our life would be happy,
Without harsh judgement,
You'd hold me close,
And laugh when I made the coffee wrong,
But we'd be happy.

This disputed glance,
Probably aimed at her,
Not the deeply loving girl,
Slightly to the right.

If a proxy war could end this town,
I'd spend the day searching for those eyes,
your eyes,
I'd take up arms in a secret spot,
our spot,
I'd barricade myself within,
a steel fort,
And refuse to leave without a fight.

Your name was used in class today ,
Talked about for at least five minutes ,
Possibly more once I'd processed what was happening ,
I forgot about you ,
for that I apologise ,
you were a silent hero of mine and as I observed situations I felt you observe me ,
of course you weren't ,
but I still miss your presence .

writing poetry is like writing to an old friend ,
one you haven't heard from in years ,
one that , frankly , you forgot existed ,
you meet for coffee , discuss weekend plans and live in each others light ,
you'll still try to prove something ,
whether you're ready or right or fine,
eventually you'd part ways after promising you'd meet up again ,
for coffee in that same corner shop ,
on a gloomy day ,
to reminisce .

Do you think it would be okay if I sat ?
If I took this opportunity to talk ,
and you to listen ,
For me to sort my thoughts ,
for you to see my cheeks redden .

Perhaps it would be alright if I stared a little longer than I should've ?
Maybe if you were staring back we'd be okay ,
for me to watch you avert your gaze,
If you could quiet the noise for a second ,
there's no end to your power ,
Silence my nerves with a look ,
appreciate movement .

If I could just accompany you for a minute ?
I'd tell you all about yourself ,
the you I believe in ,
the person I hoped you'd bring out in me .

But by all means ,
this seat is saved for someone else ,
my intentions remain pure ,
wait for her ,
I'll wait for you .